19. Sins Against One’s Neighbour.

Ask the person confessing whether his conscience does not accuse him either of some

crude outrage or insult against his parents or else of constantly offending them in small

ways. Let him not think that this is an everyday triviality in family life. The Lord said to

Moses, “He that curses his father or mother shall surely be put to death” (Ex. 21:16).

This death sentence for one who reviles his parents is confirmed by the Saviour as being

a commandment of God (Mt. 15:4; Mk. 7:10), although not in the sense of a criminal law

concerning the death penalty, but in the sense that it is a mortal sin. This then is what the

priest should say to an adolescent who is guilty of this: “When you grow older and,

perhaps, bury your parents, then, believe me, on remembering such occasions, even while

by yourself, you will blush from shame right up to your ears and wring your hands,

wishing in vain to make amends for the sin which now seems so insignificant to you. For,

although you cannot understand it now, when an insolent son or daughter grieves his

loving parents with malicious words or rude disobedience, it is like thrusting a sharp

knife into their breasts. You will understand this when you have your own children, but

then in all probability it will be too late to wipe out your guilt before your deceased

parents.” The same thing, or nearly so, is experienced by teachers when their pupils are

insolent to them; as a result of this, many become embittered and the sacred task of

teaching becomes a torment both for the teachers and for the pupils. However, it is much

easier for the latter to change this situation for the better, than it is for the former.

Guided by the desire to awaken or strengthen in the penitent a feeling of his guilt

before God, put questions to him about which he probably does not think, but which

reveal the wounds of his soul to him. To this end it is more profitable not to continue

your questions in the accepted order of sins against God, against one’s neighbour and

then against oneself, but rather to ask them in the order which is most likely to awaken

his conscience. You see, our contemporary flock has almost forgotten about its direct

relationship to God. What sense is there in asking a person about going to church

regularly or attention to prayer if he forgot the way to God’s church years ago, and never

so much as makes the sign of the cross in the morning or in the evening? “I am not used

to praying,” such people boldly answer, “but I live honorably and do no harm to anyone;

but there are many who pray to God and devour people.” If a spiritual father has managed

to dislodge a sinner from such a self-satisfied position by using the basic questions we

have indicated above, then let him thank God. However, it is still useful to continue

asking questions in the same order, according to the degree in which the conscience of

contemporary people is sensitive to them — i.e., first ask about sins against one’s

neighbour, then about sins against the Person of God and finally about sins which

derange the inner life of the sinner himself.

And so, if a Christian thinks that he has never offended his neighbour, tell him:

“That is good, but we must understand ‘offense’ not only in the sense of what makes a

person angry, but even more in the sense of what causes him harm. Thieves are strictly

punished by the law and despised by people, but man has pleasures that are far more

significant than money or things — his soul and his purity. Have you advised people to

do anything evil or depraved? Have you made fun of anyone’s chastity or modesty, or of

their obedience to their elders, their honesty at work or in their studies? When young

people lose their innocence, modesty and obedience to their parents and even their

honesty, it is always under the influence of bad examples and evil advice, but those who

have turned them away from the good path entirely forget about them and about the evil

they have done to them. They have sinned terribly before God, far worse than thieves and

robbers. But far more criminal are those who, not content with giving treacherous advice

when they are asked, also make efforts on their own initiative, sometimes over a

considerable period of time, to lure an innocent person into a sin from which he will

probably not be able to free himself for a long time, or even for his whole life. How many

such tempters there are in any school, who will not be content until they have dragged

their comrade into a public house or acquainted him with corrupt people. Nevertheless,

who does not know Christ’s words: ‘Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which

believe in Me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and

that he were drowned in the depth of the sea’ (Mt. 18:6)? So, haven’t you committed this

sin? Have you purposely sowed the seeds of doubt in your neighbor’s heart? Have you

made fun of his piety? Have you driven him away from prayer and church? Have you

sowed the seeds of discord between brothers, between husband and wife, between coworkers

or comrades? All those who do things like this will understand how far from the

truth is the prejudice that has long been commonplace in society — that prayer and

religion in general are the helpers and servants of the devil. The devil acquires great

power over them, since they have surrendered themselves to his will. The same fate

awaits those who sin by slandering their neighbour, either in conversation or in print; it

also awaits those who condemn their neighbours without being sure that they are guilty of

anything.

“Perhaps you have no opportunity to tempt or grieve your neighbor or lead him

into disaster, and do not even wish to do so, but nevertheless, if you find out that some

misfortune has befallen him, you glory over it rather than feel compassion for him. If this

is so, see how black your soul is, and what a dangerous path you are on, for the Scriptures

say that ‘Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer’ (1 John 3:15). But you are not

guilty of this — glory to God. However, are you not given up to remembrance of wrongs,

even if it is not expressed as a desire for revenge? According to the words of our Lord,

this makes your prayers quite worthless, and shows that your heart is filled with great

self-love and self-justification. You are guilty of the same thing if you have the spirit of

disobedience in the family, at school or at work; if you fulfill your obligations only when

you can be made to answer for them and find satisfaction in doing something your own

way. It was through this disobedience that sin came into the world, and it is precisely

from this that criminals begin their sinful exploits — guided always by the spirit of selfjustification.

This demonic spirit leads them through the following steps: disobedience,

laziness, deception, outrages against their parents, seeking sensual enjoyment, theft,

rejecting the fear of God, leaving their father’s house, robbery and murder and denial of

the faith itself. When the person confessing hangs down his head, and you hear the voice

of penitence in his speech and also that he is frightened by his sins, then tell him that

these evil feelings of disobedience and especially of remembering wrongs and gloating

over others’ misfortunes, grow up in a soul which likes to condemn everyone. This is

sinful because a feeling of pleasure at other’s shortcomings always develops together

with the habit of judging people without need. After this comes the desire not to

recognize anything good in them, and this is already near to gloating over their

misfortunes and even nearer to remembering wrongs. In secular or worldly society all this

is considered praiseworthy — people openly make fun of obedience, or even become

indignant at the very mention of it, expecting, on the contrary, that every subordinate,

every soldier, workman, official and especially every professor should demand freedom

upon freedom. This is expected especially of students and even of school boys. This spirit

has even moved into the country and the parish, and even into the family, where only a

strong paternal hand and the threat of being thrown out or of hunger can uphold that

small amount of order that is left, which still protects the home from destruction. The last

two yearsxxxix have shown where this foul teaching of self-will has led. Not to mention

the fact that people have become villains almost to a man, they are also dying of

starvation, going about in ragged clothes, are deprived of the possibility of studying and

communicating with each other by letter — in a word, they have returned to the state of

savages. How, through what struggle did our Saviour lead people out of their former life

and make them righteous and intelligent? Through obedience! ‘Through the obedience of

one, many were justified.’xl And even up to our days the highest form of piety,

monasticism, consists primarily of obedience.

“And so, young Christian,” the priest will say, “if you wish to be a good,

intelligent person and not just a stupid sheep, another member of the flock, then do not

agree with the crowd of your contemporaries who are perishing spiritually and

physically, do not go by the path of self-will, but by the path of obedience. Only then will

you be a person; then, perhaps, of your many comrades you alone will not be a syphilitic

at the end of your studies, will preserve your faith and your heart uncoarsened; truthful in

word and honorable in soul, you will not be battered and storm-beaten like a weather

vane, as are the majority of our contemporaries. But now you must know that, as you

have admitted, you have already sinned much against God, and I am glad to see that you

are filled with grief at the picture of your not insignificant sins, which have now been

revealed to you and about which you probably did not even think previously.”