1.2. Perfect (and exhausted) control

Another more or less inevitable consequence or component. The greater the subjective power of control, the greater will be the threat that the eros or the pathos (the symbols of instinctual energy) makes to the consciousness and that the subject will notice with some anguish. The individual, then will oppose temptations with a frontal resistance which is expected to get ride of everything, the baby along with the bath water… In fact, only the dimension of light and goodness, purity and positiveness has the right to exist in the person’s life.  Other shadow dimensions, which do belong to the human reality, are continually placed under accusation and control. The model of this idea of Christian perfection is the perfect controller  of all his instincts: he is one who pursues, inflexible, a maximum ideal; he punishes and represses passion which opposes virtue; but he must always resort to a burdensome commitment of his will, with significant expense of psychic energy, an expense which leaves the person “fatigued and oppressed”. ¹

Whatever this individual does, even her ideal of perfection with all the renunciation and penance that it involves, is more a self-imposed obligation, or which she feels imposed as a yoke, which does not require or follow from a love relationship.  The person wants it with all his will, it does not matter that he does not love it; what counts is that he resolve to be converted; that is to change behavior, not that he enjoys letting himself be attracted by the Spirit, or that he experiences the freedom of love. In all of this there is a great deal of good will and a sincere intention which no one may doubt, but probably there is little interior freedom and even less real and true self-transcendence (in spite of the tension toward overcoming the ego).