CHAPTER VIII

Tricks and farces of the embryo long robe

Ten days later, Oscar was taken by Monsieur Moreau to Maitre

Desroches, solicitor, recently established in the rue de Bethisy, in a

vast apartment at the end of a narrow court-yard, for which he was

paying a relatively low price.

Desroches, a young man twenty-six years of age, born of poor parents,

and brought up with extreme severity by a stern father, had himself

known the condition in which Oscar now was. Accordingly, he felt an

interest in him, but the sort of interest which alone he could take,

checked by the apparent harshness that characterized him. The aspect

of this gaunt young man, with a muddy skin and hair cropped like a

clothes-brush, who was curt of speech and possessed a piercing eye and

a gloomy vivaciousness, terrified the unhappy Oscar.

"We work here day and night," said the lawyer, from the depths of his

armchair, and behind a table on which were papers, piled up like Alps.

"Monsieur Moreau, we won't kill him; but he'll have to go at our pace.

Monsieur Godeschal!" he called out.

Though the day was Sunday, the head-clerk appeared, pen in hand.

"Monsieur Godeschal, here's the pupil of whom I spoke to you. Monsieur

Moreau takes the liveliest interest in him. He will dine with us and

sleep in the small attic next to your chamber. You will allot the

exact time it takes to go to the law-school and back, so that he does

not lose five minutes on the way. You will see that he learns the Code

and is proficient in his classes; that is to say, after he has done

his work here, you will give him authors to read. In short, he is to

be under your immediate direction, and I shall keep an eye on it. They

want to make him what you have made yourself, a capable head-clerk,

against the time when he can take such a place himself. Go with

Monsieur Godeschal, my young friend; he'll show you your lodging, and

you can settle down in it. Did you notice Godeschal?" continued

Desroches, speaking to Moreau. "There's a fellow who, like me, has

nothing. His sister Mariette, the famous danseuse, is laying up her

money to buy him a practice in ten years. My clerks are young blades

who have nothing but their ten fingers to rely upon. So we all, my

five clerks and I, work as hard as a dozen ordinary fellows. But in

ten years I'll have the finest practice in Paris. In my office,

business and clients are a passion, and that's beginning to make

itself felt. I took Godeschal from Derville, where he was only just

made second clerk. He gets a thousand francs a year from me, and food

and lodging. But he's worth it; he is indefatigable. I love him, that

fellow! He has managed to live, as I did when a clerk, on six hundred

francs a year. What I care for above all is honesty, spotless

integrity; and when it is practised in such poverty as that, a man's a

man. For the slightest fault of that kind a clerk leaves my office."

"The lad is in a good school," thought Moreau.

For two whole years Oscar lived in the rue de Bethisy, a den of

pettifogging; for if ever that superannuated expression was applicable

to a lawyer's office, it was so in this case. Under this supervision,

both petty and able, he was kept to his regular hours and to his work

with such rigidity that his life in the midst of Paris was that of a

monk.

At five in the morning, in all weathers, Godeschal woke up. He went

down with Oscar to the office, where they always found their master up

and working. Oscar then did the errands of the office and prepared his

lessons for the law-school,--and prepared them elaborately; for

Godeschal, and frequently Desroches himself, pointed out to their

pupil authors to be looked through and difficulties to overcome. He

was not allowed to leave a single section of the Code until he had

thoroughly mastered it to the satisfaction of his chief and Godeschal,

who put him through preliminary examinations more searching and longer

than those of the law-school. On his return from his classes, where he

was kept but a short time, he went to his work in the office;

occasionally he was sent to the Palais, but always under the thumb of

the rigid Godeschal, till dinner. The dinner was that of his master,--

one dish of meat, one of vegetables, and a salad. The dessert

consisted of a piece of Gruyere cheese. After dinner, Godeschal and

Oscar returned to the office and worked till night. Once a month Oscar

went to breakfast with his uncle Cardot, and he spent the Sundays with

his mother. From time to time Moreau, when he came to the office about

his own affairs, would take Oscar to dine in the Palais-Royal, and to

some theatre in the evening. Oscar had been so snubbed by Godeschal

and by Desroches for his attempts at elegance that he no longer gave a

thought to his clothes.

"A good clerk," Godeschal told him, "should have two black coats, one

new, one old, a pair of black trousers, black stockings, and shoes.

Boots cost too much. You can't have boots till you are called to the

bar. A clerk should never spend more than seven hundred francs a year.

Good stout shirts of strong linen are what you want. Ha! when a man

starts from nothing to reach fortune, he has to keep down to bare

necessities. Look at Monsieur Desroches; he did what we are doing, and

see where he is now."

Godeschal preached by example. If he professed the strictest

principles of honor, discretion, and honesty, he practised them

without assumption, as he walked, as he breathed; such action was the

natural play of his soul, as walking and breathing were the natural

play of his organs. Eighteen months after Oscar's installation into

the office, the second clerk was, for the second time, slightly wrong

in his accounts, which were comparatively unimportant. Godeschal said

to him in presence of all the other clerks:

"My dear Gaudet, go away from here of your own free will, that it may

not be said that Monsieur Desroches has dismissed you. You have been

careless or absent-minded, and neither of those defects can pass here.

The master shall know nothing about the matter; that is all that I can

do for a comrade."

At twenty years of age, Oscar became third clerk in the office. Though

he earned no salary, he was lodged and fed, for he did the work of the

second clerk. Desroches employed two chief clerks, and the work of the

second was unremitting toil. By the end of his second year in the law-

school Oscar knew more than most licensed graduates; he did the work

at the Palais intelligently, and argued some cases in chambers.

Godeschal and Desroches were satisfied with him. And yet, though he

now seemed a sensible man, he showed, from time to time, a hankering

after pleasure and a desire to shine, repressed, though it was, by the

stern discipline and continual toil of his life.

Moreau, satisfied with Oscar's progress, relaxed, in some degree, his

watchfulness; and when, in July, 1825, Oscar passed his examinations

with a spotless record, the land-agent gave him the money to dress

himself elegantly. Madame Clapart, proud and happy in her son,

prepared the outfit splendidly for the rising lawyer.

In the month of November, when the courts reopened, Oscar Husson

occupied the chamber of the second clerk, whose work he now did

wholly. He had a salary of eight hundred francs with board and

lodging. Consequently, uncle Cardot, who went privately to Desroches

and made inquiries about his nephew, promised Madame Clapart to be on

the lookout for a practice for Oscar, if he continued to do as well in

the future.

In spite of these virtuous appearances, Oscar Husson was undergoing a

great strife in his inmost being. At times he thought of quitting a

life so directly against his tastes and his nature. He felt that

galley-slaves were happier than he. Galled by the collar of this iron

system, wild desires seized him to fly when he compared himself in the

street with the well-dressed young men whom he met. Sometimes he was

driven by a sort of madness towards women; then, again, he resigned

himself, but only to fall into a deeper disgust for life. Impelled by

the example of Godeschal, he was forced, rather than led of himself,

to remain in that rugged way.

Godeschal, who watched and took note of Oscar, made it a matter of

principle not to allow his pupil to be exposed to temptation.

Generally the young clerk was without money, or had so little that he

could not, if he would, give way to excess. During the last year, the

worthy Godeschal had made five or six parties of pleasure with Oscar,

defraying the expenses, for he felt that the rope by which he tethered

the young kid must be slackened. These "pranks," as he called them,

helped Oscar to endure existence, for there was little amusement in

breakfasting with his uncle Cardot, and still less in going to see his

mother, who lived even more penuriously than Desroches. Moreau could

not make himself familiar with Oscar as Godeschal could; and perhaps

that sincere friend to young Husson was behind Godeschal in these

efforts to initiate the poor youth safely into the mysteries of life.

Oscar, grown prudent, had come, through contact with others, to see

the extent and the character of the fault he had committed on that

luckless journey; but the volume of his repressed fancies and the

follies of youth might still get the better of him. Nevertheless, the

more knowledge he could get of the world and its laws, the better his

mind would form itself, and, provided Godeschal never lost sight of

him, Moreau flattered himself that between them they could bring the

son of Madame Clapart through in safety.

"How is he getting on?" asked the land-agent of Godeschal on his

return from one of his journeys which had kept him some months out of

Paris.

"Always too much vanity," replied Godeschal. "You give him fine

clothes and fine linen, he wears the shirt-fronts of a stockbroker,

and so my dainty coxcomb spends his Sundays in the Tuileries, looking

out for adventures. What else can you expect? That's youth. He

torments me to present him to my sister, where he would see a pretty

sort of society!--actresses, ballet-dancers, elegant young fops,

spendthrifts who are wasting their fortunes! His mind, I'm afraid, is

not fitted for law. He can talk well, though; and if we could make him

a barrister he might plead cases that were carefully prepared for

him."

In the month of November, 1825, soon after Oscar Husson had taken

possession of his new clerkship, and at the moment when he was about

to pass his examination for the licentiate's degree, a new clerk

arrived to take the place made vacant by Oscar's promotion.

This fourth clerk, named Frederic Marest, intended to enter the

magistracy, and was now in his third year at the law school. He was a

fine young man of twenty-three, enriched to the amount of some twelve

thousand francs a year by the death of a bachelor uncle, and the son

of Madame Marest, widow of the wealthy wood-merchant. This future

magistrate, actuated by a laudable desire to understand his vocation

in its smallest details, had put himself in Desroches' office for the

purpose of studying legal procedure, and of training himself to take a

place as head-clerk in two years. He hoped to do his "stage" (the

period between the admission as licentiate and the call to the bar) in

Paris, in order to be fully prepared for the functions of a post which

would surely not be refused to a rich young man. To see himself, by

the time he was thirty, "procureur du roi" in any court, no matter

where, was his sole ambition. Though Frederic Marest was cousin-german

to Georges Marest, the latter not having told his surname in

Pierrotin's coucou, Oscar Husson did not connect the present Marest

with the grandson of Czerni-Georges.

"Messieurs," said Godeschal at breakfast time, addressing all the

clerks, "I announce to you the arrival of a new jurisconsult; and as

he is rich, rishissime, we will make him, I hope, pay a glorious

entrance-fee."

"Forward, the book!" cried Oscar, nodding to the youngest clerk, "and

pray let us be serious."

The youngest clerk climbed like a squirrel along the shelves which

lined the room, until he could reach a register placed on the top

shelf, where a thick layer of dust had settled on it.

"It is getting colored," said the little clerk, exhibiting the volume.

We must explain the perennial joke of this book, then much in vogue in

legal offices. In a clerical life where work is the rule, amusement is

all the more treasured because it is rare; but, above all, a hoax or a

practical joke is enjoyed with delight. This fancy or custom does, to

a certain extent, explain Georges Marest's behavior in the coucou. The

gravest and most gloomy clerk is possessed, at times, with a craving

for fun and quizzing. The instinct with which a set of young clerks

will seize and develop a hoax or a practical joke is really

marvellous. The denizens of a studio and of a lawyer's office are, in

this line, superior to comedians.

In buying a practice without clients, Desroches began, as it were, a

new dynasty. This circumstance made a break in the usages relative to

the reception of new-comers. Moreover, Desroches having taken an

office where legal documents had never yet been scribbled, had bought

new tables, and white boxes edged with blue, also new. His staff was

made up of clerks coming from other officers, without mutual ties, and

surprised, as one may say, to find themselves together. Godeschal, who

had served his apprenticeship under Maitre Derville, was not the sort

of clerk to allow the precious tradition of the "welcome" to be lost.

This "welcome" is a breakfast which every neophyte must give to the

"ancients" of the office into which he enters.

Now, about the time when Oscar came to the office, during the first

six months of Desroches' installation, on a winter evening when the

work had been got through more quickly than usual, and the clerks were

warming themselves before the fire preparatory to departure, it came

into Godeschal's head to construct and compose a Register

"architriclino-basochien," of the utmost antiquity, saved from the

fires of the Revolution, and derived through the procureur of the

Chatelet-Bordin, the immediate predecessor of Sauvaguest, the

attorney, from whom Desroches had bought his practice. The work, which

was highly approved by the other clerks, was begun by a search through

all the dealers in old paper for a register, made of paper with the

mark of the eighteenth century, duly bound in parchment, on which

should be the stamp of an order in council. Having found such a volume

it was left about in the dust, on the stove, on the ground, in the

kitchen, and even in what the clerks called the "chamber of

deliberations"; and thus it obtained a mouldiness to delight an

antiquary, cracks of aged dilapidation, and broken corners that looked

as though the rats had gnawed them; also, the gilt edges were

tarnished with surprising perfection. As soon as the book was duly

prepared, the entries were made. The following extracts will show to

the most obtuse mind the purpose to which the office of Maitre

Desroches devoted this register, the first sixty pages of which were

filled with reports of fictitious cases. On the first page appeared as

follows, in the legal spelling of the eighteenth century:--

In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, so be it. This

day, the feast of our lady Saincte-Geneviesve, patron saint of

Paris, under whose protection have existed, since the year 1525

the clerks of this Practice, we the under-signed, clerks and sub-

clerks of Maistre Jerosme-Sebastien Bordin, successor to the late

Guerbet, in his lifetime procureur at the Chastelet, do hereby

recognize the obligation under which we lie to renew and continue

the register and the archives of installation of the clerks of

this noble Practice, a glorious member of the Kingdom of Basoche,

the which register, being now full in consequence of the many acts

and deeds of our well-beloved predecessors, we have consigned to

the Keeper of the Archives of the Palais for safe-keeping, with

the registers of other ancient Practices; and we have ourselves

gone, each and all, to hear mass at the parish church of Saint-

Severin to solemnize the inauguration of this our new register.

In witness whereof we have hereunto signed our names: Malin, head-

clerk; Grevin, second-clerk; Athanase Feret, clerk; Jacques Heret,

clerk; Regnault de Saint-Jean-d'Angely, clerk; Bedeau, youngest

clerk and gutter-jumper.

In the year of our Lord 1787.

After the mass aforesaid was heard, we conveyed ourselves to

Courtille, where, at the common charge, we ordered a fine

breakfast; which did not end till seven o'clock the next morning.

This was marvellously well engrossed. An expert would have said that

it was written in the eighteenth century. Twenty-seven reports of

receptions of neophytes followed, the last in the fatal year of 1792.

Then came a blank of fourteen years; after which the register began

again, in 1806, with the appointment of Bordin as attorney before the

first Court of the Seine. And here follows the deed which proclaimed

the reconstitution of the kingdom of Basoche:--

God in his mercy willed that, in spite of the fearful storms which

have cruelly ravaged the land of France, now become a great

Empire, the archives of the very celebrated Practice of Maitre

Bordin should be preserved; and we, the undersigned, clerks of the

very virtuous and very worthy Maitre Bordin, do not hesitate to

attribute this unheard-of preservation, when all titles,

privileges, and charters were lost, to the protection of Sainte-

Genevieve, patron Saint of this office, and also to the reverence

which the last of the procureurs of noble race had for all that

belonged to ancient usages and customs. In the uncertainty of

knowing the exact part of Sainte-Genevieve and Maitre Bordin in

this miracle, we have resolved, each of us, to go to Saint-Etienne

du Mont and there hear mass, which will be said before the altar

of that Holy-Shepherdess who sends us sheep to shear, and also to

offer a breakfast to our master Bordin, hoping that he will pay

the costs.

Signed: Oignard, first clerk; Poidevin, second clerk; Proust,

clerk; Augustin Coret, sub-clerk.

At the office.

November, 1806.

At three in the afternoon, the above-named clerks hereby return

their grateful thanks to their excellent master, who regaled them

at the establishment of the Sieur Rolland restaurateur, rue du

Hasard, with exquisite wines of three regions, to wit: Bordeaux,

Champagne, and Burgundy, also with dishes most carefully chosen,

between the hours of four in the afternoon to half-past seven in

the evening. Coffee, ices, and liqueurs were in abundance. But

the presence of the master himself forbade the chanting of hymns

of praise in clerical stanzas. No clerk exceeded the bounds of

amiable gayety, for the worthy, respectable, and generous patron

had promised to take his clerks to see Talma in "Brittanicus," at

the Theatre-Francais. Long life to Maitre Bordin! May God shed

favors on his venerable pow! May he sell dear so glorious a

practice! May the rich clients for whom he prays arrive! May his

bills of costs and charges be paid in a trice! May our masters to

come be like him! May he ever be loved by clerks in other worlds

than this!

Here followed thirty-three reports of various receptions of new

clerks, distinguished from one another by different writing and

different inks, also by quotations, signatures, and praises of good

cheer and wines, which seemed to show that each report was written and

signed on the spot, "inter pocula."

Finally, under date of the month of June, 1822, the period when

Desroches took the oath, appears this constitutional declaration:--

I, the undersigned, Francois-Claude-Marie Godeschal, called by

Maitre Desroches to perform the difficult functions of head-clerk

in a Practice where the clients have to be created, having learned

through Maitre Derville, from whose office I come, of the

existence of the famous archives architriclino-basochien, so

celebrated at the Palais, have implored our gracious master to

obtain them from his predecessor; for it has become of the highest

importance to recover a document bearing date of the year 1786,

which is connected with other documents deposited for safe-keeping

at the Palais, the existence of which has been certified to by

Messrs. Terrasse and Duclos, keepers of records, by the help of

which we may go back to the year 1525, and find historical

indications of the utmost value on the manners, customs, and

cookery of the clerical race.

Having received a favorable answer to this request, the present

office has this day been put in possession of these proofs of the

worship in which our predecessors held the Goddess Bottle and good

living.

In consequence thereof, for the edification of our successors, and

to renew the chain of years and goblets, I, the said Godeschal,

have invited Messieurs Doublet, second clerk; Vassal, third clerk;

Herisson and Grandemain, clerks; and Dumets, sub-clerk, to

breakfast, Sunday next, at the "Cheval Rouge," on the Quai Saint-

Bernard, where we will celebrate the victory of obtaining this

volume which contains the Charter of our gullets.

This day, Sunday, June 27th, were imbibed twelve bottles of twelve

different wines, regarded as exquisite; also were devoured melons,

"pates au jus romanum," and a fillet of beef with mushroom sauce.

Mademoiselle Mariette, the illustrious sister of our head-clerk

and leading lady of the Royal Academy of music and dancing, having

obligingly put at the disposition of this Practice orchestra seats

for the performance of this evening, it is proper to make this

record of her generosity. Moreover, it is hereby decreed that the

aforesaid clerks shall convey themselves in a body to that noble

demoiselle to thank her in person, and declare to her that on the

occasion of her first lawsuit, if the devil sends her one, she

shall pay the money laid out upon it, and no more.

And our head-clerk Godeschal has been and is hereby proclaimed a

flower of Basoche, and, more especially, a good fellow. May a man

who treats so well be soon in treaty for a Practice of his own!

On this record were stains of wine, pates, and candle-grease. To

exhibit the stamp of truth that the writers had managed to put upon

these records, we may here give the report of Oscar's own pretended

reception:--

This day, Monday, November 25th, 1822, after a session held

yesterday at the rue de la Cerisaie, Arsenal quarter, at the house

of Madame Clapart, mother of the candidate-basochien Oscar Husson,

we, the undersigned, declare that the repast of admission

surpassed our expectations. It was composed of radishes, pink and

black, gherkins, anchovies, butter and olives for hors-d'oeuvre; a

succulent soup of rice, bearing testimony to maternal solicitude,

for we recognized therein a delicious taste of poultry; indeed, by

acknowledgment of the new member, we learned that the gibbets of a

fine stew prepared by the hands of Madame Clapart herself had been

judiciously inserted into the family soup-pot with a care that is

never taken except in such households.

Item: the said gibbets inclosed in a sea of jelly.

Item: a tongue of beef with tomatoes, which rendered us all

tongue-tied automatoes.

Item: a compote of pigeons with caused us to think the angels had

had a finger in it.

Item: a timbale of macaroni surrounded by chocolate custards.

Item: a dessert composed of eleven delicate dishes, among which we

remarked (in spite of the tipsiness caused by sixteen bottles of

the choicest wines) a compote of peaches of august and mirobolant

delicacy.

The wines of Roussillon and those of the banks of the Rhone

completely effaced those of Champagne and Burgundy. A bottle of

maraschino and another of kirsch did, in spite of the exquisite

coffee, plunge us into so marked an oenological ecstasy that we

found ourselves at a late hour in the Bois de Boulogne instead of

our domicile, where we thought we were.

In the statutes of our Order there is one rule which is rigidly

enforced; namely, to allow all candidates for the privilege of

Basoche to limit the magnificence of their feast of welcome to the

length of their purse; for it is publicly notorious that no one

delivers himself up to Themis if he has a fortune, and every clerk

is, alas, sternly curtailed by his parents. Consequently, we

hereby record with the highest praise the liberal conduct of

Madame Clapart, widow, by her first marriage, of Monsieur Husson,

father of the candidate, who is worthy of the hurrahs which we

gave for her at dessert.

To all of which we hereby set our hands.

[Signed by all the clerks.]

Three clerks had already been deceived by the Book, and three real

"receptions of welcome," were recorded on this imposing register.

The day after the arrival of each neophyte, the little sub-clerk (the

errand-boy and "gutter-jumper") laid upon the new-comer's desk the

"Archives Architriclino-Basochiennes," and the clerks enjoyed the

sight of his countenance as he studied its facetious pages. Inter

pocula each candidate had learned the secret of the farce, and the

revelation inspired him with the desire to hoax his successor.

We see now why Oscar, become in his turn participator in the hoax,

called out to the little clerk, "Forward, the book!"

Ten minutes later a handsome young man, with a fine figure and

pleasant face, presented himself, asked for Monsieur Desroches, and

gave his name without hesitation to Godeschal.

"I am Frederic Marest," he said, "and I come to take the place of

third clerk."

"Monsieur Husson," said Godeschal to Oscar, "show monsieur his seat

and tell him about the customs of the office."

The next day the new clerk found the register lying on his desk. He

took it up, but after reading a few pages he began to laugh, said

nothing to the assembled clerks, and laid the book down again.

"Messieurs," he said, when the hour of departure came at five o'clock,

"I have a cousin who is head clerk of the notary Maitre Leopold

Hannequin; I will ask his advice as to what I ought to do for my

welcome."

"That looks ill," cried Godeschal, when Frederic had gone, "he hasn't

the cut of a novice, that fellow!"

"We'll get some fun out of him yet," said Oscar.