XVI

"I then looked about me for some modest appointment by which I

might live. I was about to get the editorship of a paper under a

manager who did not know much about it, a man of wealth and

ambition, when I took fright. 'Would /she/ ever accept as her

husband a man who had stooped so low?' I wondered.

"This reflection made me two-and-twenty again. But, oh, my dear

Leopold, how the soul is worn by these perplexities! What must not

the caged eagles suffer, and imprisoned lions!--They suffer what

Napoleon suffered, not at Saint Helena, but on the Quay of the

Tuileries, on the 10th of August, when he saw Louis XVI. defending

himself so badly while he could have quelled the insurrection; as

he actually did, on the same spot, a little later, in Vendemiaire.

Well, my life has been a torment of that kind, extending over four

years. How many a speech to the Chamber have I not delivered in

the deserted alleys of the Bois de Boulogne! These wasted

harangues have at any rate sharpened my tongue and accustomed my

mind to formulate its ideas in words. And while I was undergoing

this secret torture, you were getting married, you had paid for

your business, you were made law-clerk to the Maire of your

district, after gaining a cross for a wound at Saint-Merri.

"Now, listen. When I was a small boy and tortured cock-chafers,

the poor insects had one form of struggle which used almost to put

me in a fever. It was when I saw them making repeated efforts to

fly but without getting away, though they could spread their

wings. We used to say, 'They are marking time.' Now was this

sympathy? Was it a vision of my own future?--Oh! to spread my

wings and yet be unable to fly! That has been my predicament since

that fine undertaking by which I was disgusted, but which has now

made four families rich.

"At last, seven months ago, I determined to make myself a name at

the Paris Bar, seeing how many vacancies had been left by the

promotion of several lawyers to eminent positions. But when I

remembered the rivalry I had seen among men of the press, and how

difficult it is to achieve anything of any kind in Paris, the

arena where so many champions meet, I came to a determination

painful to myself, but certain in its results, and perhaps quicker

than any other. In the course of our conversations you had given

me a picture of the society of Besancon, of the impossibility for

a stranger to get on there, to produce the smallest effect, to get

into society, or to succeed in any way whatever. It was there that

I determined to set up my flag, thinking, and rightly, that I

should meet with no opposition, but find myself alone to canvass

for the election. The people of the Comte will not meet the

outsider? The outsider will meet them! They refuse to admit him to

their drawing-rooms, he will never go there! He never shows

himself anywhere, not even in the streets! But there is one class

that elects the deputies--the commercial class. I am going

especially to study commercial questions, with which I am already

familiar; I will gain their lawsuits, I will effect compromises, I

will be the greatest pleader in Besancon. By and by I will start a

/Review/, in which I will defend the interests of the country,

will create them, or preserve them, or resuscitate them. When I

shall have won a sufficient number of votes, my name will come out

of the urn. For a long time the unknown barrister will be treated

with contempt, but some circumstance will arise to bring him to

the front--some unpaid defence, or a case which no other pleader

will undertake.

"Well, my dear Leopold, I packed up my books in eleven cases, I

bought such law-books as might prove useful, and I sent everything

off, furniture and all, by carrier to Besancon. I collected my

diplomas, and I went to bid you good-bye. The mail coach dropped

me at Besancon, where, in three days' time, I chose a little set

of rooms looking out over some gardens. I sumptuously arranged the

mysterious private room where I spend my nights and days, and

where the portrait of my divinity reigns--of her to whom my life

is dedicate, who fills it wholly, who is the mainspring of my

efforts, the secret of my courage, the cause of my talents. Then,

as soon as the furniture and books had come, I engaged an

intelligent man-servant, and there I sat for five months like a

hibernating marmot.

"My name had, however, been entered on the list of lawyers in the

town. At last I was called one day to defend an unhappy wretch at

the Assizes, no doubt in order to hear me speak for once! One of

the most influential merchants of Besancon was on the jury; he had

a difficult task to fulfil; I did my utmost for the man, and my

success was absolute and complete. My client was innocent; I very

dramatically secured the arrest of the real criminals, who had

come forward as witnesses. In short, the Court and the public were

united in their admiration. I managed to save the examining

magistrate's pride by pointing out the impossibility of detecting

a plot so skilfully planned.

"Then I had to fight a case for my merchant, and won his suit. The

Cathedral Chapter next chose me to defend a tremendous action

against the town, which had been going on for four years; I won

that. Thus, after three trials, I had become the most famous

advocate of Franche-Comte.

"But I bury my life in the deepest mystery, and so hide my aims. I

have adopted habits which prevent my accepting any invitations. I

am only to be consulted between six and eight in the morning; I go

to bed after my dinner, and work at night. The Vicar-General, a

man of parts, and very influential, who placed the Chapter's case

in my hands after they had lost it in the lower Court, of course

professed their gratitude. 'Monsieur,' said I, 'I will win your

suit, but I want no fee; I want more' (start of alarm on the

Abbe's part). 'You must know that I am a great loser by putting

myself forward in antagonism to the town. I came here only to

leave the place as deputy. I mean to engage only in commercial

cases, because commercial men return the members; they will

distrust me if I defend "the priests"--for to them you are simply

priests. If I undertake your defence, it is because I was, in

1828, private secretary to such a Minister' (again a start of

surprise on the part of my Abbe), 'and Master of Appeals, under

the name of Albert de Savarus' (another start). 'I have remained

faithful to monarchical opinions; but, as you have not the

majority of votes in Besancon, I must gain votes among the

citizens. So the fee I ask of you is the votes you may be able

secretly to secure for me at the opportune moment. Let us each

keep our own counsel, and I will defend, for nothing, every case

to which a priest of this diocese may be a party. Not a word about

my previous life, and we will be true to each other.'

"When he came to thank me afterwards, he gave me a note for five

hundred francs, and said in my ear, 'The votes are a bargain all

the same.'--I have in the course of five interviews made a friend,

I think, of this Vicar-General.

"Now I am overwhelmed with business, and I undertake no cases but

those brought to me by merchants, saying that commercial questions

are my specialty. This line of conduct attaches business men to

me, and allows me to make friends with influential persons. So all

goes well. Within a few months I shall have found a house to

purchase in Besancon, so as to secure a qualification. I count on

your lending me the necessary capital for this investment. If I

should die, if I should fail, the loss would be too small to be

any consideration between you and me. You will get the interest

out of the rental, and I shall take good care to look out for

something cheap, so that you may lose nothing by this mortgage,

which is indispensable.