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| Dritëro Agolli The appassionata IntraText - Concordances (Hapax - words occurring once) |
Poem
1 1| 1~ I did not even tell 2 2| 2~ My father took his coat 3 3| 3~ The next day I was at 4 4| 4~ Burhan and Mira accompanied 5 5| 5~ I did not return to 6 6| 6~ Several days passed. 7 7| 7~ I never caught up to 8 8| 8~ I found my father lying 9 5| I was talking about, has abandoned his studies, and now he 10 1| Wagner, too, but not to be able to parrot the information. 11 3| with music when he knew absolutely nothing about it? He was 12 6| until the start of the next academic year. The head of personnel 13 4| choosy and would refuse to accept just any job. I turned towards 14 6| was being destroyed on my account and I was sitting here studying 15 7| had to be cleared up. One accusation was not enough to decide 16 4| with my father but I don’t accuse him of faults he doesn’t 17 7| office this morning and accused me of being indecent. He 18 4| wish to leave, my heart ached at the thought of no longer 19 8| he would complain of the aching caused by the scar.~ " 20 | across 21 1| boredom gets to you, you can act like a snob and take a dislike 22 2| people. A whole ministry acted on your behalf. And now, 23 7| afternoons in ‘immoral’ activities. He said I would have to 24 | actually 25 7| Gossip!"~ I began to admire this man who had such faith 26 5| good as the others," she admitted quietly.~ Just then, 27 4| themselves talented. They would adopt the attitudes and views 28 1| even now, although she had adopted some of my father’s shortcomings. 29 3| stared at my legs which were advancing mechanically.~ The three 30 5| hands. We get to follow his adventures at the dean’s office and 31 3| another three months," Burhan advised.~ I liked Burhan. He 32 5| back at two-thirty this afternoon. Where are you calling from? 33 7| we have been spending our afternoons in ‘immoral’ activities. 34 | against 35 7| He is fine. He has aged, too," I added.~ "Good 36 8| was a quarter of a century ago. Take Doko! He was a good 37 3| arduous field, too. What I was aiming at was the Faculty of Engineering. 38 7| s all nonsense. I won’t allow such slander to spread no 39 5| rectorate should never have allowed girls like that into the 40 | almost 41 | along 42 1| in the armchair.~ He altered his pose to look hurt, and 43 5| to quit the conservatory altogether. The dean’s office and the 44 1| but he came up with a real amateur.~ So, there was a possibility 45 7| Mira looked at me in amazement.~ "The statement of self-criticism 46 3| notice that anything was amiss.~ The bell rang and we 47 | among 48 6| Burhan.~ I jumped up angrily.~ "What a senseless sacrifice!" 49 8| grew pale. My mother became anxious. She knew nothing about 50 5| are you crying?" she asked anxiously.~ She stood beside me 51 7| voice.~ I stood a little apart from them. Mira turned towards 52 2| This hippy generation! Aping everything from the West! 53 1| The radio was playing the Appassionata. I loved that piece. It 54 6| to go back and had even applied for a job at the tractor 55 6| only one in a position to apply that kind of pressure. He 56 6| tell my father about my applying for a factory job because 57 7| stopped and looked at me apprehensively.~ "Someone at the dean’ 58 4| while he was so upset.~ Approaching the table, he seized my 59 1| was sure that she would approve of my decision, and be relieved 60 3| But this seemed to be an arduous field, too. What I was aiming 61 1| about the ‘Mr Reufi’.~ "Aren’t you pushing it a bit, 62 4| view of my father. I do argue with my father but I don’ 63 5| plates and cutlery. Our arguments always seem to be preceded 64 7| complicated problems had arisen. Yes, my father was behind 65 1| school. In his view, an artist in the family was proof 66 3| met at the Writers’ and Artists’ Union. Why bother? I would 67 7| explained.~ "I’m going to ask him if there is anything 68 1| others making fun of me or asking me with a smirk, "How many 69 6| father. There was another aspect to his move against Mira. 70 2| done, all the favours and assistance. If my colleagues find out 71 2| the dean’s office and they assured me you had talent but that 72 1| had never really wanted to attend at all, but my father insisted. 73 5| been told that he is not attending classes. He has been chasing 74 4| replied.~ From their attitude I saw that they had been 75 4| talented. They would adopt the attitudes and views of the gifted 76 8| the kitchen table was more audible than ever. I sat there counting 77 1| answered:~ "Mr Reufi is not available at the moment. May I transmit 78 3| head lowered, hoping to avoid having to talk to anyone. 79 5| right road, self-knowledge, awareness of your talents, of your 80 2| they will be put in a very awkward position. And it will be 81 4| gave us a look and then, backing off slowly, departed with 82 6| would not let even him speak badly of my father. Yet of course 83 2| fex! Girls!" he shouted, bathed in sweat and foaming at 84 1| a frown, he stroked his beard and then put his hands back 85 7| everything he told me. He beat around the bush. I have 86 5| prefer to spend the day in bed or whatever it is you’ve 87 | beginning 88 4| until the new school year begins. You can’t start university 89 2| whole ministry acted on your behalf. And now, after a mere five 90 3| at the conservatory, and believed that love must wait until 91 | below 92 2| impatient gesture which betrayed his anger.~ "Sit down!" 93 2| thick eyebrows and gave a big laugh which I was not expecting. 94 7| so insulted!" said Mira, biting her lower lip and with tears 95 5| those wiggling, giggling bits of skirt," he shouted, rising 96 5| We often give others the blame to save our own skin. You’ 97 7| but Mira all the way. I blamed my father, but I still could 98 5| save our own skin. You’re blaming her to defend me because 99 4| I stood staring at the blank wall for several moments. 100 8| him over?" I asked without blinking. "I couldn’t have. I would 101 6| thing like that," I said, blushing at my own lie. I hoped he 102 1| a bit vain and liked to boast about my father’s work. 103 4| sweetness pass through my body. Mira lowered her head. 104 4| penetrated the marrow of her bones. From time to time she shivered 105 4| of being a mediocrity, a boor. On graduation I would join 106 7| silence and came out of his booth. Quite unexpectedly he turned 107 4| now you are going to be bored stiff at home until the 108 1| snobbery. At times, when boredom gets to you, you can act 109 4| Burhan, my father wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his 110 6| tape recorder my father had bought for me. I had several plans. 111 1| looking down at the wet boulevard. People were rushing in 112 5| You’re an intelligent boy. Why shouldn’t you finish 113 3| the year. After the summer break you can register at the 114 8| the droplets which were breaking out on his forehead. I studied 115 4| I could feel his heavy breathing on the back of my neck. 116 1| haven’t. I could build a bridge or mount a turbine. Why 117 7| stood a short man with a brimmed hat. He was waiting for 118 4| the kitchen. I could not bring myself to sit down again. 119 1| intellectuals with their broad cultural horizons. He never 120 5| silence fell on the room, broken only by the clatter of plates 121 8| stood up and wrinkled his brow.~ "Take Doko? I think 122 1| But I haven’t. I could build a bridge or mount a turbine. 123 3| rather construct apartment buildings or dams anyway! And I have 124 7| who was carrying a heavy burden.~ At that moment, Mira 125 7| told me. He beat around the bush. I have never been so insulted!" 126 5| up with that ‘whatever’ business again.~ "All right, all 127 7| impeding the education of a cadre. He also claimed that I 128 5| tenderly.~ "Everyone calls him Mr Reufi on the phone. 129 2| towards me and added in a calmer voice, "This girl you’ve 130 | cannot 131 1| études, operas, operettas and cantatas resound all over the continent. 132 3| there, a cream-coloured car drove up. It swung around 133 6| and having a professional career first. He saw my relationship 134 5| in our house, but I was careful not to laugh. My mother 135 7| wise man but one who was carrying a heavy burden.~ At that 136 7| same day. They put us on a cart and drove us to the partisan 137 8| would complain of the aching caused by the scar.~ "Take Doko 138 5| behind my head staring at the ceiling, daydreaming. The other 139 8| That was a quarter of a century ago. Take Doko! He was a 140 1| to move me, though I am certainly no composer myself.~ 141 8| wall.~ "I met him by chance and he told me to convey 142 6| or be expelled. Then they changed their minds and decided 143 5| handkerchief to wipe a tear off my cheek.~ She smiled.~ "How 144 4| rose from the table, his cheeks scarlet. He did not like 145 4| their spoons. My father was chewing and his lips were making 146 4| your father, Arthur?" Mira chided.~ "I was just joking," 147 1| child in many ways. Just as children tend to imitate their parents, 148 3| want Mira to know about the chilly relations between my father 149 6| slowly with his hand to his chin. He walked down the hall 150 5| difficult for me. So I’d rather choose another road now. You think 151 4| important position I would be choosy and would refuse to accept 152 2| down. He took a packet of cigarettes and a lighter out of his 153 7| education of a cadre. He also claimed that I had brought other 154 5| room, broken only by the clatter of plates and cutlery. Our 155 5| talent for music. It was clear to me from the very start 156 7| misunderstanding had to be cleared up. One accusation was not 157 2| into his pocket.~ "Very clever," he murmured, taking his 158 3| and a black hat, he began climbing the stone staircase. He 159 4| she shivered and huddled close to me as if in search of 160 1| overly impressive.~ I closed the book and got up. Standing 161 4| gone, too. I stood there clutching my notebook and staring. 162 2| favours and assistance. If my colleagues find out what you have decided 163 1| convinced that all possible combinations of keys have already been 164 3| asked because whenever he comes here you look distressed," 165 2| hysteria, my father had committed one of his spoonerisms.~ " 166 5| We would have nothing in common. Unless of course I married 167 1| considered him the most competent and most important man in 168 8| weather was damp he would complain of the aching caused by 169 5| looked at me as if I were a complete stranger.~ "Me telling 170 1| turbine. Why should I have to compose a symphony or even a song?~ 171 3| written reviews on different composers for the cultural periodical 172 1| music. I was majoring in composition, and to be a composer means 173 7| father was wounding an old comrade, someone who had lain beside 174 2| whatever you want! Go ahead and concentrate on the girls and forget 175 2| that your thoughts are not concentrated on your studies, your sonatas 176 5| about important meetings of concern to the division he headed. 177 1| horizons. He never misses a concert even though I know for sure 178 3| must wait until after the conclusion of a mission undertaken. 179 1| father’s work. She would confide in the neighbours some would-be 180 6| Poor man, he was completely confused. At first they gave Mira 181 5| room.~ I trembled in confusion. I am not superstitious 182 5| My father is a hard and conscientious worker all right. I have 183 3| He may have been a bit conservative. He disliked all the flirting 184 4| part professionally. He considers us and everyone else his 185 8| father? The two of you are constantly at one another’s throats."~ " 186 3| Why bother? I would rather construct apartment buildings or dams 187 1| first few pages of the book contained a description of a fine 188 6| other way?" he said slowly, containing his anger. I blushed. His 189 1| cantatas resound all over the continent. A universe of sounds had 190 4| answer although I had not contradicted him.~ "You’re wasting 191 6| think about my father’s conversations and his criticism of her 192 5| sitting behind her, taking copious notes. My father was at 193 5| the next day. I lay on the couch with my hands behind my 194 2| on its way and decided to counter-attack: "Factors can change and 195 8| audible than ever. I sat there counting the ticking. From the bedroom 196 1| mother, who was from the countryside, had her own word for this 197 3| my notebook and wrote a couple of lines: ‘Mira, I’ve decided 198 3| didn’t enjoy the practical courses at all. The basic principles 199 4| to us and stopped. Mira cowered behind me. I could sense 200 1| sounds had already been created and to enter this universe 201 4| tone of his deep voice to a crescendo.~ "Enough now. Let him 202 6| not want to hear anyone criticize my father. Burhan was my 203 5| in his criticism. He once criticized his superior, Shemsedin, 204 5| me! I haven’t heard you cry since you were a child."~ " 205 4| squeezed them. I could feel a current of warmth and sweetness 206 5| more difficult for me. So I’d rather choose another road 207 8| now when the weather was damp he would complain of the 208 4| The wet street and the dampness in the air seemed to have 209 3| construct apartment buildings or dams anyway! And I have no talent 210 7| repeated the old man.~ "How dare he!" I cried passionately.~ " 211 5| gets up, sits down. He is daring in his criticism. He once 212 7| it all!~ When it got dark, I accompanied Mira back 213 5| staring at the ceiling, daydreaming. The other students were 214 5| we have to waste our time dealing with our son’s escapades, 215 7| accusation was not enough to decide someone’s fate.~ I got 216 1| quit the conservatory," I declared, sitting back in the armchair.~ 217 4| auditorium wall, I felt my total defeat, the futility of all my 218 4| I stood in front of him defiantly. I could feel that I was 219 1| export, or about politics. It depressed me to see her influenced 220 6| honesty descend to such depths, I wondered, as Burhan, 221 1| of the book contained a description of a fine sunny day. It 222 1| might fail the year. In desperation, I told my father that I 223 7| was a gleam in her eyes despite the sadness of her expression. 224 6| Someone’s future was being destroyed on my account and I was 225 6| daughter," Burhan said. "He was devastated. Poor man, he was completely 226 3| have written reviews on different composers for the cultural 227 4| the ranks of those with diplomas of higher education who 228 1| People were rushing in all directions, huddled under their umbrellas. 229 6| I am only the son of a director..."~ I went on at length, 230 6| I did not want Burhan to discover the full truth.~ "Listen, 231 1| office had met three times to discuss my work and had decided 232 5| it clattering in the soup dish.~ 233 5| was still rising from the dishes full of food. Then he stopped 234 1| act like a snob and take a dislike to whatever your family 235 2| repeated with a note of displeasure in his voice. "I succeeded 236 3| whenever he comes here you look distressed," she noted.~ "The shadow 237 3| The shadow of my father distresses me," I added.~ "What 238 5| meetings of concern to the division he headed. They all say 239 5| office perusing important documents about important meetings 240 7| away when I went up to the doorman and asked him to call Mira. 241 6| He was standing in the doorway with an umbrella in his 242 6| front of me.~ "I have my doubts, Arthur. Don’t misunderstand 243 7| what was his name? Oh yes, Dr Vasil Karakuli. I wonder 244 7| that you had gone down the drain because of me and that I 245 2| that Mira’s name had been drawn into the matter. Why should 246 7| I took her arm and drew her towards me.~ "You 247 3| the cultural periodical Drita and they would have turned 248 8| his hair and wiped off the droplets which were breaking out 249 2| forehead was perspiring. Drops of sweat had formed around 250 5| nice girl," I interrupted dryly. My father turned to me, 251 7| into his cream-coloured dufflecoat.~ Mira gave me her hand. 252 | each 253 5| t true. I simply have no ear for music."~ "Don’t be 254 3| was at the conservatory early in the morning. The first 255 5| Burhan has sandals for ears. Why should he be any better?" 256 2| everything from the West! East and West together!"~ 257 2| and under his nose at the edge of his moustache. What he 258 4| the futility of all my efforts. I became aware that my 259 6| English, poring through elementary texts and noting all the 260 2| And it will be extremely embarrassing for me, your father. I inquired 261 5| ways. I would become an engineer and she would be a musician. 262 3| for music itself, I didn’t enjoy the practical courses at 263 3| aesthetics.’ These lessons I enjoyed because they were less monotonous 264 1| their parents, my father enjoys imitating great intellectuals 265 1| already been created and to enter this universe you needed 266 5| There is a fundamental error in your thinking. I already 267 7| that I had recognized my errors, that I would put an end 268 5| time dealing with our son’s escapades, as if we didn’t have enough 269 1| knows nothing about music, especially symphonies, but he goes 270 1| songs, symphonies, sonatas, études, operas, operettas and cantatas 271 6| Everyone does," I replied evasively.~ Burhan rose to his 272 1| important man in town.~ One evening I got angry with her. Someone 273 7| verdant on those spring evenings, and the air was filled 274 5| have to go all the way back eventually, and that will make it all 275 4| the conservatory after an exam. I was the last student 276 4| was the last student to be examined. All the others had gone. 277 1| Arts and considered it an excellent school. In his view, an 278 7| faith in his daughter. I had expected to find an old man furious 279 2| big laugh which I was not expecting. He took out his striped 280 5| say that he works hard and expects everyone else to do the 281 6| Why?"~ "It’s hard to explain. It’s a bit complicated. 282 7| myself," I said without explaining any further.~ We walked 283 8| National Front. A shell exploded right next to us and we 284 1| about goods for import and export, or about politics. It depressed 285 6| I went on at length, expounding ideas which had been pent 286 3| thought to myself, my anger extending now to my father. Why this 287 6| how to use a lathe during extracurricular production work at secondary 288 2| position. And it will be extremely embarrassing for me, your 289 1| loved that piece. It never failed to move me, though I am 290 7| admire this man who had such faith in his daughter. I had expected 291 7| at all. They say she has fallen in with a group of bad girls, 292 1| mixture of rain and snow was falling outside. It was February. 293 6| Would my father go that far? Would a man known at work 294 1| day. It was the story of a farm manager and a milkmaid, 295 3| father. Why this pretentious fascination with music when he knew 296 7| enough to decide someone’s fate.~ I got off the bus and 297 4| but I don’t accuse him of faults he doesn’t have. What made 298 2| everything we have done, all the favours and assistance. If my colleagues 299 4| inferiority complex, from a feeling of being a mediocrity, a 300 7| happening, Mira?" I asked, feigning ignorance.~ Mira trembled 301 5| lunch."~ A heavy silence fell on the room, broken only 302 7| gossip, I tell you. Your fellow students said so," he added, 303 2| I asked.~ "The sair fex! Girls!" he shouted, bathed 304 8| lost in memories.~ I was fiddling with a pencil on the table, 305 8| Take Doko! He was a good fighter. Quite the hero! Why didn’ 306 8| throats."~ "We weren’t fighting. I spoke quite calmly," 307 5| intelligent boy. Why shouldn’t you finish your studies at the conservatory?"~ " 308 6| and raise a family without finishing my studies and having a 309 2| behalf. And now, after a mere five months, you intend to trample 310 3| conservative. He disliked all the flirting between the sexes at the 311 4| spoon and hurled it to the floor.~ "I am talking to you 312 2| tobacco and the lighter fluid.~ "Every stage of life," 313 2| shouted, bathed in sweat and foaming at the mouth.~ I couldn’ 314 6| said I could start work the following week. I had learned how 315 3| you see that I’m making a fool of myself, Burhan?" I said.~ 316 5| was taken by an ominous foreboding. It was true, I said to 317 2| concentrate on the girls and forget your solfeggios and studies. 318 7| said that?" I exclaimed, forgetting myself momentarily.~ 319 7| office. Wait a moment, I’ve forgotten his name."~ "Durgut!" 320 2| perspiring. Drops of sweat had formed around his mouth and under 321 2| gravely.~ "I told you frankly enough that I am quitting 322 6| with English and then learn French, too. Two languages are 323 6| Mira was on more than just friendly terms.~ "What male students?"~ " 324 1| not like it. He turned as frigid as winter. Stuffing his 325 1| under his trousers. With a frown, he stroked his beard and 326 5| to me, his heavy eyebrows frowning over eyes sparkling with 327 7| trembled as if she were frozen.~ "It is all so unbelievable. 328 5| want them to be. There is a fundamental error in your thinking. 329 5| This was one of the funniest scenes ever to have taken 330 1| Like history books. It’s funny, isn’t it?~ With Mira 331 | further 332 5| over eyes sparkling with fury.~ "We often defend those 333 4| felt my total defeat, the futility of all my efforts. I became 334 3| Engineering. What would I gain by becoming an art critic? 335 7| Mira appeared in the little garden, dressed in her blue coat. 336 3| nor Mira spoke. They, too, gazed out onto the courtyard. 337 2| this television! This hippy generation! Aping everything from the 338 3| idea that I am a musical genius.~ Pale and worn out, 339 8| We were shooting at the Germans and at the National Front. 340 4| attitudes and views of the gifted students and turn up their 341 5| talent at all. Has he been given an opportunity to use his 342 3| said to myself, Mira is glad to get rid of me. She is 343 7| dressed in her blue coat. I glanced towards the man. When he 344 8| kitchen sofa. He had his glasses on and was reading a book. 345 5| like a child. He writes, gnaws nervously at his pencil, 346 5| you’ve been doing."~ God, I thought to myself, he 347 1| especially symphonies, but he goes anyway. I find that irritating. 348 1| much education. She was a good-hearted soul, even now, although 349 1| of the ministries, about goods for import and export, or 350 5| talent? Yes. It is not the government’s fault. I have been told 351 2| from giggling. My father grabbed my arm. My giggling stopped 352 4| for music," he uttered, gradually bringing the tone of his 353 4| a mediocrity, a boor. On graduation I would join the ranks of 354 2| things from me," he said gravely.~ "I told you frankly 355 4| to follow the herd. They gravitated inertly towards the more 356 1| father enjoys imitating great intellectuals with their 357 8| his face vanished and he grew pale. My mother became anxious. 358 7| walk. The sky was cold and grey. There was snow in the air.~ " 359 7| she has fallen in with a group of bad girls, and all sorts 360 1| umbrellas. I could hear the rain gushing from our balcony onto the 361 4| hair covered one eye and half of her lovely face. She 362 2| room and stomped down the hallway.~ All alone, I was indignant 363 1| father stopped his pacing and halted in front of me.~ I thought 364 7| said Mira.~ "What’s happening, Mira?" I asked, feigning 365 6| walls and sacrificed her happiness for the sake of her husband 366 1| decision, and be relieved and happy about it. She would no longer 367 3| love with Burhan, if she hasn’t already. I was furious 368 8| in my hands.~ I had a headache.~ "Where have you been?" 369 4| right, and I’m also tired of hearing your accusations," I answered 370 7| do at the conservatory to help," he said. "It’s not the 371 4| continued to follow the herd. They gravitated inertly 372 8| good fighter. Quite the hero! Why didn’t you invite him 373 | herself 374 2| down!" he ordered.~ I hesitated for a moment on my long 375 6| umbrella in his hand.~ "Hi, Burhan!"~ He entered 376 1| staring at the short legs hidden under his trousers. With 377 4| of those with diplomas of higher education who are neither 378 6| man known at work for his honesty descend to such depths, 379 6| blushing at my own lie. I hoped he would not see through 380 1| with their broad cultural horizons. He never misses a concert 381 7| to spend the night at a hotel or at your friend’s place?"~ " 382 3| the morning. The first two hours were taken up by our third 383 5| have taken place in our house, but I was careful not to 384 4| studies I see," he said in a huff.~ "Our classes have just 385 4| in that auditorium was a huge mistake. The longer I stayed, 386 4| he seized my spoon and hurled it to the floor.~ "I 387 6| happiness for the sake of her husband who was very talented. But 388 2| laughed out loud. In his hysteria, my father had committed 389 6| sacrificed herself for an ideal. She was locked in behind 390 7| Mira?" I asked, feigning ignorance.~ Mira trembled as if 391 3| about it? He was completely ignorant in this field. Mr Reufi, 392 4| father sarcastically.~ I ignored him and continued to eat. 393 6| asked.~ He did not answer immediately. He looked over at the tape 394 1| I said with a gesture of impatience.~ "What do you mean?"~ " 395 2| for me."~ He made an impatient gesture which betrayed his 396 7| that I was responsible for impeding the education of a cadre. 397 1| ministries, about goods for import and export, or about politics. 398 4| Your father is an imposing figure."~ "He plays the 399 1| though they might well impress an outside observer. One 400 1| father insisted. He was impressed by the reputation of the 401 2| Factors can change and improve."~ He raised his eyes 402 2| wasting your time on matters incompatible with your studies, a fact 403 7| and accused me of being indecent. He said that you had gone 404 | indeed 405 2| hallway.~ All alone, I was indignant that Mira’s name had been 406 6| suspicious’? The future of an individual is at stake. Should we just 407 4| the herd. They gravitated inertly towards the more talented 408 4| suffer all my life from an inferiority complex, from a feeling 409 1| depressed me to see her influenced by my father’s vanity. She 410 2| on the recommendation of influential people. A whole ministry 411 1| to be able to parrot the information. I just read them for interest. 412 4| and continued to eat. It infuriated him to see me eating calmly 413 7| I imagine Nasi will insist that I stay," the father 414 1| attend at all, but my father insisted. He was impressed by the 415 4| and tractor plants, for instance."~ Burhan stopped. He 416 5| unbelievable!"~ "Don’t insult a nice girl," I interrupted 417 7| bush. I have never been so insulted!" said Mira, biting her 418 1| family was proof of superior intelligence. Although he holds an important 419 5| she asked. "You’re an intelligent boy. Why shouldn’t you finish 420 1| I told my father that I intended to quit the conservatory 421 1| The next day I was intending to go to the dean’s office 422 3| principles of aesthetics interested me. In fact, Mira suggested 423 4| said again.~ My mother interjected:~ "Do you want something 424 7| mouth. I was tempted to introduce myself but I decided to 425 8| the hero! Why didn’t you invite him home? We could have 426 2| matter. Why should she be involved?~ 427 1| nothing of the kind. An ironic smirk crossed my lips. My 428 3| I lied and regretted the irony in my voice. I did not want 429 1| goes anyway. I find that irritating. Perhaps I’m wrong; perhaps 430 1| Perhaps I’m wrong; perhaps my irritation is simply reverse snobbery. 431 | its 432 | itself 433 3| with us, and even made me jealous on occasion! I had the impression 434 3| too, but I never let my jealousy show. Nor did I say anything 435 1| mean?"~ "Mr Reufi," I jeered.~ "Your father is an 436 4| boor. On graduation I would join the ranks of those with 437 4| chided.~ "I was just joking," I said, giving a laugh.~ 438 5| limitations. Do you think you have justified yourself and convinced me?"~ 439 5| report to write he is all keyed up like a child. He writes, 440 4| to hold her hand or even kiss her? What is he waiting 441 6| nervously back and forth over my knees.~ "So what do we do?" 442 7| more than anything. Without knowing it, my father was wounding 443 6| go that far? Would a man known at work for his honesty 444 4| sensitive but something was lacking in me. I didn’t have the 445 8| father. She came over and laid her hand on his shoulder.~ " 446 8| succession of sighs and lamentations, interrupted only by my 447 1| ordered four paintings: landscapes and a still life. If he 448 6| then learn French, too. Two languages are enough. Any more than 449 6| had learned how to use a lathe during extracurricular production 450 2| straight face. I got up and laughed out loud. In his hysteria, 451 5| conservatory the next day. I lay on the couch with my hands 452 2| not too sure where he was leading.~ "The fair sex?" I asked.~ " 453 6| start with English and then learn French, too. Two languages 454 | least 455 7| walked up the lane that led to the residence. I had 456 6| director..."~ I went on at length, expounding ideas which 457 3| professor noticed us but was a lenient man and said nothing. I 458 3| were taken up by our third lesson in the ‘basic principles 459 3| Burhan. He was a sensible, level-headed person. He never learned 460 7| to Tirana right after the liberation."~ "Is that so? What 461 5| money on building a public library for a small town, a building 462 3| He understands," I lied and regretted the irony 463 5| of your talents, of your limitations. Do you think you have justified 464 3| recognized it as my father’s limousine. Yes! A moment later I saw 465 3| notebook and wrote a couple of lines: ‘Mira, I’ve decided to 466 6| of time unless you are a linguist.~ While I was reading 467 7| Whose son are you?"~ I live in Tirana but my parents 468 4| taking the defence.~ She loaded my plate with food and I 469 6| herself for an ideal. She was locked in behind four walls and 470 3| approached everything with logic and reason. We all liked 471 4| thought I would sit at home or loiter around in the streets doing 472 4| of us munching away, he loudly and I quietly.~ "Are 473 4| one eye and half of her lovely face. She was the only girl 474 3| field. Mr Reufi, the music lover. What a clown! It saddened 475 8| I could hear my father’s low voice, a succession of sighs 476 7| said Mira, biting her lower lip and with tears welling 477 2| handkerchief and wiped his eyes. Lowering his head, he placed it back 478 8| 8~ I found my father lying in his pyjamas on the kitchen 479 4| job in a factory. I like machine and tractor plants, for 480 3| that I should change my major and become an art critic. 481 1| talent for music. I was majoring in composition, and to be 482 | make 483 1| was the story of a farm manager and a milkmaid, which I 484 3| be embarrassed by my bad marks and my lack of talent. Obviously, 485 6| with her as the prelude to marriage. To save me from throwing 486 5| common. Unless of course I married her. My wife the musician. 487 4| seemed to have penetrated the marrow of her bones. From time 488 6| Mira. He did not want me to marry her and raise a family without 489 2| were wasting your time on matters incompatible with your studies, 490 | Maybe 491 1| composition, and to be a composer means to be a creator, and I am 492 3| legs which were advancing mechanically.~ The three of us stopped 493 4| from a feeling of being a mediocrity, a boor. On graduation I 494 5| Reufi? No, Mr Reufi has no meeting today. He will be back at 495 5| documents about important meetings of concern to the division 496 1| would-be secret about a staff member at one of the ministries, 497 8| said my father, lost in memories.~ I was fiddling with 498 2| behalf. And now, after a mere five months, you intend 499 7| courtyard.~ He was a few metres away when I went up to the 500 4| can’t start university in mid-semester," said Burhan.~ Mira