Teachings on the Sanctity of Marriage and on Celibacy.

(Mat. 19:3-12; Luke 16:18).

Each time the Pharisees approached Jesus Christ with some kind of question, they did this not to learn but to “tempt” Him, in the hope that He may be blamed for saying something contrary to the law. Here they too asked Him: “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” This was a subject that was a source of arguments among the Pharisees and the public. Some — the followers of the teachings of Rabbi Gillel — were saying that you could divorce for any reason, while others — followers of Rabbi Shamai, insisted that you could divorce only on the grounds of adultery. The Pharisees were waiting to see who would be favored by the Lord’s reply, so that they could provoke the losing side against Him.

According to the law of Moses (Deut. 24:1), it is permissible to give a wife a divorce bill, “if she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some unseemly thing in her.” Showing no signs of disagreement from the thoughts expressed by the rabbis, the Lord points out from the Gospel, God’s image of husband and wife, and through this, reveals the true purpose of marriage as a God-established institution, thereby resolving the enticing question. God created one man and one woman: consequently the Creator’s intention was for the man to have and stay with one wife. This marital bond is closer and tighter than the blood-ties of a son with his father and mother, who he leaves for the sake of his wife: two people become as one, in thoughts, feelings, aims, actions — they have to be one substance. And if through God’s initial determination, they are united in such a way, they should not be separated. There can only be one exception permitting divorce: “sexual immorality.” This is because adultery in itself destroys the matrimonial concept, and the marriage as such, ceases to exist.

Because of “hardness of your hearts,” which resulted in husbands tormenting and maltreating their unloved wives, Moses permitted divorce i.e. allowed a minor evil, in order to avoid a major one. Christ re-establishes the initial law of marriage, confirming its inviolability. Confused by such a demand, the disciples said: “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry,” i.e. it’s better not to enter into marriage at all, than having married, endure a malicious and antagonistic wife without an option of sending her away. The Lord corrects His disciple’s flippant conclusion with His answer. He confirms that on the one hand “it is better not to marry,” while on the other, He points out that being unmarried, coupled with preserving your virginity, is not only harder than being in a married state, but is so difficult and heavy that not everybody can undertake such a feat: “all cannot accept this” i.e. to pick up and carry it, “but only those to whom it has been given.”

With these words, the Lord elevates virginity to such a high moral level, where the highest and most complete state of spiritual life can be found, and which is much better than any human can master. His presentations are always as a precious gift from the Heavenly Father (for example, see: intellection on the mysteries of God’s Kingdom, Mat. 13:11: faith of Peter16:17 and many others). At the same time, it doesn’t mean that this gift from God doesn’t depend on our personal will. Saint John Chrysostom states that it is given to those who seek it. Those entering the ordeal of virginity, have a great need of God’s help and receive it — provided they seek it conscientiously.

Further on, the Lord compares virginity to voluntary eunuchism, which of course shouldn’t be understood literally — in a crude physical sense — as can be seen in its total concept. This eunuchism is not physical, but spiritual. The Lord contrasts this specifically to the physical eunuchism when He states: “There are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men.” It cannot be said of them that they had undertaken the ordeal of virginity, because by their very physical nature, they are incapable of having a married life. To distort yourself for the sake of the Heavenly Kingdom, to become a eunuch, means to sever all carnal desires. It is to kill internal physical lusts and resolve to lead an unwed life for the sake of a more favorable service to God, and to attain the Kingdom of Heaven. Family responsibilities present themselves as great impediments to this. “He who is able to accept it, let him accept it” — no one is compelled to take up this ordeal, but those who feel strong enough to accept this, should do so. As Saint Chrysostom states: “With these words, the Lord showed the complete possibility of achieving this virtue, and through them, stimulate the desire in people to achieve this.”