In the theology of the Orthodox
Church man is made in the Image of the Most-holy Trinity, and, except in
certain special cases (such as monasticism, for example), he is not intended by
God to live alone, but in a family situation. Just as God blessed the first
humans, Adam and Eve, to live as a family, to be fruitful and multiply, so too
the Church blesses the union of a man and a woman. Marriage, however, is not a
state of nature, but is rather a state of grace, and married life is a special
vocation (no less than the special calling of monasticism), requiring a gift or
charism from the Holy Spirit — this gift being conferred in the Sacrament of
Holy Matrimony.
That Holy Matrimony has divine
sanction comes no less from the words of the Lord Himself, Who says: Have you not
read that He Who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and
said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and the two shall become one flesh' [Gen. 2:24]. So they are no
longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man
put asunder (Matt. 19:5-6).
The Holy Apostle Paul sees this
mystical union of husband and wife as reflecting the mystical union of Christ
with His Church: Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Church, His
body.... Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself
up for her.... Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He
who loves his wife loves himself. For no man ever hates his own flesh, but
nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the Church, because we are members
of His body.... This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers
to Christ and the Church... (Eph. 5:22-25, 28-30, 32).
The Sacrament of Holy Matrimony
consists of two parts: Betrothal and Crowning. The Betrothal is, in some way,
the civil act, sanctified by the blessing of the Church. It sanctifies the
intention of two persons to enter into the martial union and reflects Old
Testament customs, when on those who had expressed their intentions to marry,
rings were placed. This exchange of rings in the Office of Betrothal is an
outward token that the two partners join in marriage of their own free will and
consent, for without free consent on both sides there can be no Sacrament of
Christian marriage.
The Office of Crowning also contains
an Old Testament element in the crowning itself, which reflects the ancient
practice of placing crowns on the heads of the betrothed. This is the outward
and visible sign of the Sacrament, signifying the special grace of the Holy
Spirit received by the couple. These crowns are crowns of joy and martyrdom —
joy for the new union and martyrdom since every true marriage involves
immeasurable self-sacrifice on both sides.
In the Greek Churches, the crowns
are usually made of leaves and flowers, while in the Russian Church they
are usually made of silver or gold. Customarily in the Russian Church the
crowns are held over the couples' heads by the best man and maid of honor, but
in many places (as in Romania, for example) they are actually worn by the bride
and groom.
The Gospel for the day contains the
account of the Wedding in Cana in Galilee (John 2:1-11). The blessing, given by God to man in Paradise was renewed by Christ
in the New Testament, when, at the beginning of His ministry, He performed the
miracle of changing water into wine. Thus, at the end of the Marriage Service
the newly-married couple drink from the same cup of wine, which recalls this
miracle of Our Lord. The common cup here is also a symbol that henceforth they
will share a common life with one another.
The Holy Orthodox Church does,
however, permit divorce and remarriage, quoting as her authority the words of
the Savior: For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives,
but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: Whoever divorces his
wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery (Matt.
19:8-9). Here Our Lord allows an exception to the indissolubility of marriage,
and so, too, the Church is willing to allow an exception.
While in principle the church
regards the marriage bond as lifelong and indissoluble, and condemns the
breakdown of marriage as a sin and an evil, she still desires to help the
sinners and to allow them a second chance. Thus, when a marriage has ceased to
be a reality, the Church does not insist on the preservation of a legal
fiction. Divorce, therefore, is seen as an exceptional, but necessary
concession to human weakness. Yet, while helping men and women to rise again
after a fall, the Church does not view a second or third union as being the
same as the first and thus, in the ceremony for a second or third marriage, several
joyful ceremonies are omitted and replaced by penitential prayers. Orthodox
Canon Law permits a second or third marriage, but more than that is strictly
forbidden.
There are certain times during the
year when the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony may not be celebrated. These are:
On the Eves of Wednesdays and Fridays throughout the year.
On the Eves of Sundays throughout the year.
On the Eves of the Twelve Great Feasts, patronal feasts of the
parish or monastery, and other great feasts.
In all of the Fasts (Great Lent, Apostles' Fast, Dormition Fast
and Nativity Fast).
From the Nativity of Christ (Dec. 25) through the Synaxis of
the Baptist (Jan. 7).
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During the course of Cheesefare Week (from Sunday of Meatfare
through the Sunday of Cheesefare).
During the course of Bright Week.
On the Day and the Eve of the Beheading of the Baptist (Aug.
29) and the Elevation of the Cross (Sept. 14).