XX. And so when you see a man
often wearing the robe of office, when you see one whose name is famous in the
Forum, do not envy him; those things are bought at the price of life. They will
waste all their years, in order that they may have one year reckoned by their
name.44 Life has left some in the midst of their first struggles,
before they could climb up to the height of their ambition; some, when they
have crawled up through a thousand indignities to the crowning dignity, have
been possessed by the unhappy thought that they have but toiled for an
inscription on a tomb; some who have come to extreme old age, while they
adjusted it to new hopes as if it were youth, have had it fail from sheer
weakness in the midst of their great and shameless endeavours. Shameful is he
whose breath leaves him in the midst of a trial when, advanced in years and
still courting the applause of an ignorant circle, he is pleading for some
litigant who is the veriest stranger; disgraceful is he who, exhausted more
quickly by his mode of living than by his labour, collapses in the very midst
of his duties; disgraceful is he who dies in the act of receiving payments on
account, and draws a smile from his long delayed45 heir. I cannot pass
over an instance which occurs to me. Sextus46 Turannius was an old man
of long tested diligence, who, after his ninetieth year, having received
release from the duties of his office by Gaius Caesar's own act, ordered
himself to be laid out on his bed and to be mourned by the assembled household
as if he were dead. The whole house bemoaned the leisure of its old master, and
did not end its sorrow until his accustomed work was restored to him. Is it
really such pleasure for a man to die in harness? Yet very many have the same
feeling; their desire for their labour lasts longer than their ability; they
fight against the weakness of the body, they judge old age to be a hardship on
no other score than because it puts them aside. The law does not draft a
soldier after his fiftieth year, it does not call a senator after his sixtieth;
it is more difficult for men to obtain leisure from themselves than from the
law. Meantime, while they rob and are being robbed, while they break up each
other's repose, while they make each other wretched, their life is without
profit, without pleasure, without any improvement of the mind. No one keeps
death in view, no one refrains from far-reaching hopes; some men, indeed, even
arrange for things that lie beyond life—huge masses of tombs and dedications of
public works and gifts for their funeral-pyres and ostentatious funerals. But,
in very truth, the funerals of such men ought to be conducted by the light of
torches and wax tapers,47 as though they had lived but the tiniest
span.
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