THE FIRST NOVELL

 

    REPREHENDING THE FOLLY OF SUCH MEN, AS UNDERTAKE TO REPORT

     DISCOURSES, WHICH ARE BEYOND THEIR WIT AND CAPACITY, AND

                 GAINE NOTHING BUT BLAME FOR THEIR LABOUR

 

  A Knight requested Madam Oretta, to ride behinde him on horse-backe,

and promised, to tell her an excellent Tale by the way. But the Lady

perceiving, that his discourse was idle, and much worse delivered:

entreated him to let her walke on foote againe.

 

  Gracious Ladies, like as in our faire, cleere, and serene seasons,

the Starres are bright ornaments to the heavens, and the flowry fields

(so long as the spring time lasteth) weare their goodliest Liveries,

the Trees likewise bragging in their best adornings: Even so at

friendly meetings, short, sweet, and sententious words, are the beauty

and ornament of any discourse, savouring of wit and sound judgement,

worthily deserving to be commended. And so much the rather, because in

few and witty words, aptly suting with the time and occasion, more

is delivered then was expected, or sooner answered, then rashly

apprehended: which, as they become men verie highly, yet do they

shew more singular in women.

  True it is, what the occasion may be, I know not, either by the

badnesse of our wittes, or the especiall enmitie betweene our

complexions and the celestiall bodies: there are scarsely any, or very

few Women to be found among us, that well knowes how to deliver a

word, when it should and ought to be spoken; or, if a question bee

mooved, understands to suite it with an apt answere, such as

conveniently is required, which is no meane disgrace to us women.

But in regard, that Madame Pampinea hath already spoken sufficiently

of this matter, I meane not to presse it any further: but at this time

it shall satisfie mee, to let you know, how wittily a Ladie made due

observation of opportunitie, in answering of a Knight, whose talke

seemed tedious and offensive to her.

  No doubt there are some among you, who either do know, or (at the

least) have heard, that it is no long time since, when there dwelt a

Gentlewoman in our Citie, of excellent grace and good discourse,

with all other rich endowments of Nature remaining in her, as pitty it

were to conceale her name: and therefore let me tell ye, that shee was

called Madame Oretta, the Wife to Signior Geri Spina. She being upon

some occasion (as now we are) in the Countrey, and passing from

place to place (by way of neighbourly invitations) to visite her

loving Friends and Acquaintance, accompanied with divers Knights and

Gentlewomen, who on the day before had dined and supt at her house, as

now (belike) the selfe-same courtesie was intended to her: walking

along with her company upon the way; and the place for her welcome

beeing further off then she expected; a Knight chanced to overtake

this faire troop, who well knowing Madam Oretta, using a kinde and

courteous salutation, spake thus.

  Madam, this foot travell may bee offensive to you, and were you so

well pleased as my selfe, I would ease your journey behinde mee on

my Gelding, even so as you shall command me: and beside, wil shorten

your wearinesse with a Tale worth the hearing. Courteous Sir

(replyed the Lady) I embrace your kinde offer with such acceptation,

that I pray you to performe it; for therein you shall doe me an

especiall favour. The Knight, whose Sword (perhappes) was as

unsuteable to his side, as his wit out of fashion for any readie

discourse, having the Lady mounted behinde him rode on with a gentle

pace, and (according to his promise) began to tell a Tale, which

indeede (of it selfe) deserved attention, because it was a knowne

and commendable History, but yet delivered so abruptly, with idle

repetitions of some particulars three or foure severall times,

mistaking one thing for another, and wandering erroneously from the

essentiall subject, seeming neere an end, and then beginning againe:

that a poore Tale could not possibly be more mangled, or worse

tortured in telling, then this was; for the persons therein concerned,

were so abusively nicke-named, their actions and speeches so

monstrously mishapen, that nothing could appeare to be more ugly.

  Madame Oretta, being a Lady of unequalled ingenuitie, admirable in

judgement, and most delicate in her speech, was afflicted in soule,

beyond all measure; overcome with many colde sweates, and passionate

heart-aking qualmes, to see a Foole thus in a Pinne-fold, and unable

to get out, albeit the doore stood wide open to him, whereby shee

became so sicke; that, converting her distaste to a kinde of

pleasing acceptation, merrily thus she spake. Beleeve me Sir, your

horse trots so hard, and travels so uneasily; that I entreate you to

let me walke on foot againe.

  The Knight, being (perchance) a better understander, then a

Discourser; perceived by this witty taunt, that his Bowle had run a

contrarie bias, and he as farre out of Tune, as he was from the Towne.

So, lingering the time, untill her company was neerer arrived: hee

lefte her with them, and rode on as his Wisedome could best direct

him.