Part
1 I| water. From time to time she dipped out some water and
2 I| crowing in the distance.~When she had finished her work, wiped
3 I| with its loud tick-tock, she drew a long breath, as she
4 I| she drew a long breath, as she felt rather oppressed, without
5 I| without exactly knowing why. She looked at the black clay
6 I| strings of onions, and then she sat down, rather overcome
7 I| in the adjoining dairy.~She wanted to sew, as usual,
8 I| wanted to sew, as usual, but she did not feel strong enough,
9 I| feel strong enough, and so she went to the door to get
10 I| without thinking, and then she raised her eyes and was
11 I| surprised at being alone.~She also felt inclined to run;
12 I| also felt inclined to run; she felt inclined to move and
13 I| the warm, breathless air. She took a few undecided steps
14 I| and closed her eyes, for she was seized with a feeling
15 I| animal comfort, and then she went to look for eggs in
16 I| thirteen of them, which she took in and put into the
17 I| kitchen annoyed her again, and she went out to sit on the grass
18 I| as tall as one's finger.~She took up a bundle of straw,
19 I| not feeling comfortable, she undid it, spread it out
20 I| Gradually her eyes closed, and she was falling into a state
21 I| state of delightful languor. She was, in fact, almost asleep
22 I| fact, almost asleep when she felt two hands on her bosom,
23 I| hands on her bosom, and she sprang up at a bound. It
24 I| He tried to kiss her, but she gave him a smack in the
25 I| a smack in the face, for she was as strong as he, and
26 I| and it might be forever. She grew sad as she thought
27 I| forever. She grew sad as she thought of it, while he,
28 I| mother for a long time," she said. "It is very hard to
29 I| separated like that," and she directed her looks into
30 I| village in the north which she had left.~Suddenly, however,
31 I| and kissed her again, but she struck him so violently
32 I| the stem of a tree. When she saw that, she was sorry,
33 I| tree. When she saw that, she was sorry, and going up
34 I| sorry, and going up to him, she said: "Have I hurt you?"
35 I| was a mere nothing; only she had hit him right on the
36 I| her with admiration, for she had inspired him with a
37 I| like that much longer; but she took his arm of her own
38 I| really want to marry me?" she asked.~He hesitated and
39 I| looked at her sideways, while she looked straight ahead of
40 I| looked straight ahead of her. She had fat, red cheeks, a full
41 I| Yes, of course I do."~Then she threw her arms round his
42 I| sad and anxious; and soon she found that she was enceinte.~
43 I| and soon she found that she was enceinte.~At first she
44 I| she was enceinte.~At first she was in a state of consternation,
45 I| consternation, but then she got angry, and her rage
46 I| increased every day because she could not meet him, as he
47 I| the farmhouse was asleep, she went out noiselessly in
48 I| he heard her coming, but she knelt down by his side and
49 I| and trembling with anger, she replied: "I want -- I want
50 I| than enough to do."~Then she seized him by the throat,
51 I| and, half strangling him, she shouted into his face:~"
52 I| When Jacques found that she was the stronger, he stammered
53 I| as that is the case." But she did not believe his promises. "
54 I| promises. "It must be at once," she said. "You must have the
55 I| swear it, by Heaven!"~Then she released her grasp and went
56 I| away without another word.~She had no chance of speaking
57 I| always locked at night, she was afraid to make any noise,
58 I| scandal. One morning, however, she saw another man come in
59 I| come in at dinner time, and she said: "Has Jacques left?" "
60 I| tremble so violently that she could not take the saucepan
61 I| when they were all at work, she went up into her room and
62 I| in the bolster, so that she might not be heard. During
63 I| During the day, however, she tried to obtain some information
64 I| exciting any suspicion, but she was so overwhelmed by the
65 I| thoughts of her misfortune that she fancied that all the people
66 I| that all the people whom she asked laughed maliciously.
67 I| laughed maliciously. All she learned, however, was that
68 II| constant misery began for her. She worked mechanically, without
69 II| without thinking of what she was doing, with one fixed
70 II| incapable of reasoning that she did not even try to think
71 II| avoiding the disgrace that she knew must ensue, which was
72 II| as sure as death itself. She got up every morning long
73 II| looking-glass, before which she did her hair, as she was
74 II| which she did her hair, as she was very anxious to know
75 II| her, and, during the day, she stopped working every few
76 II| The months went on, and she scarcely spoke now, and
77 II| scarcely spoke now, and when she was asked a question, did
78 II| appear to understand; but she had a frightened look, haggard
79 II| grown lately."~In church she hid behind a pillar, and
80 II| to go to confession, as she feared to face the priest,
81 II| face the priest, to whom she attributed superhuman powers,
82 II| faint with mental agony; and she was always fancying that
83 II| was always fancying that she had been found out by the
84 II| brought her a letter, and as she had never received one in
85 II| received one in her life before she was so upset by it that
86 II| was so upset by it that she was obliged to sit down.
87 II| it was from him? But, as she could not read, she sat
88 II| as she could not read, she sat anxious and trembling
89 II| After a time, however, she put it into her pocket,
90 II| put it into her pocket, as she did not venture to confide
91 II| confide her secret to any one. She often stopped in her work
92 II| imagining vaguely that she would suddenly discover
93 II| meaning, until at last, as she felt half mad with impatience
94 II| impatience and anxiety, she went to the schoolmaster,
95 II| CESAIRE DENTU, Deputy Mayor."~She did not say a word and went
96 II| went away, but as soon as she was alone her legs gave
97 II| gave way under her, and she fell down by the roadside
98 II| remained there till night.~When she got back, she told the farmer
99 II| night.~When she got back, she told the farmer her bad
100 II| to go home for as long as she liked, and promised to have
101 II| and to take her back when she returned.~Her mother died
102 II| Her mother died soon after she got there, and the next
103 II| but it lived for all that. She said she was married, but
104 II| lived for all that. She said she was married, but could not
105 II| burdened with the child, so she left it with some neighbors,
106 II| take great care of it, and she went back to the farm.~But
107 II| frail little creature which she had left behind her, though
108 II| very love, suffering which she felt every hour and every
109 II| and every minute, because she was parted from her child.
110 II| body against her breast. She could not sleep at night;
111 II| could not sleep at night; she thought of it the whole
112 II| when her work was done, she would sit in front of the
113 II| the christening? And often she ran away to cry by herself,
114 II| order to forget their jokes, she began to work still more
115 II| still thinking of her child, she sought some way of saving
116 II| raise her wages.~By degrees she almost monopolized the work
117 II| had become useless since she had taken to working like
118 II| taken to working like two; she economized in the bread,
119 II| which was rather wasted. She was as miserly about her
120 II| so that, in a short time, she became. indispensable to
121 II| became. indispensable to him. She kept such a strict eye on
122 II| token of good will; and she began to think rather bitterly
123 II| every month, thanks to her, she was still only earning her
124 II| neither more nor less; and so she made up her mind to ask
125 II| for an increase of wages. She went to see the schoolmaster
126 II| times about it, but when she got there, she spoke about
127 II| but when she got there, she spoke about something else.
128 II| spoke about something else. She felt a kind of modesty in
129 II| himself in the kitchen, she said to him, with some embarrassment,
130 II| some embarrassment, that she wished to speak to him particularly.
131 II| week's holiday, so that she might get away, as she was
132 II| that she might get away, as she was not very well. He acceded
133 III| nearly eight months old, and she did not recognize it. It
134 III| like a little roll of fat. She threw herself on it, as
135 III| scream with terror; and then she began to cry herself, because
136 III| laughed when it saw her, and she took it into the fields,
137 III| first time in her life, she opened her heart to somebody,
138 III| anxieties and her hopes, and she quite tired the child with
139 III| violence of her caresses.~She took the greatest pleasure
140 III| confirmation of her maternity; and she would look at it, almost
141 III| herself in a low voice as she danced it in her arms: "
142 III| my baby, it's my baby."~She cried all the way home as
143 III| cried all the way home as she returned to the farm and
144 III| called her into his room; and she went, feeling astonished
145 III| Sit down there," he said. She sat down, and for some moments
146 III| thought of settling in life?" She grew as pale as death, and,
147 III| death, and, seeing that she gave him no answer, he went
148 III| would make a man's fortune."~She did not move, but looked
149 III| but looked frightened; she did not even try to comprehend
150 III| to marry me, by Heaven!"~She jumped up, but fell back
151 III| back on her chair, as if she had been struck, and there
152 III| had been struck, and there she remained motionless, like
153 III| what more do you want?" She looked at him, almost in
154 III| tears came into her eves and she said twice in a choking
155 III| for he had no doubt that she would the next morning accept
156 III| accept a proposal which she could never have expected
157 III| certainly bring him more than if she had the best dowry in the
158 III| not go to bed that night. She threw herself, dressed as
159 III| threw herself, dressed as she was, on her bed, and she
160 III| she was, on her bed, and she had not even the strength
161 III| strength to cry left in her, she was so thoroughly dumfounded.
162 III| so thoroughly dumfounded. She remained quite inert, scarcely
163 III| inert, scarcely knowing that she had a body, and without
164 III| thoughts, though, at moments, she remembered something of
165 III| what had happened, and then she was frightened at the idea
166 III| kitchen clock struck the hour she broke out in a perspiration
167 III| perspiration from grief. She became bewildered, and had
168 III| candle went out, and then she began to imagine that some
169 III| people so often imagine, and she felt a mad inclination to
170 III| the wind. An owl hooted; she shivered, sat up, passed
171 III| over her body, and then she went downstairs, as if she
172 III| she went downstairs, as if she were walking in her sleep.
173 III| walking in her sleep. When she got into the yard she stooped
174 III| When she got into the yard she stooped down, so as not
175 III| Instead of opening the gate she scrambled over the fence,
176 III| the fence, and as soon as she was outside she started
177 III| soon as she was outside she started off. She went on
178 III| outside she started off. She went on straight before
179 III| trot, and from time to time she unconsciously uttered a
180 III| and tried to bite her, but she turned round and gave such
181 III| rose in the purple sky, she stopped, for her swollen
182 III| refused to go any farther; but she saw a pond in the distance,
183 III| reflection of this new day, and she limped on slowly with her
184 III| dip both her feet in it. She sat down on a tuft of grass,
185 III| foot, and suddenly, while she was looking fixedly at the
186 III| fixedly at the deep pool, she was seized with dizziness,
187 III| in there, over forever. She no longer thought of her
188 III| longer thought of her child; she only wanted peace, complete
189 III| and to sleep forever, and she got up with raised arms
190 III| took two steps forward. She was in the water up to her
191 III| water up to her thighs, and she was just about to throw
192 III| made her jump back, and she uttered a cry of despair,
193 III| they adhered to her flesh. She did not dare to touch them,
194 III| master's farm in his gig.~She was in bed for a fortnight,
195 III| for a fortnight, and as she was sitting outside the
196 III| on the first morning that she got up, the farmer suddenly
197 III| affair is settled isn't it?" She did not reply at first,
198 III| with his piercing eyes, she said with difficulty: "No,
199 III| to know the reason why?" She began to cry, and repeated: "
200 III| Perhaps that is it," she replied, trembling with
201 III| Who is it, I say?" And as she gave him no answer, he continued: "
202 III| Jean Baudu?' "No, not he," she exclaimed. "Then it is Pierre
203 III| the neighborhood, while she denied that he had hit upon
204 III| Rose was choking, and she grew scarlet, while her
205 III| of water on hot iron, and she exclaimed: "No, it is not
206 III| partly guessed the truth; and she replied, hastily: "I will
207 III| will swear it to you -- " She tried to think of something
208 III| something by which to swear, as she did not venture to invoke
209 III| promise, eh?"~This time she looked her master straight
210 III| nothing to do with him." She spoke with such an air of
211 III| bottom of it, however."~She could say nothing; she had
212 III| She could say nothing; she had not the strength to
213 III| not?" "I cannot, master," she said, with a sigh, and he
214 III| and he turned on his heel.~She thought she had got rid
215 III| on his heel.~She thought she had got rid of him altogether
216 III| but was as exhausted as if she had been turning the thrashing
217 III| the old white horse, and she went to bed as soon as she
218 III| she went to bed as soon as she could and fell asleep immediately.
219 III| touching the bed woke her. She . trembled with fear, but
220 III| have come to speak to you." She was surprised at first,
221 III| take liberties with her she understood and began to
222 III| to tremble violently, as she felt quite alone in the
223 III| that man standing near her. She certainly did not consent,
224 III| certainly did not consent, but she resisted carelessly struggling
225 III| inert and gentle races. She turned her head now to the
226 III| tried to press on her, but she was weakened by fatigue,
227 III| get married next month."~She did not reply, for what
228 III| not reply, for what could she say? She did not resist,
229 III| for what could she say? She did not resist, for what
230 III| not resist, for what could she do?~
231 IV| PART IV~She married him. She felt as
232 IV| PART IV~She married him. She felt as if she were in a
233 IV| married him. She felt as if she were in a pit with inaccessible
234 IV| inaccessible sides from which she could never get out, and
235 IV| impression of a man whom she had robbed, and who would
236 IV| some day or other. And then she thought of her child, who
237 IV| happiness on earth, and whom she went to see twice a year,
238 IV| see twice a year, though she came back more unhappy each
239 IV| more unhappy each time.~But she gradually grew accustomed
240 IV| her heart was at rest, and she lived with an easier mind,
241 IV| until the child was six. She was almost happy now, when
242 IV| came for some eggs, and she spoke rather crossly to
243 IV| rather crossly to him, as she was very busy, her husband
244 IV| would not treat him so." She was hurt and did not reply,
245 IV| did not reply, and then she went back into the house,
246 IV| at last. In consequence she lost her composure, and
247 IV| was in total darkness, but she heard footsteps in the choir,
248 IV| with her eyes fixed on it, she fell on her knees. The chain
249 IV| through the increasing mist. She went up to him, as he was
250 IV| Monsieur le Cure at home?" she asked. "Of course he is;
251 IV| this is his dinnertime." She trembled as she rang the
252 IV| dinnertime." She trembled as she rang the bell of the parsonage.
253 IV| to say anything more, and she got up to go, but the priest
254 IV| priest said: "Courage."~And she went out and returned to
255 IV| farm without knowing what she was doing. The farmer was
256 IV| during her absence, and she fell heavily at his feet,
257 IV| shedding a flood of tears, she said to him: "What have
258 IV| When a cow has no calves she is not worth anything, and
259 IV| a woman has no children she is also not worth anything."~
260 IV| also not worth anything."~She began to cry, and said: "
261 V| V~From that day forward she had only one thought: to
262 V| have a child another child; she confided her wish to everybody,
263 V| the peasants around her, she prayed that she might be
264 V| around her, she prayed that she might be fruitful a second
265 V| it was in vain, and then she thought that she was being
266 V| and then she thought that she was being punished for her
267 V| for her first fault, and she was seized by terrible grief.
268 V| seized by terrible grief. She was wasting away with sorrow;
269 V| rain until daylight. As she did not obey him, he seized
270 V| face with his fists, but she said nothing and did not
271 V| her. Then in her despair she rebelled, and flinging him
272 V| with a furious gesture, she sat up, and in an altered
273 V| and in an altered voice she hissed: "I have had a child,
274 V| What are you saying?" Then she began to sob, and amid her
275 V| sob, and amid her tears she continued: "That was the
276 V| not want to marry you," she said, still sobbing.~Then
277 V| with his arms behind him. She was cowering on the bed
278 V| that you have no children?" She gave him no answer, and
279 V| your child?" "Just six," she whispered. "Why did you
280 V| he asked. "How could I?" she replied, with a sigh.~He
281 V| Come, get up," he said. She got up with some difficulty,
282 V| difficulty, and then, when she was standing on the floor,
283 V| and, seeing how surprised she was, he added: "Very well,
284 V| can have none together."~She was so scared that if she
285 V| She was so scared that if she had had the strength she
286 V| she had had the strength she would assuredly have run
287 V| and shouted out, as though she could not hear him: "Come
288 V| should not mind a plateful."~She put on her petticoat and
289 V| went downstairs; and While she was kneeling in front of
|