It starts with inner softness, acceptance and pliability. We become open to people and situations around us. If we retain our own ideas and viewpoints, continually liking or disliking the same areas of life, we are not sensitive to our inner reactions. Softness, acceptance and pliability may result in a great deal of pain, but that's part of practice. But because it's painful, it's often rejected. Surely that is the wrong way of dealing with ourselves. If we break a leg and don't want to have it set because that is painful, it would mean limping for the rest of our lives. This is equivalent to looking for a lifelong anesthetic which dulls all awareness and keeps us in a semi-awake state.