THE FOURTH NOVELL

 

         WHEREIN IS MANIFESTED, THAT THE MALICE AND SUBTILTY OF

               WOMAN, SURPASSETH ALL THE ART OR WIT IN MAN

 

  Tofano in the night season, did locke his wife out of his house, and

shee not prevailing to get entrance againe, by all the entreaties

she could possiblie use: made him beleeve that she had throwne her

selfe into a Well, by casting a great stone into the same Well. Tofano

hearing the fall of the stone into the Well, and being perswaded

that it was his Wife indeed; came forth of his house, and ran to the

Welles side. In the meane while, his wife gotte into the house, made

fast the doore against her Husband, and gave bim many reproachfull

speeches.

 

  So soone as the King perceyved, that the Novell reported by Madame

Eliza was finished: hee turned himselfe to Madame Lauretta, and told

her as his pleasure, that she should now begin the next, whereto she

yeelded in this manner. O Love: What, and how many are thy

prevailing forces? How straunge are thy foresights? And how

admirable thine attempts? Where is, or ever was the Philosopher or

Artist, that could enstruct the wiles, escapes, preventions, and

demonstrations, which sodainly thou teachest such, as are thy apt

and understanding Schollers indeede? Certaine it is, that the

documents and eruditions of all other whatsoever, are weak, or of no

worth, in respect of thine: as hath notably appeared, by the

remonstrances already past, and whereto (worthy Ladies) I wil adde

another of a simple woman, who taught her husband such a lesson, as

shee never learned of any, but Love himselfe.

  There dwelt sometime in Arezzo (which is a faire Village of Tuscany)

a rich man, named Tofano, who enjoyed in marriage a young beautifull

woman, called Cheta: of whom (without any occasion given, or reason

knowne to himselfe) he became exceeding-jealous. Which his wife

perceyving, she grew much offended thereat, and tooke it in great

scorne, that she should be servile to so vile and slavish a condition.

Oftentimes, she demanded of him, from whence this jealousie in him

received originall, he having never seene or heard of any; he could

make her no other answer, but who his owne bad humour suggested, and

drove him every day (almost) to deaths doore, by feare of that which

no way needed. But, whether as a just scourge for this his grosse

folly, or a secret decree, ordained to him by Fortune and the Fates, I

am not able to distinguish: It came so to passe, that a young

Gallant made meanes to enjoy her favour, and she was so discreetly

wise in judging of his worthinesse; that affection passed so farre

mutually betweene them, as nothing wanted, but effects to answere

words, suited with time and place convenient, for which order was

taken as best they might, yet to stand free from all suspition.

  Among many other evill conditions, very frequent and familiar in her

husband Tofano; he tooke a great delight in drinking, which not only

he held to be a commendable quality, but was alwaies so often

solicited thereto: that Cheta her selfe began to like and allow it

in him, feeding his humor so effectually, with quaffing and carowsing,

that (at any time when she listed) she could make him bowsie beyonde

all measure: and leaving him sleeping in this drunkennesse, would

alwayes get her selfe to bed. By helpe heereof, she compassed the

first familiarity with her friend, yea, divers times after, as

occasion served: and so confidently did she builde on her husbands

drunkennesse, that not onely shee adventured to bring her friend

home into her owne house; but also would as often go to his, which was

some-what neere at hand, and abide with him there, the most part of

the night season.

 While Cheta thus continued on these amorous courses, it fortuned,

that her slye suspitious husband, beganne to perceive, that though

shee drunke very much with him, yea, untill he was quite spent and

gone: yet she remained fresh and sober still, and therby imagined

strange matters, that he being fast asleepe, his wife then tooke

advantage of his drowsinesse, and mightand so forth. Beeing desirous

to make experience of this his distrust, hee returned home at night

(not having drunke any thing all the whole day) dissembling both by

his words and behaviour, as if he were notoriously drunke indeede.

Which his Wife constantly beleeving, saide to her selfe: That hee

had now more neede of sleepe, then drinke; getting him immediately

into his warme bed; and then going downe the staires againe, softly

went out of doores unto her Friends house, as formerly she had used to

do, and there shee remained untill midnight.

  Tofano perceiving that his Wife came not to bed, and imagining to

have heard his doore both open and shut: arose out of his bed, and

calling his Wife Cheta divers times, without any answere returned: hee

went downe the staires, and finding the doore but closed too, made

it fast and sure on the inside, and then got him up to the window,

to watch the returning home of his wife, from whence shee came, and

then to make her conditions apparantly knowne. So long there he

stayed, till at the last she returned indeede, and finding the doore

so surely shut, shee was exceeding sorrowful, essaying how she might

get it open by strength: which when Tofano had long suffered her in

vaine to approove, thus hee spake to her. Cheta, all thy labour is

meerely lost, because heere is no entrance allowed for thee; therefore

return to the place from whence thou camest, that all thy friends

may Judge of thy behaviour, and know what a night-walker thou art

become.

  The woman hearing this unpleasing language, began to use all

humble entreaties, desiring him (for charities sake) to open the doore

and admit her entrance, because she had not bin in any such place,

as his jelous suspition might suggest to him: but onely to visit a

weak and sickly neighbour, the nights being long, she not (as yet)

capeable of sleepe, nor willing to sit alone in the house. But all her

perswasions served to no purpose, he was so setled in his owne

opinion, that all the Town should now see her nightly gading, which

before was not so much as suspected. Cheta seeing, that faire meanes

would not prevalle, shee entred into roughe speeches and

threatnings, saying: If thou wilt not open the doore and let me come

in, I will so shame thee, as never base man was. As how I pray thee?

answered Tofano, what canst thou do to me?

  The woman, whom love had inspired with sprightly counsell,

ingeniously enstructing her what to do in this distresse, stearnly

thus replyed. Before I will suffer any such shame as thou intendest

towards mee, I will drowne my selfe heere in this Well before our

doore, where being found dead, and thy villanous jealousie so

apparantly knowne, beside thy more then beastly drunkennesse: all

the neighbours will constantly beleeve, that thou didst first strangle

me in the house, and afterwardes threw me into this Well. So either

thou must flie upon the supposed offence, or lose all thy goodes by

banishment, or (which is much more fitting for thee) have thy head

smitten off, as a wilfull murtherer of thy wife; for all will Judge it

to be no otherwise. All which wordes, mooved not Tofano a jot from his

obstinat determination: but he still persisting therin, thus she

spake. I neither can nor will longer endure this base Villanie of

thine: to the mercy of heaven I commit my soul, and stand there my

wheele, a witnesse against so hard-hearted a murtherer.

  No sooner had she thus spoke, but the night being so extreamly dark,

as they could not discerne one another; Cheta went to the Well,

where finding a verie great stone, which lay loose upon the brim of

the Well, even as if it had beene layde there on purpose, shee cried

out aloud, saying. Forgive me faire heavens, and so threw the stone

downe into the Well. The night being very still and silent, the fal of

the great stone made such a dreadfull noise in the Well; that he

hearing it at the Windowe, thought verily she had drowned her selfe

indeede. Whereupon, running downe hastily, and taking a Bucket

fastened to a strong Cord: he left the doore wide open, intending

speedily to helpe her. But she standing close at the doores

entrance, before he could get to the Wels side; she was within the

house, softly made the doore fast on the inside, and then went up to

the Window, where Tofano before had stood talking to her.

  While he was thus dragging with his Bucket in the Well, crying and

calling Cheta, take hold good Cheta, and save thy life: she stood

laughing in the Window, saying. Water should bee put into Wine

before a man drinkes it, and not when he hath drunke too much already.

Tofano hearing his Wife thus to flout him out of his Window, went back

to the doore, and finding it made fast against him: he willed hir to

grant him entrance. But she, forgetting all gentle Language, which

formerly she had used to him: in meere mockery and derision (yet

intermixed with some sighes and teares, which women are saide to

have at command) out aloud (because the Neighbours should heare her)

thus she replyed.

  Beastly drunken Knave as thou art, this night thou shalt not come

within these doores, I am no longer able to endure thy base behaviour,

it is more then high time, that thy course of life should bee

publiquely known, and at what drunken houres thou returnest home to

thy house. Tofano, being a man of very impatient Nature, was as bitter

unto her in words on the other which the Neighbours about them (both

men and Women) hearing; looked forth of their Windowes, and demaunding

a reason for this their disquietnesse, Cheta (seeming as if she

wept) sayde.

  Alas my good Neighbours, you see at what unfitting houres, this

bad man comes home to his house, after hee hath lyen in a Taverne

all day drunke, sleeping and snorting like a Swine. You are my

honest witnesses, how long I have suffered this beastlinesse in him,

yet neyther your good counsell, nor my too often loving

adrionitions, can worke that good which wee have expected.

Wherefore, to try if shame can procure any amendment, I have shut

him out of doores, until his drunken fit be over-past, and so he shall

stand to coole his feet.

  Tofano (but in very uncivill maner) told her being abroad that

night, and how she had used him: But the Neighbours seeing her to be

within the house, and beleeving her, rather then him, in regard of his

too well knowne ill qualities; very sharpely reproved him, gave him

grosse speeches, pittying that any honest Woman should be so

continually abused. Now my good Neighbours (quoth she) you see what

manner of man he is. What would you thinke of me, if I should walk the

streets thus in the night time, or be so late out of mine owne

house, as this dayly Drunkard is? I was affraid least you would have

given credit to his dissembling speeches, when he told you, that I was

at the Welles side, and threw something into the Well: but that I know

your better opinion of me, and how sildome I am to be seene out of

doores, although he would induce your sharper judgement of me, and lay

that shame upon me, wherein he hath sinned himselfe.

  The Neighbours, both men and Women, were all very severely

incensed against Tofano, condemning him for his great fault that night

committed, and avouching his wife to be vertuous and honest. Within

a little while, the noise passing from Neighbour to Neighbour, at

the length it came to the eares of her Kindred, who forthwith resorted

thither, and hearing how sharpely the Neighbours reprehended Tofano:

they tooke him, soundly bastanadoed him, and hardly left any bone of

him unbruised. Afterward, they went into the house, tooke all such

things thence as belonged to hir, taking hir also with them to their

dwelling, and threatning Tofano with further infliction of punishment,

both for his drunkennesse, and causlesse jealousie.

  Tofano perceyving how curstly they had handled him, and what crooked

meanes might further be used against him, in regard her Kindred and

Friends were very mightie: thought it much better, patiently to suffer

the wrong alreadie done him, then by obstinate contending to proceed

further, and fare worse. He became a suter to her Kindred, that al

might be forgotten and forgiven, in recompence whereof; he would not

onely refraine from drunkennesse, but also, never more be jelous of

his wife. This being faithfully promised, and Cheta reconciled to

her Husband, all strife was ended, she enjoyed her friends favour,

as occasion served, but yet with such discretion, as it was not noted.

Thus the Coxcombe foole, was faine to purchase his peace, after a

notorious wrong sustained, and further injuries to bee offered.