THE FIRST NOVELL

 

       REPREHENDING THE SIMPLICITY OF SOME SOTTISH HUSBANDS: AND

      DISCOVERING THE WANTON SUBTILTIES OF SOME WOMEN, TO COMPASSE

                        THEIR UNLAWFULL DESIRES

 

  John of Lorraine heard one knocke at his doore in the night time,

whereuppon he awaked his Wife Monna Tessa. She made him beleeve,

that it was a Spirit which knocked at the doore, and so they arose,

going both together to conjure the Spirit with a prayer; and

afterwardes, they heard no more knocking.

 

  My Gracious Lord (quoth Madame Aemillia) it had bene a matter highly

pleasing to mee, that any other (rather then my selfe) should have

begun to speake of this argument, which it hath pleased you to apoint.

But seeing it is your Highnesse pleasure, that I must make a passage

of assurance for all the rest; I will not be irregular, because

obedience is our cheefe Article. I shall therefore (Gracious Ladies)

strive, to speake something, which may bee advantageable to you

heereafter, in regard, that if other women bee as fearfull as we,

especially of Spirits, of which all our sexe have generally bin

timorous (although, upon my credite, I know not what they are, nor

ever could meete with any, to tell me what they be) you may, by the

diligent observation of my Novell: learne a wholsome and holy

prayer, very availeable, and of precious power, to conjure and drive

them away, whensoever they shall presume to assault you in any place.

  There dwelt sometime in Florence, and in the street of Saint

Brancazio, a woollen Weaver, named John of Lorrayne; a man more

happy in his Art, then wise in any thing else beside: because,

savouring somewhat of the Gregorie, and (in very deede)

  little lesse then an Ideot; Hee was many times made Captain of the

Woollen Weavers, in the quarters belonging to Santa Maria Novella, and

his house was the Schoole or receptacle, for all their meetings and

assemblies. He had divers other petty Offices beside, by the gnity and

authority whereof, hee supposed himselfe much exalted or elevated,

above the common pitch of other men. And this humour became the more

tractable to him, because he addicted himselfe oftentimes (as being

a man of an easie inclination) to be a benefactor to the holy

Fathers of Santa Maria Novella, giving (beside his other charitable

Almes) to some one a paire of Breeches, to another a Hood, and to

another a whole habit. In reward whereof, they taught him (by heart)

many wholsome prayers, as the Pater noster in the vulgar tongue; the

Song of Saint Alexis; the Lamentations of Saint Bernard, the Hymne

of Madame Matilda, and many other such like matters, which he kept

charily, and repeated usually, as tending to the salvation of his

soule.

  This man, had a very faire and lovely wife, named Monna Tessa, the

daughter of Manuccio della Cuculia, wise and well advised; who knowing

the simplicity of her Husband, and affecting Frederigo di Neri

Pegolotti, who was a comely yong Gentleman, fresh, and in the floure

of his time, even as she was, therefore they agreed the better

together. By meanes of her Chambermaid, Frederigo and shee met often

together, at a Countrie Farme of John of Lorraynes, which hee had

neere to Florence, and where she used to lodge all the Summer time,

called Camerata, whether John resorted somtimes to Supper, and lodge

for a night, returning home againe to his City house the next morning;

yet often he would stay there longer with his owne companions.

  Frederigo, who was no meane man in his Mistresses favor, and

therefore these private meetings the more welcome to him; received a

summons or assignation from her, to be there on such a night, when hir

husband had no intent of comming thither. There they supped merrily

together, and (no doubt) did other things, nothing appertaining to our

purpose, she both acquainting, and well instructing him, in a dozen

(at the least) of her Husbands devout prayers. Nor did shee make any

account, or Frederigo either, that this should be the last time of

their meeting, because (indeede) it was not the first: and therfore

they set downe an order and conclusion together (because the

Chambermaide must be no longer the messenger) in such manner as you

shall heare.

  Frederigo was to observe especially, that alwayes when hee went or

came from his owne house, which stood much higher then John of

Lorraynes did, to looke upon a Vine, closely adjoyning to her house,

where stood the scull of an Asses head, advanced upon an high pole;

and when the face thereof looked towards Florence, he might safely

come, it being an assured signe, that John kept at home. And if he

found the doore fast shut, he should softly knocke three severall

times, and thereon bee admitted entrance. But if the face stood

towards Fiesola; then he might not come, for it was the signe of Johns

being there, and then there might be no medling at all.

  Having thus agreed upon this conclusion, and had many merry meetings

together: one night above the rest, when Frederigo was appointed to

suppe with Monna Tessa, who had made ready two fat Capons, drest in

most dainty and delicate manner: it fell out so unfortunately, that

John (whose Kue was not to come that night) came thither very late,

yet before Frederigo, wherewith she being not a little offended,

gave John a slight supper, of Lard, Bacon, and such like coarse

provision, because the other was kept for a better guest. In the meane

time, and while John was at supper, the Maide (by her Mistresses

direction) had conveighed the two Capons, with boyled Eggs, Bread

and a Bottle of Wine (all folded up in a faire cleane table cloth)

into her Garden, that a passage to it, without entering into the

house, and where shee had divers times supt with Frederigo. She

further willed the Maide, to set all those things under a Peach

tree, which adjoyned to the fields side: but, so angry she was at

her husbands unexpected comming, that shee forgot to bid her tarrie

there, till Frederigoes comming, and to tell him of Johns being there:

as also, to take what he found prepared readie for his Supper.

  John and she being gone to bed together, and the Maide likewise,

it was not long after, before Frederigo came, and knocking once softly

at the doore, which was very neere to their lodging Chamber, John

heard the noise, and so did his wife. But to the end, that John

might not have the least scruple of suspition, she seemed to be fast

asleepe; and Frederigo pausing a while, according to the order

directed, knockt againe the second time. John wondering thereat very

much, jogd his wife a litle, and saide to her: Tessa, hearest thou

nothing? Methinkes one knocketh at our doore. Monna Tessa, who was

better acquainted with the knocke, then plaine honest meaning John

was, dissembling as if shee awaked out of a drowsie dreame, saide:

Alas Husband, dost thou know what this is? In the name of our

blessed Ladie, be not affraid, this is but the Spirit which haunts our

Countrey houses, whereof I have often told thee, and it hath many

times much dismayed me, living heere alone without thy comfort. Nay,

such hath bin my feare, that in divers nights past, so soone as I

heard the knockes: I was feigne to hide my selfe in the bedde

over-head and eares (as we usually say) never daring to be so bold, as

to looke out, untill it was broad open day. Arise good wife (quoth

John) and if it be such a Spirit of the Countrey, as thou talkest

of, never be affraid; for before we went to bed, I said the Telucis,

the Intemerata, with many other good prayers beside. Moreover, I

made the signe of the Crosse at every corner of our bed, in the name

of the Father, Son, and holy Ghost, so that no doubt at all needs to

be made, of any power it can have to hurt or touch us.

  Monna Tessa, because (perhaps) Frederigo might receive some other

suspition, and so enter into distaste of her by anger or offence:

determined to arise indeede, and to let him covertly understand,

that John was there, and therefore saide to her husband. Beleeve me

John, thy counsell is good, and every one of thy words hath wisedome

in it: but I hold it best for our owne safety, thou being heere;

that wee should conjure him quite away, to the end he may never more

haunt our house. Conjure him Wife? Quoth John, By what meanes? and

how? Bee patient good man (quoth Tessa) and I will enstruct thee, I

have learned an excellent kinde of conjuration; for, the last weeke,

when I went to procure the pardons at Fiesola, one of the holy recluse

Nuns, who (indeede John) is my indeered Sister and Friend, and the

most sanctimonius in life of them all; perceiving me to be troubled

and terrified by Spirits; taught me a wholsome and holy prayer, and

protested withall, that shee had often made experiment thereof, before

she became a Recluse, and found it (alwayes) a present helpe to her.

Yet never durst I adventure to essay it, living heere by my selfe

all alone: but honest John, seeing thou art heere with me, we will

go both together, and conjure this Spirit. John replyed, that he was

very willing; and being both up, they went fayre and softly to the

doore, where Frederigo stoode still without, and was growne somewhat

suspitious of his long attendance.

  When they were come to the doore, Monna Tessa said to John: Thou

must cough and spet, at such time as I shall bid thee. Well (quoth

John) I will not faile you. Immediately she beganne her prayer in this

manner.

 

  Spirit, that walkst thus in the night,

  Poore Countrey people to affright:

  Thou hast mistane thy marke and ayme,

  The head stood right, but John home came,

  And therefore thou must packe away,

  For I have nothing else to say:

  But to my Garden get the gone,

  Under the Peach-tree stands alone,

  There shalt thou finde two Capons drest,

  And Egges laide in mine owne Hennes nest,

  Bread, and a Bottle of good Wine,

  All wrapt up in a cloath most fine.

  Is not this good Goblins fare?

  Packe and say you have your share;

  Not doing harme to John or me,

  Who this night keepes me companie.

 

  No sooner had she ended her devoute conjuring prayer, but she

saide to her husband: Now John, cough and spet: which John accordingly

did. And Frederigo, being all this while without, hearing her witty

conjuration of a Spirit, which he himselfe was supposed to be, being

ridde of his former jealous suspition: in the middst of all his

melancholy, could very hardly refraine from laughing, the jest

appeared so pleasing to him: But when John cought and spet, softly

he said to himselfe: When next thou spetst, spet out all thy teeth.

  The woman having three severall times conjured the Spirite, in

such manner as you have already heard; returned to bed againe with her

husband: and Frederigo, who came as perswaded to sup with her, being

supperlesse all this while; directed by the words of Monna Tessa in

hir praier, went into the Garden. At the foot of the Peach-tree, there

he found the linnen cloth, with the two hot Capons, Bread, Egges,

and a Bottle of Wine in it, all which he carried away with him, and

went to Supper at better leysure. Oftentimes afterward, upon other

meetings of Frederigo and she together, they laughed heartily at her

enchantment, and the honest beleefe of silly John.

  I cannot deny, but that some do affirme, that the Woman had turned

the face of the Asses head towards Fiesola, and a Country Travailer

passing by the Vine, having a long piked staffe on his necke: the

staffe (by chance) touched the head, and made it turne divers times

about, and in the end faced Florence, which being the cal for

Frederigoes comming, by this meanes he was disappointed. In like

manner some say, that Monna Tessaes prayer for conjuring the Spirit,

was in this order.

 

  Spirit, Spirit, thy way,

  And come againe some other day.

  It was not I that turnd the head,

  But some other. In our Bed

  Are John and I: Go from our dore,

  And see thou trouble us no more.

 

  So that Frederigo departed thence, both with the losse of his labour

and supper. But a neighbour of mine, who is a woman of good yeares,

told me, that both the one and other were true, as she her selfe

heard, when she was a little Girle. And concerning the latter

accident, it was not to John of Lorrayne, but to another, named John

de Nello, that dwelt at S. Peters Gate, and of the same profession

as John of Lorrayne was. Wherefore (faire Ladies) it remaineth in your

owne choice, to entertain which of the two prayers you please, or both

together if you will: for they are of extraordinary vertue in such

strange occurrences, as you have heeretofore heard, and (upon doubt)

may prove by experience. It shall not therefore be amisse for you,

to learne them both by hart, for (peradventure) they may stand you

in good sted, if ever you chance to have the like occasion.