Cultural Differences

5. Generally we accept the fact that we are culturally different among ourselves and take pains to learn the differing norms of external etiquette. We make a deep bow in Tokyo, offer a namaste (joined hands) in Delhi, and hug and pat on the back in Rome to express our sentiments of love and respect. But it is only when, going beyond external courtesies, we develop an awareness of the subtle and unexpressed sensitivities of different people and to the culturally distinct ways in which they share their thoughts and express their feelings, do we begin to make our way through the unassailable fortress of a closed world, and get access to the secret rules and inner working of another type of mind.

6. Similarly, only through intelligent interaction with people of other cultures do we acquire a measure of cultural self-awareness. We begin to realize, for example, that, when we are trying to emphasize a point in discussion, our speech and gesticulations may look to a person of another culture arrogant, our silence a sign of indifference, our exuberance an expression of immaturity, our cheerful exclamations an effort to hide hollowness in thought and absence of content. In other people’s eyes, a legitimate form of self-assertion may look aggressive. Too many and too personal questions may be taken, not as our concern but as excessive interference.

7. In pastoral contexts, we may find that for one community barefoot entry into the church, prostrations, touching of statues, kissing and other demonstrative expressions are important. For members of another community, leaving the shoes outside is ridiculous, various forms sentimental piety mawkish, squatting on the floor demeaning. For one community, black may be a sign of celebration and white a colour of mourning.

8. Devotions and decorations, colours and sounds are at one level of a person’s consciousness, life and relationship at another. The manner in which children relate with their parents, younger members relate with their elders, boys mix with girls, the way they all show respect to a teacher or a religious person, will differ according to the tradition of each community. If we are not able to read cultural signals, we may take offense quite unnecessarily or give offense quite unconsciously. What appears to one community as respectful and dignified may appear cold and reserved to another. What looks to one as self-confident and expansive may look to another provocative an intruding. Nodding ‘yea’ may mean ‘nay’.