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St. Teresa of Avila
The Way of Perfection
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The Way of Perfection
CHAPTER 19 - Begins to treat of prayer. Addresses souls who cannot reason with the understanding.
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CHAPTER
19
-
Begins
to
treat
of
prayer
.
Addresses
souls
who cannot
reason
with the
understanding
.
It is a
long
time
57
since I
wrote
the last
CHAPTER
and I have had no
chance
of
returning
to my
writing
, so that, without
reading
through what I have
written
, I cannot
remember
what I
said
. However, I must not
spend
too much
time
at this, so it will be
best
if I
go
right
on
58
without
troubling
about the
connection
. For those with
orderly
minds
, and for
souls
who
practise
prayer
and can be a
great
deal
in their own
company
, many
books
have been
written
, and these are so
good
and are the
work
of such
competent
people
that you would be
making
a
mistake
if you
paid
heed
to anything about
prayer
that you
learned
from me. There are
books
, as I
say
, in which the
mysteries
of the
life
of the
Lord
and of His
sacred
Passion
are
described
in
short
passages
, one for each
day
of the
week
; there are also
meditations
on the
Judgment
, on
hell
, on our own
nothingness
and on all that we
owe
to
God
, and these
books
are
excellent
both as to their
teaching
and as to the
way
in which they
plan
the beginning and the end of the
time
of
prayer
.
59
There is no
need
to
tell
anyone who is
capable
of
practising
prayer
in this
way
, and has already
formed
the
habit
of
doing
so, that by this
good
road
the
Lord
will
bring
her to the
harbour
of
light
. If she
begins
so well, her end will be
good
also; and all who can
walk
along this
road
will
walk
restfully
and
securely
, for one always
walks
restfully
when the
understanding
is
kept
in
restraint
. It is something else that I
wish
to
treat
of and
help
you about if the
Lord
is
pleased
to
enable
me to do so; if not, you will at least
realize
that there are many
souls
who
suffer
this
trial
, and you will not be so much
distressed
at
undergoing
it yourselves at first, but will
find
some
comfort
in it.
There are some
souls
, and some
minds
, as
unruly
as
horses
not yet
broken
in. No one can stop them: now they
go
this
way
, now that
way
; they are never still. Although a
skilled
rider
mounted
on such a
horse
may
not always be in
danger
, he will be so sometimes; and, even if he is not
concerned
about his
life
, there will always be the
risk
of his
stumbling
,
60
so that he has to
ride
with
great
care
. Some
people
are either like this by
nature
or
God
permits
them to become so. I am very
sorry
for them; they seem to me like
people
who are very
thirsty
and
see
water
a
long
way
off, yet, when they
try
to
go
to it,
find
someone who all the
time
is
barring
their
path
-- at the beginning of their
journey
, in the
middle
and at the end. And when, after all their
labour
-- and the
labour
is
tremendous
-- they have
conquered
the first of their
enemies
, they
allow
themselves to be
conquered
by the
second
, and they
prefer
to
die
of
thirst
rather than
drink
water
which is
going
to
cost
them so much
trouble
. Their
strength
has
come
to an end; their
courage
has
failed
them; and, though some of them are
strong
enough to
conquer
their
second
enemies
as well as their first, when they
meet
the
third
group
their
strength
comes
to an end, though perhaps they are only a
couple
of
steps
from the
fountain
of
living
water
, of which the
Lord
said
to the
Samaritan
woman
that
whosoever
drinks
of it shall not
thirst
again.
61
How
right
and how very
true
is that which
comes
from the
lips
of
Truth
Himself! In this
life
the
soul
will never
thirst
for anything more, although its
thirst
for
things
in the
life
to
come
will
exceed
any
natural
thirst
that we can
imagine
here below. How the
soul
thirsts
to
experience
this
thirst
! For it
knows
how very
precious
it is, and,
grievous
though it be and
exhausting
, it
creates
the very
satisfaction
by which this
thirst
is
allayed
. It is therefore a
thirst
which
quenches
nothing but
desire
for
earthly
things
, and, when
God
slakes
it,
satisfies
in such a
way
that one of the
greatest
favours
He can
bestow
on the
soul
is to
leave
it with this
longing
, so that it has an even
greater
desire
to
drink
of this
water
again.
Water
has
three
properties
--
three
relevant
properties
which I can
remember
, that is to
say
, for it must have many more. One of them is that of
cooling
things
; however
hot
we are,
water
tempers
the
heat
, and it will even
put
out a
large
fire
, except when there is
tar
in the
fire
, in which
case
, they
say
, it only
burns
the more.
God
help
me! What a
marvellous
thing
it is that, when this
fire
is
strong
and
fierce
and
subject
to none of the
elements
,
water
should make it
grow
fiercer
, and, though its
contrary
element
, should not
quench
it but only
cause
it to
burn
the more! It would be very
useful
to be
able
to
discuss
this with someone who
understands
philosophy
; if I
knew
the
properties
of
things
I could
explain
it myself; but, though I
love
thinking
about it, I cannot
explain
it -- perhaps I do not even
understand
it.
You will be
glad
,
sisters
, if
God
grants
you to
drink
of this
water
, as are those who
drink
of it now, and you will
understand
how a
genuine
love
of
God
, if it is
really
strong
, and
completely
free
from
earthly
things
, and
able
to
rise
above them, is
master
of all the
elements
and of the whole
world
. And, as
water
proceeds
from the
earth
, there is no
fear
of its
quenching
this
fire
, which is the
love
of
God
; though the
two
elements
are
contraries
, it has no
power
over it. The
fire
is
absolute
master
, and
subject
to nothing. You will not be
surprised
, then,
sisters
, at the
way
I have
insisted
in this
book
that you should
strive
to
obtain
this
freedom
. Is it not a
funny
thing
that a
poor
little
nun
of
Saint
Joseph
's should
attain
mastery
over the whole
earth
and all the
elements
? What
wonder
that the
saints
did as they
pleased
with them by the
help
of
God
?
Fire
and
water
obeyed
Saint
Martin
; even
birds
and
fishes
were
obedient
to
Saint
Francis
; and
similarly
with many other
saints
.
Helped
as they were by
God
, and themselves
doing
all that was in their
power
, they could almost have
claimed
this as a
right
. It was
clear
that they were
masters
over everything in the
world
, because they had
striven
so
hard
to
despise
it and
subjected
themselves to the
Lord
of the
world
with all their might. So, as I
say
, the
water
, which
springs
from the
earth
, has no
power
over this
fire
. Its
flames
rise
high
and its
source
is in nothing so
base
as the
earth
. There are other
fires
of
love
for
God
--
small
ones
, which
may
be
quenched
by the least
little
thing
. But this
fire
will most
certainly
not be so
quenched
.
62
Even should a whole
sea
of
temptations
assail
it, they will not
keep
it from
burning
or
prevent
it from
gaining
the
mastery
over them.
Water
which
comes
down as
rain
from
Heaven
will
quench
the
flames
even less, for in that
case
the
fire
and the
water
are not
contraries
, but have the same
origin
. Do not
fear
that the one
element
may
harm
the other; each
helps
the other and they
produce
the same
effect
. For the
water
of
genuine
tears
-- that is,
tears
which
come
from
true
prayer
-- is a
good
gift
from the
King
of
Heaven
; it
fans
the
flames
and
keeps
them
alight
, while the
fire
helps
to
cool
the
water
.
God
bless
me! What a
beautiful
and
wonderful
thing
it is that
fire
should
cool
water
! But it does; and it even
freezes
all
worldly
affections
, when it is
combined
with the
living
water
which
comes
from
Heaven
, the
source
of the
above-mentioned
tears
, which are
given
us, and not
acquired
by our
diligence
.
Certainly
, then, nothing
worldly
has
warmth
enough
left
in it to
induce
us to
cling
to it unless it is something which
increases
this
fire
, the
nature
of which is not to be
easily
satisfied
, but, if
possible
, to
enkindle
the
entire
world
.
The
second
property
of
water
is that it
cleanses
things
that are not
clean
already. What would become of the
world
if there were no
water
for
washing
? Do you
know
what
cleansing
properties
there are in this
living
water
, this
heavenly
water
, this
clear
water
, when it is
unclouded
, and
free
from
mud
, and
comes
down from
Heaven
? Once the
soul
has
drunk
of it I am
convinced
that it makes it
pure
and
clean
of all its
sins
; for, as I have
written
,
God
does not
allow
us to
drink
of this
water
of
perfect
contemplation
whenever we like: the
choice
is not ours; this
Divine
union
is something
quite
supernatural
,
given
that it
may
cleanse
the
soul
and
leave
it
pure
and
free
from the
mud
and
misery
in which it has been
plunged
because of its
sins
. Other
consolations
,
excellent
as they
may
be, which
come
through the
intermediacy
of the
understanding
, are like
water
running
all over the
ground
. This cannot be
drunk
directly
from the
source
; and its
course
is never
free
from
clogging
impurities
, so that it is neither so
pure
nor so
clean
as the other. I should not
say
that this
prayer
I have been
describing
, which
comes
from
reasoning
with the
intellect
, is
living
water
-- I
mean
so
far
as my
understanding
of it
goes
. For,
despite
our
efforts
, there is always something
clinging
to the
soul
, through the
influence
of the
body
and of the
baseness
of our
nature
, which we should
prefer
not to be there.
I will
explain
myself further. We are
meditating
on the
nature
of the
world
, and on the
way
in which everything will
come
to an end, so that we
may
learn
to
despise
it, when, almost without
noticing
it, we
find
ourselves
ruminating
on
things
in the
world
that we
love
. We
try
to
banish
these
thoughts
, but we cannot
help
being
slightly
distracted
by
thinking
of
things
that have
happened
, or will
happen
, of
things
we have done and of
things
we are
going
to do. Then we begin to
think
of how we can
get
rid
of these
thoughts
; and that sometimes
plunges
us once again into the same
danger
. It is not that we
ought
to
omit
such
meditations
; but we
need
to
retain
our
misgivings
about them and not to
grow
careless
. In
contemplation
the
Lord
Himself
relieves
us of this
care
, for He will not
trust
us to
look
after ourselves. So
dearly
does He
love
our
souls
that He
prevents
them from
rushing
into
things
which
may
do them
harm
just
at this
time
when He is
anxious
to
help
them. So He
calls
them to His
side
at once, and in a
single
moment
reveals
more
truths
to them and
gives
them a
clearer
insight
into the
nature
of everything than they could otherwise
gain
in many
years
. For our
sight
is
poor
and the
dust
which we
meet
on the
road
blinds
us; but in
contemplation
the
Lord
brings
us to the end of the
day
's
journey
without our
understanding
how.
The
third
property
of
water
is that it
satisfies
and
quenches
thirst
.
Thirst
, I
think
,
means
the
desire
for something which is very
necessary
for us -- so
necessary
that if we have none of it we shall
die
. It is a
strange
thing
that if we have no
water
we
die
, and that we can also
lose
our
lives
through
having
too much of it, as
happens
to many
people
who
get
drowned
.
Oh
, my
Lord
, if only one could be
plunged
so
deeply
into this
living
water
that one's
life
would end! Can that be? Yes: this
love
and
desire
for
God
can
increase
so much that
human
nature
is
unable
to
bear
it, and so there have been
persons
who have
died
of it. I
knew
one
person
63
who had this
living
water
in such
great
abundance
that she would almost have been
drawn
out of herself by
raptures
if
God
had not
quickly
succoured
her. She had such a
thirst
, and her
desire
grew
so
greatly
, that she
realized
clearly
that she might
quite
possibly
die
of
thirst
if something were not done for her. I
say
that she would almost have been
drawn
out of herself because in this
state
the
soul
is in
repose
. So
intolerable
does such a
soul
find
the
world
that it seems to be
overwhelmed
,
64
but it
comes
to
life
again in
God
; and in this
way
His
Majesty
enables
it to
enjoy
experiences
which, if it had
remained
within itself, would
perforce
have
cost
it its
life
.
Let it be
understood
from this that, as there can be nothing in our
supreme
Good
which is not
perfect
, all that He
gives
is for our
welfare
; and, however
abundant
this
water
which He
gives
may
be, in nothing that He
gives
can there be
superfluity
. For, if His
gift
is
abundant
, He also
bestows
on the
soul
, as I have
said
, an
abundant
capacity
for
drinking
;
just
as a
glassmaker
moulds
his
vessels
to the
size
he
thinks
necessary
, so that there is
room
for what he
wishes
to
pour
into them. As our
desires
for this
water
come
from ourselves, they are never
free
from
fault
; any
good
that there
may
be in them
comes
from the
help
of the
Lord
. But we are so
indiscreet
that, as the
pain
is
sweet
and
pleasant
, we
think
we can never have too much of it. We have an
immeasurable
longing
for it,
65
and, so
far
as is
possible
on
earth
, we
stimulate
this
longing
: sometimes this
goes
so
far
as to
cause
death
. How
happy
is such a
death
! And yet by
living
one might perhaps have
helped
others to
die
of the
desire
for it. I
believe
the
devil
has something to do with this:
knowing
how much
harm
we can do him by
living
, he
tempts
us to be
indiscreet
in our
penances
and so to
ruin
our
health
, which is a
matter
of no
small
moment
to him.
I
advise
anyone who
attains
to an
experience
of this
fierce
thirst
to
watch
herself
carefully
, for I
think
she will have to
contend
with this
temptation
. She
may
not
die
of her
thirst
, but her
health
will be
ruined
, and she will
involuntarily
give
her
feelings
outward
expression
, which
ought
at all
costs
to be
avoided
. Sometimes, however, all our
diligence
in this
respect
is
unavailing
and we are
unable
to
hide
our
emotions
as much as we should like. Whenever we are
assailed
by these
strong
impulses
stimulating
the
increase
of our
desire
, let us
take
great
care
not to
add
to them ourselves but to
check
them
gently
66
by
thinking
of something else. For our own
nature
may
be
playing
as
great
a
part
in
producing
these
feelings
as our
love
. There are some
people
of this
type
who have
keen
desires
for all
kinds
of
things
, even for
bad
things
, but I do not
think
such
people
can have
achieved
great
mortification
, for
mortification
is always
profitable
. It seems
foolish
to
check
so
good
a
thing
as this
desire
, but it is not. I am not
saying
that the
desire
should be
uprooted
-- only
checked
; one
may
be
able
to do this by
stimulating
some other
desire
which is
equally
praiseworthy
.
In
order
to
explain
myself
better
I will
give
an
illustration
. A
man
has a
great
desire
to be with
God
, as
Saint
Paul
had, and to be
loosed
from this
prison
.
67
This
causes
him
pain
which yet is in itself a
great
joy
, and no
small
degree
of
mortification
will be
needed
if he is to
check
it -- in
fact
, he will not always be
able
to do so. But when he
finds
it
oppressing
him so much he
may
almost
lose
his
reason
. I
saw
this
happen
to someone not
long
ago
; she was of an
impetuous
nature
, but so
accustomed
to
curbing
her own will that, from what I had
seen
at other
times
, I
thought
her will was
completely
annihilated
; yet, when I
saw
her for a
moment
, the
great
stress
and
strain
caused
by her
efforts
to
hide
her
feelings
had all but
destroyed
her
reason
.
68
In such an
extreme
case
, I
think
, even did the
desire
come
from the
Spirit
of
God
, it would be
true
humility
to be
afraid
; for we must not
imagine
that we have
sufficient
charity
to
bring
us to such a
state
of
oppression
.
I shall not
think
it at all
wrong
(if it be
possible
, I
mean
, for it
may
not always be so) for us to
change
our
desire
by
reflecting
that, if we
live
, we have more
chance
of
serving
God
, and that we might do this by
giving
light
to some
soul
which otherwise would be
lost
; as well as that, if we
serve
Him more, we shall
deserve
to
enjoy
Him more, and
grieve
that we have
served
Him so
little
. These are
consolations
appropriate
to such
great
trials
: they will
allay
our
pain
and we shall
gain
a
great
deal
by them if in
order
to
serve
the
Lord
Himself we are
willing
to
spend
a
long
time
here below and to
live
with our
grief
. It is as if a
person
were
suffering
a
great
trial
or a
grievous
affliction
and we
consoled
him by
telling
him to have
patience
and
leave
himself in
God
's
hands
so that His will might be
fulfilled
in him: it is always
best
to
leave
ourselves in
God
's
hands
.
And what if the
devil
had anything to do with these
strong
desires
? This might be
possible
, as I
think
is
suggested
in
Cassian
's
story
of a
hermit
,
leading
the
austerest
of
lives
, who was
persuaded
by the
devil
to
throw
himself down a well so that he might
see
God
the
sooner
.
69
I do not
think
this
hermit
can have
served
God
either
humbly
or
efficiently
, for the
Lord
is
faithful
and His
Majesty
would never
allow
a
servant
of His to be
blinded
in a
matter
in which the
truth
was so
clear
. But, of
course
, if the
desire
had
come
from
God
, it would have done the
hermit
no
harm
; for such
desires
bring
with them
illumination
,
moderation
and
discretion
. This is
fitting
, but our
enemy
and
adversary
seeks
to
harm
us wherever he can; and, as he is not
unwatchful
, we must not be so either. This is an
important
matter
in many
respects
: for
example
, we must
shorten
our
time
of
prayer
, however much
joy
it
gives
us, if we
see
our
bodily
strength
waning
or
find
that our
head
aches
:
discretion
is most
necessary
in everything.
Why do you
suppose
,
daughters
, that I have
tried
, as
people
say
, to
describe
the end of the
battle
before it has
begun
and to
point
to its
reward
by
telling
you about the
blessing
which
comes
from
drinking
of the
heavenly
source
of this
living
water
? I have done this so that you
may
not be
distressed
at the
trials
and
annoyances
of the
road
, and
may
tread
it with
courage
and not
grow
weary
; for, as I have
said
, it
may
be that, when you have
arrived
, and have only to
stoop
and
drink
of the
spring
, you
may
fail
to do so and
lose
this
blessing
,
thinking
that you have not the
strength
to
attain
it and that it is not for you.
Remember
, the
Lord
invites
us all; and, since He is
Truth
Itself, we cannot
doubt
Him. If His
invitation
were not a
general
one, He would not have
said
: "I will
give
you to
drink
." He might have
said
: "
Come
, all of you, for after all you will
lose
nothing by
coming
; and I will
give
drink
to those whom I
think
fit
for it." But, as He
said
we were all to
come
, without
making
this
condition
, I
feel
sure
that none will
fail
to
receive
this
living
water
unless they cannot
keep
to the
path
.
70
May
the
Lord
, Who
promises
it,
give
us
grace
, for His
Majesty
's own
sake
, to
seek
it as it must be
sought
.
57
Lit
.: "so many
days
."
58
Lit
.: "It will have to
go
as it
comes
out."
59
St
Teresa
is
probably
referring
to the
treatises
of
Luis
de
Granada
and
St
.
Peter
of
Alc
‡
ntara
(S.
S.M
,
1
,
40
-
52
,
II
,
106
-
20
).
Cf
.
Constitutions
(
Vol
.
III
,
p
.
236
, below).
60
Lit
.: "of his
doing
something on (the
horse
) which is not
graceful
."
61
St
.
John
iv
,
13
.
62
Lit
.: "But this one -- no, no."
63
The
author
probably
refers
to herself:
Cf
.
Life
,
CHAPTER
XX
, and
Relations
,
passim
.
64
Lit
.: "
drowned
."
65
Lit
.: "We
eat
it without
measure
."
66
Lit
.: "to
cut
the
thread
."
67
Presumably
a
reminiscence
of
Romans
vii
,
24
or
Philippians
i,
23
.
68
This, too, is
generally
taken
as
referring
to
St
.
Teresa
herself.
69
Cassian
:
Conferences
,
II
.
v
.
70
E
.
ends
the
CHAPTER
here. This
final
paragraph
appears
to be
based
upon
St
.
John
vii
,
37
.
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