THE SECOND NOVELL

 

   WHEREIN IS DECLARED, WHAT HARD AND NARROW SHIFTS AND DISTRESSES,

   SUCH AS BEE SERIOUSLY LINKED IN LOVE, ARE MANY TIMES ENFORCED TO

      UNDERGO: ACCORDING AS THEIR OWNE WIT, AND CAPACITIE OF THEIR

                SURPRIZERS, DRIVE THEM TO IN EXTREMITIES

 

  Peronella hid a yong man her friend and Lover, under a great brewing

Fat, upon the sodaine returning home of her Husband; who told her,

that hee had solde the saide Fat and brought him that bought it, to

cary it away. Peronella replyed, that shee had formerly solde it

unto another, who was now underneath it, to see whether it were

whole and sound, or no. Whereupon, he being come forth from under

it; she caused her Husband to make it neate and cleane, and so the

last buyer carried it away.

 

  Not without much laughter and good liking, was the Tale of Madame

Aemillia listened unto, and both the prayers commended to be sound and

soveraigne: but it being ended, the King commaunded Philostratus, that

hee should follow next in order, whereupon thus he began.

  Deare Ladies, the deceites used by men towards your sexe, but

especially Husbands, have bene so great and many, as when it hath

sometime happened, or yet may, that husbands are requited in the

self-same kinde: you need not finde fault at any such accident, either

by knowledge thereof afterward, or hearing the same reported by any

one; but rather you should referre it to generall publication, to

the end, that immodest men may know, and finde it for trueth, that

if they have apprehension and capacity; women are therein not a jote

inferiour to them. Which cannot but redound to your great benefite,

because, when any one knoweth, that another is as cunning and

subtile as himselfe; he will not be so rashly adventurous in

deceite. And who maketh any doubt, that if those sleights and trickes,

whereof this dayes argument may give us occasion to speake, should

afterwardes be put in execution by men: would it not minister just

reason, of punishing themselves for beguiling you, knowing, that (if

you please) you have the like abilitie in your owne power? Mine intent

therefore is to tell you, what a woman (though but of meane

qualitie) did to her husband, upon a sodaine, and in a moment (as it

were) for her owne safety.

  Not long since, there lived in Naples, an honest meane man, who

did take to Wife, a fayre and lustie young Woman, being named

Peronella.-He professing the Trade of a Mason, and shee Carding and

Spinning, maintained themselves in a reasonable condition, abating and

abounding as their Fortunes served. It came to passe, that a

certayne young man, well observing the beauty and good parts of

Peronella, became much addicted in affection towardes her: and by

his often and secret sollicitations, which he found not to be

unkindely entertayned; his successe proved answerable to his hope,

no unindifferencie appearing in their purposes, but where her estate

seemed weakest, his supplies made an addition of more strength.

  Now, for their securer meeting, to stand cleare from all matter of

scandal or detection, they concluded in this order between themselves.

Lazaro, for so was Peronellaes Husband named, being an earely riser

every morning, either to seeke for worke, or to effect it being

undertaken: this amorous friend being therewith acquainted, and

standing in some such convenient place, where hee could see Lazaroes

departure from his house, and yet himselfe no way discerned; poore

Lazaro was no sooner gone, but presently he enters the house, which

stood in a verie solitarie street, called the Avorio. Many mornings

had they thus met together, to their no meane delight and

contentation, till one especial morning among the rest, when Lazaro

was gone forth to worke, and Striguario (so was the amorous young

man named) visiting Peronella in the house: upon a verie urgent

occasion, Lazaro returned backe againe, quite contrary to his former

wont, keeping foorth all day, and never comming home till night.

  Finding his doore to be fast lockt, and he having knockt softlie

once or twice, he spake in this manner to himselfe. Fortune I thanke

thee, for albeit thou hast made mee poore, yet thou hast bestowed a

better blessing on me, in matching me with so good, honest, and loving

a Wife. Behold, though I went early out of my house, her selfe hath

risen in the cold to shut the doore, to prevent the entrance of

theeves, or any other that might offend us. Peronella having heard

what her husband sayde, and knowing the manner of his knocke, said

fearfully to Striguario. Alas deare friend, what shall wee doe? I am

little lesse then a dead Woman: For, Lazaro my Husband is come backe

again, and I know not what to do or say. He never returned in this

order before now, doubtlesse, hee saw when you entred the doore; and

for the safety of your honour and mine: creepe under this brewing Fat,

till I have opened the doore, to know the reason of his so soone

returning.

  Striguario made no delaying of the matter, but got himselfe closelie

under the Fat, and Peronella opening the doore for her husbands

enterance, with a frowning countenance, spake thus unto him. What

meaneth this so early returning home againe this morning? It

seemeth, thou intendest to do nothing to day, having brought backe thy

tooles in thy hands? If such be thine intent, how shall we live? Where

shal we have bread to fill our bellies? Dooest thou thinke, that I

will suffer thee to pawne my gowne, and other poore garments, as

heeretofore thou hast done? I that card and spinne both night and day,

till I have worne the flesh from my fingers; yet all will hardly finde

oyle to maintaine our Lampe. Husband, husband, there is not one

neighbour dwelling by us, but makes a mockerie of me, and tels me

plainly, that I may be ashamed to drudge and moyle as I do;

wondering not a little, how I am able to endure it; and thou returnest

home with thy hands in thy hose, as if thou hadst no worke at all to

do this day.

  Having thus spoken, she fell to weeping, and then thus began

again. Poore wretched woman as I am, in an unfortunate houre was I

borne, and in a much worse, when I was made thy Wife. I could have had

a proper, handsome yong man; one, that would have maintained mee brave

and gallantly: but, beast as I was, to forgoe my good, and cast my

selfe away on such a beggar as thou art, and whom none wold have

had, but such an Asse as I. Other women live at hearts ease, and in

jollity, have their amorous friends and loving Paramours, yea, one,

two, three at once, making their husbands looke like a Moone cressent,

wheron they shine Sun-like, with amiable lookes, because they know not

how to helpe it: when I (poore foole) live heere at home a miserable

life, not daring once to dreame of such follies, an innocent soule,

heartlesse and harmelesse.

  Many times, sitting and sighing to my selfe: Lord, thinke I, of what

mettall am I made? Why should not I have a Friend in a corner,

aswell as others have? I am flesh and blood, as they are, not made

of brasse or iron, and therefore subject to womens frailty. would thou

shouldest know it husband, and I tell it thee in good earnest; That if

I would doe ill, I could quickely finde a friend at a neede.

Gallants there are good store, who (of my knowledge) love me

dearely, and have made me very large and liberall promises, of

Golde, Silver, jewels, and gay Garments, if I would extend them the

least favour. But my heart will not suffer me, I never was the

daughter of such a mother, as had so much as a thought of such

matters: no, I thanke our blessed Ladie, and S. Friswid for it: and

yet thou returnest home againe, when thou shouldst be at Worke.

  Lazaro, who stoode all this while like a well-beleeving Logger-head,

demurely thus answered. Alas good Wife! I pray you bee not so angry, I

never had so much as an ill thought of you, but know wel enough what

you are, and have made good proofe thereof this morning. Understand

therefore patiently (sweet Wife) that I went forth to my work as dayly

I use to do, little dreaming (as I thinke you doe not) that it had

bene Holyday. Wife, this is the Feast day of Saint Galeone; whereon we

may in no wise worke, and this is the reason of my so soone returning.

Neverthelesse (dear Wife) I was not carelesse of our Houshold

provision: For, though we worke not, yet we must have foode, which I

have provided for more then a moneth. Wife, I remembred the brewing

Fat, whereof we have little or no use at all, but rather it is a

trouble to the house, then otherwise. I met with an honest Friend, who

stayeth without at the doore, to him I have sold the Fat for ten

Gigliatoes, and he tarrieth to take it away with him.

  How Husband? replied Peronella, Why now I am worse offended then

before. Thou that art a man, walkest every where, and shouldst be

experienced in worldly affaires: wouldst thou bee so simple, as to

sell such a brewing Fat for ten Gigliatoes? Why, I that am a poore

ignorant woman, a house Dove, sildome going out of my doore: have sold

it already for twelve Gigliatoes, to a very honest man, who (even a

little before thy comming home) came to me, we agreed on the bargaine,

and he is now underneath the Fat, to see whether it be sound or no.

When credulous Lazaro heard this, he was better contented then ever,

and went to him that taried at the doore, saying. Good man, you may

goe your way, for, whereas you offered me but ten Gigliatoes for the

Fat, my loving wife hath sold it for twelve, and I must maintaine what

shee hath done: so the man departed, and the variance ended.

  Peronella then saide to her husband. Seeing thou art come home so

luckily, helpe me to lift up the Fat, that the man may come foorth,

and then you two end the bargaine together. Striguario, who thogh he

was mewed up under the tubbe, had his eares open enough; and hearing

the witty excuse of Peronella, tooke himselfe free from future

feare: and being come from under the Fat, pretending also, as if he

had herd nothing, nor saw Lazaro, looking round about him, said. Where

is this good woman? Lazaro stepping forth boldly like a man,

replyed: Heere am I, what would you have Sir? Thou? quoth

Striguario, what art thou? I ask for the good wife, with whom I made

my match for the Fat. Honest Gentleman (answered Lazaro) I am that

honest Womans Husband, for lacke of a better, and I will maintaine

whatsoever my Wife hath done.

  I crie you mercie Sir, replyed Striguario, I bargained with your

Wife for this brewing Fat, which I finde to be whole and sound: only

it is uncleane within, hard crusted with some dry soile upon it, which

I know not well how to get off, if you will be the meanes of making it

cleane, I have the money heere ready for it. For that Sir (quoth

Peronella) take you no care, although no match at all had beene

made, what serves my Husband for, but to make it cleane? Yes

forsooth Sir, answered sily Lazaro, you shall have it neate and cleane

before you pay the mony.

  So, stripping himselfe into his shirt lighting a Candle, and

taking tooles fit for the purpose; the Fat was whelmed over him, and

he being within it, wrought untill he sweated, with scraping and

scrubbing. So that these poore Lovers, what they could not

accomplish as they wold, necessity enforced them to performe as they

might. And Peronella, looking in at the vent-hole, where the Liquor

runneth forth for the meshing; seemed to instruct her husband in the

businesse, as espying those parts where the Fat was fowlest, saying:

There, there Lazaro, tickle it there, the Gentleman payes well for it,

and is worthy to have it: but see thou do thy selfe no harme good

Husband. I warrant thee Wife, answered Lazaro, hurt not your selfe

with leaning your stomacke on the Fat, and leave the cleansing of it

to me. To be breefe, the Brewing Fat was neatly cleansed, Peronella

and Striguario both well pleased, the money paide, and honest

meaning Lazaro not discontented.