THE THIRD NOVELL

 

       WHEREIN IS DECLARED, THAT MOCKERS DO SOMETIMES MEETE WITH

           THEIR MATCHES IN MOCKERY, AND TO THEIR OWNE SHAME

 

  Madame Nonna de Pulci, by a sodaine answere, did put to silence a

Byshop of Florence, and the Lord Marshall: having moved a question

to the said Lady, which seemed to come short of honesty.

 

  When Madame Pampinea had ended her Discourse, and (by the whole

company) the answere and bounty of Cistio, had past with deserved

commendation: it pleased the Queene, that Madame Lauretta should

next succeed: whereupon verie chearefully thus she beganne.

  Faire assembly, Madame Pampinea (not long time since) gave

beginning, and Madam Philomena hath also seconded the same argument,

concerning the slender vertue remaining in our sexe, and likewise

the beautie of wittie words, delivered on apt occasion, and in

convenient meetings. Now, because it is needlesse to proceede any

further, then what hath beene already spoken: let mee onely tell you

(over and beside) and commit it to memorie, that the nature of

meetings and speeches are such, as they ought to nippe or touch the

hearer, like unto the Sheepes nibling on the tender grasse, and not as

the sullen Dogge byteth. For, if their biting be answereable to the

Dogges, they deserve not to be termed witty jests or quips, but

foule and offensive language: as plainly appeareth by the words of

Madame Oretta, and the mery, yet sensible answer of Cistio.

  True it is, that if it be spoken by way of answer, and the

answerer biteth doggedly, because himselfe was bitten in the same

manner before: he is the lesse to bee blamed, because hee maketh

payment but with coine of the same stampe. In which respect, an

especiall care is to bee had, how, when, with whom, and where we

jest or gibe, whereof very many proove too unmindfull, as appeared

(not long since) by a Prelate of ours, who met with a byting, no lesse

sharpe and bitter, then had first come from himselfe before, as

verie briefely I intend to tell you how.

  Messer Antonio d'Orso, being Byshoppe of Florence, a vertuous, wise,

and reverend Prelate; it fortuned that a Gentleman of Catalogna, named

Messer Diego de la Ratta, and Lord Marshall to King Robert of

Naples, came thither to visite him. Hee being a man of very comely

personage, and a great observer of the choysest beauties in Court:

among all the other Florentine Dames, one proved to bee most

pleasing in his eye, who was a verie faire Woman indeede, and Neece to

the Brother of the saide Messer Antonio.

  The Husband of this Gentlewoman (albeit descended of a worthie

Family) was, neverthelesse, immeasurably covetous, and a verie harsh

natured man. Which the Lord Marshall understanding, made such a

madde composition with him, as to give him five hundred Ducates of

Gold, on condition, that hee would let him lye one night with his

wife, not thinking him so base minded as to give consent. Which in a

greedy avaritious humour he did, and the bargaine being absolutely

agreed on; the Lord Marshall prepared to fit him with a payment,

such as it should be. He caused so many peeces of silver to be

cunningly guilded, as then went for currant mony in Florence, and

called Popolines, and after he had lyen with the Lady (contrary to her

will and knowledge, her husband had so closely carried the

businesse) the money was duely paid to the cornuted Coxcombe.

Afterwards, this impudent shame chanced to be generally knowne,

nothing remaining to the wilful Wittoll, but losse of his expected

gaine, and scorne in every place where he went. The Bishop likewise

(beeing a discreete and sober man) would seeme to take no knowledge

thereof; but bare out all scoffes with a well setled countenance.

  Within a short while after, the Bishop and the Lord Marshal (alwaies

conversing together) it came to passe, that upon Saint johns day, they

riding thorow the City, side by side, and viewing the brave

beauties, which of them might best deserve to win the prize: the

Byshop espied a yong married Lady (which our late greevous

pestilence bereaved us of) she being named Madame Nonna de Pulci,

and Cousine to Messer Alexio Rinucci, a Gentleman well knowne unto

us all. A very goodly beautifull yong woman she was, of delicate

language, and singular spirite, dwelling close by S. Peters gate. This

Lady did the Bishop shew to the Marshall, and when they were come to

her, laying his hand uppon her shoulder, he said. Madam Nonna, What

thinke you of this Gallant? Dare you adventure another wager with him?

  Such was the apprehension of this witty Lady, that these words

seemed to taxe her honour, or else to contaminate the hearers

understanding, whereof there were great plenty about her, whose

judgement might be as vile, as the speeches were scandalous.

Wherefore, never seeking for any further purgation of her cleare

conscience, but onely to retort taunt for taunt, presently thus she

replied. My Lord, if I should make such a vile adventure, I would

looke to bee payde with better money.

  These words being heard both by the Bishop and Marshall, they felt

themselves touched to the quicke, the one, as the Factor or Broker,

for so dishonest a businesse, to the Brother of the Bishop; and the

other, as receiving (in his owne person) the shame belonging to his

Brother. So, not so much as looking each on other, or speaking one

word together all the rest of that day, they rode away with blushing

cheekes. Whereby we may collect, that the yong Lady, being so

injuriously provoked, did no more then well became her, to bite

their basenesse neerely, that so abused her openly.