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St. Teresa of Avila
The Way of Perfection
IntraText CT - Text
The Way of Perfection
CHAPTER 36 - Treats of these words in the Paternoster: "Dimitte nobis debita nostra."
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CHAPTER
36
-
Treats
of these
words
in the
Paternoster
: "
Dimitte
nobis
debita
nostra
."
127
Our
good
Master
sees
that, if we have this
heavenly
food
, everything is
easy
for us, except when we are ourselves to
blame
, and that we are well
able
to
fulfil
our
undertaking
to the
Father
that His will shall be done in us. So He now
asks
Him to
forgive
us our
debts
, as we ourselves
forgive
others. Thus,
continuing
the
prayer
which He is
teaching
us, He
says
these
words
: "And
forgive
us,
Lord
, our
debts
, even as we
forgive
them to our
debtors
."
Notice
,
sisters
, that He does not
say
: "as we shall
forgive
." We are to
understand
that anyone who
asks
for so
great
a
gift
as that
just
mentioned
, and has already
yielded
his own will to the will of
God
, must have done this already. And so He
says
: "as we
forgive
our
debtors
." Anyone, then, who
sincerely
repeats
this
petition
, "
Fiat
voluntas
tua
", must, at least in
intention
, have done this already. You
see
now why the
saints
rejoiced
in
insults
and
persecutions
: it was because these
gave
them something to
present
to the
Lord
when they
prayed
to Him. What can a
poor
creature
like myself do, who has had so
little
to
forgive
others and has so much to be
forgiven
herself? This,
sisters
, is something which we should
consider
carefully
; it is such a
serious
and
important
matter
that
God
should
pardon
us our
sins
, which have
merited
eternal
fire
, that we must
pardon
all
trifling
things
which have been done to us and which are not
wrongs
at all, or anything else. For how is it
possible
, either in
word
or in
deed
, to
wrong
one who, like myself, has
deserved
to be
plagued
by
devils
for ever? Is it not only
right
that I should be
plagued
128
in this
world
too? As I have so few,
Lord
, even of these
trifling
things
, to
offer
Thee, Thy
pardoning
of me must be a
free
gift
: there is
abundant
scope
here for Thy
mercy
. Thy
Son
must
pardon
me, for no one has done me any
injustice
, and so there has been nothing that I can
pardon
for Thy
sake
. But
take
my
desire
to do so,
Lord
, for I
believe
I would
forgive
any
wrong
if Thou
wouldst
forgive
me and I might
unconditionally
do Thy will.
True
, if the
occasion
were to
arise
, and I were
condemned
without
cause
, I do not
know
what I should do. But at this
moment
I
see
that I am so
guilty
in Thy
sight
that everything I might have to
suffer
would
fall
short
of my
deserts
, though anyone not
knowing
, as Thou
knowest
, what I am, would
think
I was
being
wronged
.
Blessed
be Thou, Who
endurest
one that is so
poor
: when Thy most
holy
Son
makes this
petition
in the
name
of all
mankind
, I cannot be
included
,
being
such as I am and
having
nothing to
give
.
And
supposing
, my
Lord
, that there are others who are like myself but have not
realized
that this is so? If there are any such, I
beg
them, in Thy
name
, to
remember
this
truth
, and to
pay
no
heed
to
little
things
about which they
think
they are
being
slighted
, for, if they
insist
on these
nice
points
of
honour
, they become like
children
building
houses
of
straw
.
Oh
,
God
help
me,
sisters
! If we only
knew
what
honour
really
is and what is
meant
by
losing
it! I am not
speaking
now about ourselves, for it would indeed be a
bad
business
if we did not
understand
this; I am
speaking
of myself as I was when I
prided
myself on my
honour
without
knowing
what
honour
meant
; I
just
followed
the
example
of others.
Oh
, how
easily
I used to
feel
slighted
! I am
ashamed
to
think
of it now; and I was not one of those who
worried
most about such
things
either. But I never
grasped
the
essence
of the
matter
, because I neither
thought
nor
troubled
about
true
honour
, which it is
good
for us to have because it
profits
the
soul
. How
truly
has someone
said
: "
Honour
and
profit
cannot
go
together." I do not
know
if this was what that
person
was
thinking
of when he
said
it; but it is
literally
true
, for the
soul
's
profit
and what the
world
calls
honour
can never be
reconciled
.
Really
, the
topsy-turviness
of the
world
is
terrible
.
Blessed
be the
Lord
for taking us out of it!
May
His
Majesty
grant
that this
house
shall always be as
far
from it as it is now!
God
preserve
us from
religious
houses
where they
worry
about
points
of
honour
! Such
places
never do much
honour
to
God
.
God
help
us, how
absurd
it is for
religious
to
connect
their
honour
with
things
so
trifling
that they
amaze
me! You
know
nothing about this,
sisters
, but I will
tell
you about it so that you
may
be
wary
. You
see
,
sisters
, the
devil
has not
forgotten
us. He has
invented
honours
of his own for
religious
houses
and has made
laws
by which we
go
up and down in
rank
, as
people
do in the
world
.
Learned
men
have to
observe
this with
regard
to their
studies
(a
matter
of which I
know
nothing): anyone, for
example
, who has
got
as
far
as
reading
theology
must not
descend
and
read
philosophy
-- that is their
kind
of
honour
, according to which you must always be
going
up and never
going
down. Even if someone were
commanded
by
obedience
to
take
a
step
down, he would in his own
mind
consider
himself
slighted
; and then someone would
take
his
part
[and
say
] it was an
insult
; next, the
devil
would
discover
reasons
for this -- and he seems to be an
authority
even in
God
's own
law
. Why, among ourselves, anyone who has been a
prioress
is thereby
incapacitated
from
holding
any
lower
office
for the
rest
of her
life
. We must
defer
to the
senior
among us, and we are not
allowed
to
forget
it either: sometimes it would
appear
to be a
positive
merit
for us to do this, because it is a
rule
of the
Order
.
The
thing
is enough to make one
laugh
-- or, it would be more
proper
to
say
, to make one
weep
. After all, the
Order
does not
command
us not to be
humble
: it
commands
us to do everything in
due
form
. And in
matters
which
concern
my own
esteem
I
ought
not to be so
formal
as to
insist
that this
detail
of our
Rule
shall be
kept
as
strictly
as the
rest
, which we
may
in
fact
be
observing
very
imperfectly
. We must not
put
all our
effort
into
observing
just
this one
detail
: let my
interests
be
looked
after by others -- I will
forget
about myself
altogether
. The
fact
is, although we shall never
rise
as
far
as
Heaven
in this
way
, we are
attracted
by the
thought
of
rising
higher
, and we
dislike
climbing
down.
O
,
Lord
,
Lord
,
art
Thou our
Example
and our
Master
? Yes, indeed. And wherein did Thy
honour
consist
,
O
Lord
, Who hast
honoured
us?
129
Didst
Thou
perchance
lose
it when Thou
wert
humbled
even to
death
? No,
Lord
, rather
didst
Thou
gain
it for all.
For the
love
of
God
,
sisters
! We have
lost
our
way
; we have
taken
the
wrong
path
from the very beginning.
God
grant
that no
soul
be
lost
through its
attention
to these
wretched
niceties
about
honour
, when it has no
idea
wherein
honour
consists
. We shall
get
to the
point
of
thinking
that we have done something
wonderful
because we have
forgiven
a
person
for some
trifling
thing
, which was neither a
slight
nor an
insult
nor anything else. Then we shall
ask
the
Lord
to
forgive
us as
people
who have done something
important
,
just
because we have
forgiven
someone.
Grant
us, my
God
, to
understand
how
little
we
understand
ourselves and how
empty
our
hands
are when we
come
to Thee that Thou, of Thy
mercy
,
mayest
forgive
us. For in
truth
,
Lord
, since all
things
have an end and
punishment
is
eternal
, I can
see
nothing
meritorious
which I
may
present
to Thee that Thou
mayest
grant
us so
great
a
favour
. Do it, then, for the
sake
of Him Who
asks
it of Thee, and Who
may
well do so, for He is always
being
wronged
and
offended
.
How
greatly
the
Lord
must
esteem
this
mutual
love
of ours one for another! For,
having
given
Him our
wills
, we have
given
Him
complete
rights
over us, and we cannot do that without
love
.
See
, then,
sisters
, how
important
it is for us to
love
one another and to be at
peace
. The
good
Jesus
might have
put
everything else before our
love
for one another, and
said
: "
Forgive
us,
Lord
, because we are
doing
a
great
deal
of
penance
, or because we are
praying
often, and
fasting
, and because we have
left
all for Thy
sake
and
love
Thee
greatly
." But He has never
said
: "Because we would
lose
our
lives
for Thy
sake
"; or any of these [
numerous
] other
things
which He might have
said
. He
simply
says
: "Because we
forgive
." Perhaps the
reason
He
said
this rather than anything else was because He
knew
that our
fondness
for this
dreadful
honour
made
mutual
love
the
hardest
virtue
for us to
attain
, though it is the
virtue
dearest
to His
Father
. Because of its very
difficulty
He
put
it where He did, and after
having
asked
for so many
great
gifts
for us, He
offers
it on our
behalf
to
God
.
Note
particularly
,
sisters
, that He
says
: "As we
forgive
." As I have
said
, He
takes
this for
granted
. And
observe
especially
with
regard
to it that unless, after
experiencing
the
favours
granted
by
God
in the
prayer
that I have
called
perfect
contemplation
, a
person
is very
resolute
, and makes a
point
, if the
occasion
arises
, of
forgiving
, not [only] these
mere
nothings
which
people
call
wrongs
, but any
wrong
, however
grave
, you
need
not
think
much of that
person
's
prayer
.
130
For
wrongs
have no
effect
upon a
soul
whom
God
draws
to Himself in such
sublime
prayer
as this, nor does it
care
if it is
highly
esteemed
or no. That is not
quite
correct
: it does
care
, for
honour
distresses
much more than
dishonour
and it
prefers
trials
to a
great
deal
of
rest
and
ease
. For anyone to whom the
Lord
has
really
given
His
Kingdom
no
longer
wants
a
kingdom
in this
world
,
knowing
that he is
going
the
right
way
to
reign
in a much more
exalted
manner
, and
having
already
discovered
by
experience
what
great
benefits
the
soul
gains
and what
progress
it makes when it
suffers
for
God
's
sake
. For only very
rarely
does His
Majesty
grant
it such
great
consolations
, and then only to those who have
willingly
borne
many
trials
for His
sake
. For
contemplatives
, as I have
said
elsewhere in this
book
, have to
bear
heavy
trials
, and therefore the
Lord
seeks
out for Himself
souls
of
great
experience
.
Understand
, then,
sisters
, that as these
persons
have already
learned
to
rate
everything at its
proper
valuation
, they
pay
little
attention
to
things
which
pass
away. A
great
wrong
, or a
great
trial
,
may
cause
them some
momentary
distress
, but they will
hardly
have
felt
it when
reason
will
intervene
, and will seem to
raise
its
standard
aloft
, and
drive
away their
distress
by
giving
them the
joy
of
seeing
how
God
has
entrusted
them with the
opportunity
of
gaining
, in a
single
day
, more
lasting
favours
and
graces
in His
Majesty
's
sight
than they could
gain
in
ten
years
by
means
of
trials
which they
sought
on their own
account
. This, as I
understand
(and I have
talked
about it with many
contemplatives
), is
quite
usual
, and I
know
for a
fact
that it
happens
.
Just
as other
people
prize
gold
and
jewels
, so these
persons
prize
and
desire
trials
, for they
know
quite
well that
trials
will make them
rich
.
Such
persons
would never on any
account
esteem
themselves: they
want
their
sins
to be
known
and like to
speak
about them to
people
who they
see
have any
esteem
for them. The same is
true
of their
descent
, which they
know
quite
well will be of no
advantage
to them in the
kingdom
which has no end. If
being
of
good
birth
were any
satisfaction
to them, it would be because this would
enable
them to
serve
God
better
. If they are not well
born
, it
distresses
them when
people
think
them
better
than they are, and it
causes
them no
distress
to
disabuse
them, but only
pleasure
. The
reason
for this is that those to whom
God
grants
the
favour
of
possessing
such
humility
and
great
love
for Him
forget
themselves when there is a
possibility
of
rendering
Him
greater
services
, and
simply
cannot
believe
that others are
troubled
by
things
which they themselves do not
consider
as
wrongs
at all.
These last
effects
which I have
mentioned
are
produced
in
persons
who have
reached
a
high
degree
of
perfection
and to whom the
Lord
commonly
grants
the
favour
of
uniting
them to Himself by
perfect
contemplation
. But the first of these
effects
-- namely, the
determination
to
suffer
wrongs
even though such
suffering
brings
distress
-- is very
quickly
seen
in anyone to whom the
Lord
has
granted
this
grace
of
prayer
as
far
as the
stage
of
union
. If these
effects
are not
produced
in a
soul
and it is not
strengthened
by
prayer
, you
may
take
it that this was not
Divine
favour
but
indulgence
and
illusion
coming
from the
devil
, which he makes us
think
to be
good
, so that we
may
attach
more
importance
to our
honour
.
It
may
be that, when the
Lord
first
grants
these
favours
, the
soul
will not
immediately
attain
this
fortitude
. But, if He
continues
to
grant
them, He will
soon
give
it
fortitude
--
certainly
, at least, as
regards
forgiveness
, if not in the other
virtues
as well. I cannot
believe
that a
soul
which has
approached
so
nearly
to
Mercy
Itself, and has
learned
to
know
itself and the
greatness
of
God
's
pardon
, will not
immediately
and
readily
forgive
, and be
mollified
and
remain
on
good
terms
with a
person
who has done it
wrong
. For such a
soul
remembers
the
consolation
and
grace
which He has
shown
it, in which it has
recognized
the
signs
of
great
love
, and it is
glad
that the
occasion
presents
itself for
showing
Him some
love
in
return
.
I
repeat
that I
know
many
persons
to whom Our
Lord
has
granted
the
grace
of
raising
them to
supernatural
experiences
and of
giving
them this
prayer
, or
contemplation
, which has been
described
; and although I
may
notice
other
faults
and
imperfections
in them, I have never
seen
such a
person
who had this
particular
fault
, nor do I
believe
such a
person
exists
, if the
favours
he has
received
are of
God
. If any one of you
receives
high
favours
, let her
look
within herself and
see
if they are
producing
these
effects
, and, if they are not, let her be very
fearful
, and
believe
that these
consolations
are not of
God
, Who, as I have
said
, when He
visits
the
soul
, always
enriches
it. That is
certain
; for, although the
grace
and the
consolations
may
pass
quickly
, it can be
recognized
in
due
course
through the
benefits
which it
bestows
on the
soul
. And, as the
good
Jesus
knows
this well, He
gives
a
definite
assurance
to His
Holy
Father
that we are
forgiving
our
debtors
.
127
"
Forgive
us our
debts
."
128
Lit
.: "
ill-treated
." The same
verb
is used in the
following
sentence
.
129
Lit
.: "our
Honourer
" --
Honrador
nuestro
: a rather
unusual
phrase
which
T
.
changes
into the
quite
conventional
honrado
Maestro
-- "
honoured
Master
."
130
St
.
Teresa
left
this
sentence
uncompleted
.
Luis
de
Le-n
added
: "You
need
not . . .
prayer
" in his
edition
, since when it has always been
included
. It
figures
as an
anonymous
correction
in
T
.
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