The
five friends had finished dinner, five men of the world, mature, rich, three
married, the two others bachelors. They met like this every month in memory of
their youth, and after dinner they chatted until two o'clock in the morning.
Having remained intimate friends, and enjoying each other's society, they
probably considered these the pleasantest evenings of their lives. They talked
on every subject, especially of what interested and amused Parisians. Their
conversation was, as in the majority of salons elsewhere, a verbal rehash of
what they had read in the morning papers.
One of the most
lively of them was Joseph de Bardon, a celibate living the Parisian life
in its fullest and most whimsical manner. He was not a debauche nor depraved,
but a singular, happy fellow, still young, for he was scarcely forty. A man of
the world in its widest and best sense, gifted with a brilliant, but not profound,
mind, with much varied knowledge, but no true erudition, ready comprehension
without true understanding, he drew from his observations, his adventures, from
everything he saw, met with and found, anecdotes at once comical and
philosophical, and made humorous remarks that gave him a great reputation for
cleverness in society.
He was the after dinner speaker and
had his own story each time, upon which they counted, and he talked without
having to be coaxed.
As he sat smoking, his elbows on
the table, a petit verre half full beside his plate, half torpid in an
atmosphere of tobacco blended with steaming coffee, he
seemed to be perfectly at home. He said between two whiffs:
"A curious thing happened to
me some time ago."
"Tell it to us," they all
exclaimed at once.
"With pleasure. You know that
I wander about Paris
a great deal, like book collectors who ransack book stalls. I just look at the
sights, at the people, at all that is passing by and all that is going on.
"Toward the middle of
September -- it was beautiful weather -- I went out one afternoon, not knowing
where I was going. One always has a vague wish to call on some pretty woman or
other. One chooses among them in one's mental picture gallery, compares them in
one's mind, weighs the interest with which they inspire you, their comparative
charms and finally decides according to the influence of the day. But when the
sun is very bright and the air warm, it takes away from you all desire to make
calls.
"The sun was bright, the air
warm. I lighted a cigar and sauntered aimlessly along the outer boulevard.
Then, as I strolled on, it occurred to me to walk as far as Montmartre
and go into the cemetery.
"I am very fond of
cemeteries. They rest me and give me a feeling of sadness; I need it. And,
besides, I have good friends in there, those that one no longer goes to call
on, and I go there from time to time.
"It is in this cemetery of Montmartre that
is buried a romance of my life, a sweetheart who made a great impression on me,
a very emotional, charming little woman whose memory, although it causes me
great sorrow, also fills me with regrets -- regrets of all kinds. And I go to
dream beside her grave. She has finished with life.
"And then I like cemeteries
because they are immense cities filled to overflowing with inhabitants. Think
how many dead people there are in this small space, think of all the
generations of Parisians who are housed there forever, veritable troglodytes
enclosed in their little vaults, in their little graves covered with a stone or
marked by a cross, while living beings take up so much room and make so much
noise -- imbeciles that they are
"Then, again, in cemeteries
there are monuments almost as interesting as in museums. The tomb of Cavaignac
reminded me, I must confess without making any comparison, of the chef d'oeuvre
of Jean Goujon: the recumbent statue of Louis de Breze in the subterranean
chapel of the Cathedral of Rouen. All modern and realistic art has originated
there, messieurs. This dead man, Louis de Breze, is more real, more terrible,
more like inanimate flesh still convulsed with the death agony than all the
tortured corpses that are distorted to-day in funeral monuments.
"But in Montmartre
one can yet admire Baudin's monument, which has a degree of grandeur; that of
Gautier, of Murger, on which I saw the other day a simple, paltry wreath of
immortelles, yellow immortelles, brought thither by whom? Possibly
by the last grisette, very old and now janitress in the neighborhood. It
is a pretty little statue by Millet, but ruined by dirt and neglect. Sing of
youth, O Murger!
"Well, there I was in Montmartre Cemetery,
and was all at once filled with sadness, a sadness that is not all pain, a kind
of sadness that makes you think when you are in good health, 'This place is not
amusing, but my time has not come yet.'
"The feeling of autumn, of the warm
moisture which is redolent of the death of the leaves, and the weakened, weary,
anaemic sun increased, while rendering it poetical, the sensation of solitude
and of finality that hovered over this spot which savors of human mortality.
"I walked along slowly amid these streets
of tombs, where the neighbors do not visit each other, do not sleep together
and do not read the newspapers. And I began to read the epitaphs. That is the
most amusing thing in the world. Never did Labiche or Meilhac make me laugh as
I have laughed at the comical inscriptions on tombstones. Oh, how much superior
to the books of Paul de Kock for getting rid of the spleen are these marble
slabs and these crosses where the relatives of the deceased have unburdened
their sorrow, their desires for the happiness of the vanished ones and their
hope of rejoining them -- humbugs!
"But I love above all in this
cemetery the deserted portion, solitary, full of great yews and cypresses, the
older portion, belonging to those dead long since, and which will soon be taken
into use again; the growing trees nourished by the human corpses cut down in
order to bury in rows beneath little slabs of marble those who have died more
recently.
"When I had sauntered about long enough to
refresh my mind I felt that I would soon have had enough of it and that I must
place the faithful homage of my remembrance on my little friend's last resting
place. I felt a tightening of the heart as I reached her grave. Poor dear, she
was so dainty, so loving and so white and fresh -- and now -- if one should
open the grave ----
"Leaning over the iron grating, I told her
of my sorrow in a low tone, which she doubtless did not hear, and was moving
away when I saw a woman in black, in deep mourning, kneeling on the next grave.
Her crape veil was turned back, uncovering a pretty fair head, the hair in
Madonna bands looking like rays of dawn beneath her sombre headdress. I stayed.
"Surely she must be in
profound grief. She had covered her face with her hands and, standing there in
meditation, rigid as a statue, given up to her grief, telling the sad rosary of
her remembrances within the shadow of her concealed and closed eyes, she
herself seemed like a dead person mourning another who was dead. All at once a
little motion of her back, like a flutter of wind through a willow, led me to
suppose that she was going to cry. She wept softly at first, then louder, with
quick motions of her neck and shoulders. Suddenly she uncovered her eyes. They
were full of tears and charming, the eyes of a bewildered woman, with which she
glanced about her as if awaking from a nightmare. She looked at me, seemed
abashed and hid her face completely in her hands. Then she sobbed convulsively,
and her head slowly bent down toward the marble. She leaned her forehead on it,
and her veil spreading around her, covered the white corners of the beloved
tomb, like a fresh token of mourning. I heard her sigh, then
she sank down with her cheek on the marble slab and remained motionless,
unconscious.
"I darted toward her, slapped
her hands, blew on her eyelids, while I read this simple epitaph: 'Here lies
Louis-Theodore Carrel, Captain of Marine Infantry, killed by the enemy at
Tonquin. Pray for him.'
"He had died some months
before. I was affected to tears and redoubled my attentions. They were
successful. She regained consciousness. I appeared very much moved. I am not
bad looking, I am not forty. I saw by her first glance that she would be polite
and grateful. She was, and amid more tears she told me her history in detached
fragments as well as her gasping breath would allow, how the officer was killed
at Tonquin when they had been married a year, how she had married him for love,
and being an orphan, she had only the usual dowry.
"I consoled her, I comforted
her, raised her and lifted her on her feet. Then I said:
"'Do not stay here. Come.'
"'I am unable to walk,' she
murmured.
"'I will support you.'
"'Thank you, sir; you are
good. Did you also come to mourn for some one?'
"'Yes, madame.'
"'A dead friend?'
"'Yes, madame.'
"'Your wife?'
"'A friend.'
"'One may love a friend as
much as they love their wife. Love has no law.'
"'Yes, madame.'
"And we set off together, she
leaning on my arm, while I almost carried her along the paths of the cemetery.
When we got outside she faltered:
"'I feel as if I were going
to be ill.'
"'Would you like to go in
anywhere, to take something?'
"'Yes, monsieur.'
"I perceived a restaurant,
one of those places where the mourners of the dead go to celebrate the funeral.
We went in. I made her drink a cup of hot tea, which seemed to revive her. A
faint smile came to her lips. She began to talk about herself. It was sad, so
sad to be always alone in life, alone in one's home, night and day, to have no
one on whom one can bestow affection, confidence, intimacy.
"That sounded sincere. It sounded
pretty from her mouth. I was touched. She was very young, perhaps twenty. I
paid her compliments, which she took in good part. Then, as time was passing, I
suggested taking her home in a carriage. She accepted, and in the cab we sat so
close that our shoulders touched.
"When the cab stopped at her
house she murmured: 'I do not feel equal to going upstairs alone, for I live on
the fourth floor. You have been so good. Will you let me take your arm as far
as my own door?'
"I agreed with eagerness. She
ascended the stairs slowly, breathing hard. Then, as we stood at her door, she
said:
"'Come in a few moments so
that I may thank you.'
"And, by Jove, I went in.
Everything was modest, even rather poor, but simple and in good taste.
"We sat down side by side on
a little sofa and she began to talk again about her loneliness. She rang for
her maid, in order to offer me some wine. The maid did not come. I was
delighted, thinking that this maid probably came in the morning only, what one
calls a charwoman.
"She had taken off her hat.
She was really pretty, and she gazed at me with her clear eyes, gazed so hard
and her eyes were so clear that I was terribly tempted. I caught her in my arms
and rained kisses on her eyelids, which she closed suddenly.
"She freed herself and pushed
me away, saying:
"'Have done, have done.'
"But I next kissed her on the mouth and she
did not resist, and as our glances met after thus outraging the memory of the
captain killed in Tonquin, I saw that she had a languid, resigned expression
that set my mind at rest.
"I became very attentive and,
after chatting for some time, I said:
"'Where do you dine?'
"'In a little restaurant in
the neighborhood:
"'All alone?'
"'Why, yes.'
"'Will you dine with me?'
"'Where?'
"'In a good restaurant on the
Boulevard.'
"She demurred a little. I
insisted. She yielded, saying by way of apology to herself: 'I am so lonely -- so
lonely.' Then she added:
"'I must put on something less
sombre, and went into her bedroom. When she reappeared she was dressed in
half-mourning, charming, dainty and slender in a very simple gray dress. She
evidently had a costume for the cemetery and one for the town.
"The dinner was very
enjoyable. She drank some champagne, brightened up, grew lively and I went home
with her.
"This friendship, begun amid
the tombs, lasted about three weeks. But one gets tired of everything,
especially of women. I left her under pretext of an imperative journey. She
made me promise that I would come and see her on my return. She seemed to be
really rather attached to me.
"Other things occupied my
attention, and it was about a month before I thought much about this little cemetery
friend. However, I did not forget her. The recollection of her haunted me like
a mystery, like a psychological problem, one of those inexplicable questions
whose solution baffles us.
"I do not know why, but one
day I thought I might possibly meet her in the Montmartre Cemetery,
and I went there.
"I walked about a long time without meeting
any but the ordinary visitors to this spot, those who have not yet broken off
all relations with their dead. The grave of the captain killed at Tonquin had
no mourner on its marble slab, no flowers, no wreath.
"But as I wandered in another direction of
this great city of the dead I perceived suddenly, at the end of a narrow avenue
of crosses, a couple in deep mourning walking toward me, a man and a woman. Oh,
horrors! As they approached I recognized her. It was she!
"She saw me, blushed, and as I brushed past
her she gave me a little signal, a tiny little signal with her eye, which
meant: 'Do not recognize me!' and also seemed to say, 'Come back to see me
again, my dear!'
"The man was a gentleman,
distingue, chic, an officer of the Legion of Honor, about fifty years old. He
was supporting her as I had supported her myself when we were leaving the
cemetery.
"I went my way, filled with
amazement, asking myself what this all meant, to what race of beings belonged
this huntress of the tombs? Was she just a common girl, one who went to seek
among the tombs for men who were in sorrow, haunted by the recollection of some
woman, a wife or a sweetheart, and still troubled by the memory of vanished
caresses? Was she unique? Are there many such? Is it a profession? Do they
parade the cemetery as they parade the street? Or else was she only impressed
with the admirable, profoundly philosophical idea of exploiting love
recollections, which are revived in these funereal places?
"And I would have liked to
know whose widow she was on that special day."
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