3.1- Two certainties

The choice for virginity is not a heroic choice, nor strange: it is a choice made possible by a heart that has discovered it has been abundantly loved from always and for always, and has experienced, in turn, that it is capable of loving Him also, for ever. These are the two certainties which, on the psychological plane, spell affective freedom for a person.

The pedagogy of the choice for virginity passes through these two certainties, or tries to accompany the person to acquire them, because without them no choice in that direction would be possible or credible.  Only those can consecrate themselves authentically in virginity who discover that…they cannot do without it, those who are convinced that the gift of self to God and others is the least they can do, in face of the great love received.  As if to say: it is a choice that is obligatory and also free, humble and discreet as well as generous and total, full of gratitude even before it is fully gratuitous.

I am deeply convinced that if we were able, as educators, to arouse these two certainties in the hearts of many young people, if we were able to help them recover the truth of their life (because, actually all have been loved and able to love), surely there could also be many more who would choose virginity.  At one time there was the psychology of the hero; today there’s a wave of complaining and the psychology of complaints, so that, in this society of wealth in which everything is owed to one, and which has taken away the freedom of enjoying the good received and marvel in it and be grateful for it, everybody thinks they have the right to complain about someone or something that didn’t go in the right direction in their past life.

The choice for virginity is a happy choice, not a complaining choice.  The choice of one who, being sure of already having been loved, is open to being loved even more by God and by the neighbor.  One who complains is not free to let himself be loved, because it will never be enough for him, and he will always have something to complain about.  One who complains (whines), therefore, will never be able to be virgin (celibate).  Because virginity is not only a self-giving and sacrificial love, but it is also the maximum of freedom to let the self be loved and enjoy the slightest sign of affection.  This, also, must be recalled to the young person.  So that love is not presented in a contradictory and discouraging way, and so that his joy will be full…

It could seem paradoxical;  and yet, here the Paschal perspective becomes central.