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Andon Zako Çajupi
After Death

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Scene 12
Lulushe, Adham-Uti

Lulushe (frightened): A vampire, a vampire! Come no closer! Go away. Away with you!
Adham-Uti (surprised): What, me? A vampire? What is this woman talking about?
Lulushe (horrified): A vampire and a devil! (she makes the sign of the cross)
Adham-Uti (solemnly): I beg your pardon, madam. I may be a bit dirty or not overly attractive, but I am certainly not a vampire. Only the dead can turn into vampires!
Lulushe: What? You are not dead?
Adham-Uti: I’m as alive as they come!
Lulushe: Good Lord, are you absolutely sure?
Adham-Uti: I swear to God.
Lulushe: Then I must apologize. I thought you were dead!
Adham-Uti: Why is that? Who told you so?
Lulushe: I read your obituary here and...
Adham-Uti: Oh, now I understand...
Lulushe: I thought it was true. And from what Zeneli told me...
Adham-Uti: Let me have a look at the text.
Lulushe: No, no! Let me read it to you. You will see for yourself that whoever it is about would seem to be thoroughly dead. (she reads the obituary) "Today we learned that Adham-Uti, a self-proclaimed healer, gave up the ghost. The deceased, although not overly clever in his own right, became wealthy due to his wife’s fortune. It is not known where he came from. We have been informed only that this charlatan let his own mother starve to death last year. The swindler regarded himself as a great man and tricked all the people around him with his sly talk. Rumour has it that he attempted to poison his wife to get her inheritance. With such a heart of stone, it is a good thing that he died of a stroke last night when the cock crowed. Let dregs cover dregs!"
Adham-Uti (furious): That is what he wrote about me?
Lulushe: That’s it.
Adham-Uti: How cruel can people be? Me, not overly clever? Me, a charlatan?
Lulushe: Absolutely incredible.
Adham-Uti: And that I died of a stroke? Let dregs cover dregs?
Lulushe: But we are not made of mud and dregs.
Adham-Uti: I am supposed to have died of a stroke? Why a stroke? How do they know I didnt die of rabies or of anthrax?
Lulushe: That is a very good question.
Adham-Uti: An evil person, me? What do you think?
Lulushe: I think you are a... fine person.
Adham-Uti: Oh, a world of deceit indeed. People have praised me all my life, and when I die, they call me evil, they insult me, they throw mud at me! Oh, Oh... (Zeneli enters)




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