Marriage
The Trinitarian mystery
of unity in diversity applies not only to the doctrine of the Church
but to the doctrine of
marriage. Man is made in the image of the Trinity, and except in special
cases he is not intended
by God to live alone, but in a family. And just as God blessed the first
family, commanding Adam
and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, so the Church today gives its
blessing to the union of
man and woman. Marriage is not only a state of nature but a state of
grace. Married life, no
less than the life of a monk, is a special vocation, requiring a particular
gift or charisma from
the Holy Spirit; and this gift is conferred in the sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
The Marriage Service is
divided into two parts, formerly held separately but now celebrated
in immediate succession:
the preliminary Office of Betrothal, and the Office of Crowning,
which
constitutes the
sacrament proper. At the Betrothal service the chief ceremony is the blessing
and
exchange of rings; this
is an outward token that the two partners join in marriage of their own
free will and consent,
for without free consent on both sides there can be no sacrament of Christian
marriage. The second
part of the service culminates in the ceremony of coronation: on the
heads of the bridegroom
and bride the priest places crowns, made among the Greeks of leaves
and flowers, but among
the Russians of silver or gold. This, the outward and visible sign of the
sacrament, signifies the
special grace which the couple receive from the Holy Spirit, before they
set out to found a new
family or domestic Church. The crowns are crowns of joy, but they are
also crowns of
martyrdom, since every true marriage involves an immeasurable self-sacrifice on
both sides. At the end
of the service the newly married couple drink from the same cup of wine,
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which recalls the
miracle at the marriage feast of Cana in Galilee: this common cup is a symbol
of the fact that
henceforward they will share a common life with one another.
The Orthodox Church
permits divorce and remarriage, quoting as its authority the text of
Matthew 19:9, where Our
Lord says: “If a man divorces his wife, for any cause other than unchastity,
and marries another, he
commits adultery.” Since Christ allowed an exception to His
general ruling about the
indissolubility of marriage, the Orthodox Church also is willing to allow
an exception. Certainly
Orthodoxy regards the marriage bond as in principle lifelong and indissoluble,
and it condemns the
breakdown of marriage as a sin and an evil. But while condemning
the sin, the Church
still desires to help the sinners and to allow them a second chance. When,
therefore, a marriage
has entirely ceased to be a reality, the Orthodox Church does not insist on
the preservation of a
legal fiction. Divorce is seen as an exceptional but necessary concession to
human sin; it is an act
of oikonomia (‘economy’ or dispensation) and of philanthropia (loving
kindness). Yet although
assisting men and women to rise again after a fall, the Orthodox Church
knows that a second alliance
can never be the same as the first; and so in the service for a second
marriage several of the
joyful ceremonies are omitted, and replaced by penitential prayers.
Orthodox Canon Law,
while permitting a second or even a third marriage, absolutely forbids
a fourth. In theory the
Canons only permit divorce in cases of adultery, but in practice it is
sometimes granted for
other reasons as well.
One point must be
clearly understood: from the point of view of Orthodox theology a divorce
granted by the State in
the civil courts is not sufficient. Remarriage in church is only possible
if the Church
authorities have themselves granted a divorce.
The use of
contraceptives and other devices for birth control is on the whole strongly
discouraged
in the Orthodox Church.
Some bishops and theologians altogether condemn the employment
of such methods. Others,
however, have recently begun to adopt a less strict position,
and urge that the
question is best left to the discretion of each individual couple, in
consultation
with the spiritual
father.
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