THE FOURTH NOVELL

 

  WHEREIN IS DECLARED, HOW LOVE OFTENTIMES IS SO POWERFULL IN AGED

             MEN, AND DRIVETH THEM TO SUCH DOATING, THAT IT

           REDOUNDETH TO THEIR GREAT DISGRACE AND PUNISHMENT

 

  The Provost belonging to the Cathedrall Church of Fiesola, fell in

love with a Gentlewoman, being a widdow, and named Piccarda, who hated

him as much as he loved her. He imagining, that he lay with her: by

the Gentlewomans Bretheren, and the Byshop under whom he served, was

taken in bed with her Mayde, an ugly, foule, deformed Slut.

 

  Ladie Eliza having concluded her Novell, not without infinite

commendations of the whole company: the Queen turning her lookes to

Madame Aimillia, gave her such an expresse signe, as she must needs

follow next after Madame Eliza, whereupon she began in this manner.

  Vertuous Ladies, I very well remember (by divers Novels formerly

related) that sufficient hath beene sayde, concerning Priests and

Religious persons, and all other carrying shaven Crownes, in their

luxurious appetites and desires. But because no one can at any time

say so much, as thereto no more may be added: beside them alreadie

spoken of, I wil tel you another concerning the Provost of a Cathedral

Church, who would needes (in despight of all the world) love a

Gentlewoman whether she would or no: and therefore, in due

chastisement both unto his age and folly, she gave him such

entertainment as he justly deserved.

  It is not unknowne unto you all, that the Cittie of Fieosola, the

mountaine whereof we may very easily hither discerne, hath bene (in

times past) a very great and most ancient City: although at this day

it is wellneere all ruined: yet neverthelesse, it alwaies was, and yet

is a Byshops See, albeit not of the wealthiest. In the same Citie, and

no long while since, neere unto the Cathedrall Church, there dwelt a

Gentlewoman, being a Widdow, and commonlie there stiled by the name of

Madame Piccarda, whose house and inheritance was but small,

wherewith yet she lived very contentedly (having no wandering eye,

or wanton desires) and no company but her two Brethren, Gentlemen of

especiall honest and gracious disposition.

  This Gentlewoman, being yet in the flourishing condition of her

time, did ordinarily resort to the Cathedrall Church in holie zeale,

and religious devotion; where the Provost of the place, became so

enamored of her, as nothing (but the sight of her) yeelded him any

contentment. Which fond affection of his, was forwarded with such an

audacious and bold carriage, as hee dared to acquaint her with his

love, requiring her enterchange of affection, and the like opinion

of him, as he had of her. True it is, that he was very farre entred

into yeares, but yong and lustie in his own proud conceite,

presuming strangely beyond his capacity, and thinking as well of his

abilitie, as the youthfullest gallant in the World could doe.

Whereas (in verie deede) his person was utterly displeasing, his

behaviour immodest and scandaious, and his usuall Language,

savouring of such sensualitie, as, very fewe or none cared for his

company. And if any Woman seemed respective of him, it was in regard

of his outside and profession, and more for feare, then the least

affection, and alwayes as welcome to them, as the head-ake.

  His fond and foolish carriage stil continuing to this Gentlewoman;

she being wise and vertuously advised, spake thus unto him. Holy

Sir, if you love me according as you protest, and manifest by your

outward behaviour: I am the more to thanke you for it, being bound

in dutie to love you likewise. But if your Love have any harshe or

unsavourie taste, which mine is no way able to endure, neyther dare

entertaine in anie kinde whatsoever: you must and shall hold mee

excused, because I am made of no such temper. You are my ghostly and

spirituall Father, an Holy Priest. Moreover, yeares have made you

honorably aged; all which severall weighty considerations, ought to

confirme you in continency and chastity. Remember withall (good sir)

that I am but a child to you in years, and were I bent to any wanton

appetites, you shold justly correct me by fatherly counsell, such as

most beautifieth your sacred profession. Beside, I am a Widdow, and

you are not ignorant, how requisite a thing honestie is in widdowes.

Wherefore, pardon mee (Holy Father:) for, in such manner as you make

the motion: I desire you not to love mee, because I neither can or

will at any time so affect you.

  The Provoste gaining no other grace at this time, would not so

give over for this first repulse, but pursuing her still with

unbeseeming importunity; many private meanes he used to her by

Letters, tokens, and insinuating ambassages; yea, whensoever shee came

to the Church, he never ceased his wearisome solicitings. Whereat

she growing greatly offended, and perceyving no likelyhood of his

desisting; became so tyred with his tedious suite, that she considered

with her selfe, how she might dispatch him as he deserved, because she

saw no other remedy. Yet shee would not attempte anie thing in this

case, without acquainting her Bretheren first therwith. And having

tolde them, how much shee was importuned by the Provost, and also what

course she meant to take (wherin they both counselled and encouraged

her:) within a few daies after, shee went to Church as she was wont to

do; where so soone as the Provost espyed her: forthwith he came to

her, and according to his continued course, he fell into his amorous

courting. She looking upon him with a smiling countenance, and walking

aside with him out of any hearing: after he had spent many impertinent

speeches, shee (venting foorth manie a vehement sighe) at length

returned him this answer.

  Reverend Father, I have often heard it saide: That there is not

any Fort or Castle, how strongly munited soever it bee; but by

continuall assayling, at length (of necessity) it must and will be

surprized. Which comparison, I may full well allude to my selfe.

For, you having so long time solicited me, one while with affable

language, then againe with tokens and entisements, of such

prevailing power: as have broken the verie barricado of my former

deliberation, and yeelded mee uppe as your prisoner, to be commanded

at your pleasure for now I am onely devoted yours.

  Well may you (Gentle Ladies) imagine, that this answere was not a

little welcome to the Provost; who, shrugging with conceyte of joy,

presently thus replyed. I thanke you Madame Piccarda, and to tell

you true, I held it almost as that you could stand upon such long

resistance, considering, it never so fortuned to mee with anie

other. And I have many times saide to my selfe, that if women were

made of silver, they hardly could be worth a pennie, because there can

scarsely one be found of so good allay, as to endure the test and

essay. But let us breake off this frivolous conference, and resolve

upon a conclusion; How, when and where we may safely meete together.

Worthy Sir, answered Piccarda, your selfe may appoint the time

whensoever you please, because I have no Husband, to whom I should

render any account of my absence, or presence: but I am not provided

of any place.

  A pretty while the Provoste stood musing, and at last saide. A place

Madame? where can be more privacie, then in your owne house? Alas

Sir (quoth she) you know that I have two Gentlemen my brethren, who

continually are with me, and other of their friends beside: My house

also is not great, wherefore it is impossible to be there, except

you could be like a dumbe man, without speaking one word, or making

the very least noyse; beside, to remaine in darkenesse, as if you were

blinde, and who can be able to endure all these? And yet (without

these) there is no adventuring, albeit they never come into my

Chamber: but their lodging is so close to mine, as there cannot any

word be spoken, be it never so low or in whispering manner, but they

heare it very easily. Madame said the Provoste, for one or two nights,

I can make hard shift. Why Sir (quoth she) the matter onely

remaineth in you, for if you be silent and suffering, as already you

have heard, there is no feare at all of safty. Let me alone Madame,

replyed the Provoste, I will be governed by your directions: but, in

any case, let us begin this night. With all my heart, saide shee. So

appointing him how, and when hee should come; hee parted from her, and

shee returned home to her house.

  Heere I am to tell you, that this Gentlewoman had a servant, in

the nature of an old maide, not indued with any well featured face,

but instead thereof, she had the ugliest and most counterfeit

countenance, as hardly could be seene a worse. She had a wrie mouth,

huge great lippes, foule teeth, great and blacke, a monstrous stinking

breath, her eyes bleared, and alwayes running, the complexion of her

face betweene greene and yellow, as if shee had not spent the Summer

season in the Citie, but in the parching Countrey under a hedge; and

beside all these excellent parts, shee was crooke backt, poult footed,

and went like a lame Mare in Fetters. Her name was Ciuta, but in

regard of her flat nose, lying as low as a Beagles, shee was called

Ciutazza. Now, notwithstanding all this deformity in her, yet she

had a singuler opinion of her selfe, as commonly all such foule

Sluts have: in regard whereof, Madame Piccarda calling her aside, thus

began.

  Ciutazza, if thou wilt doe for me one nights service, I shall bestow

on thee a faire new Smocke. When Ciutazza heard her speake of a new

Smocke, instantly she answered. Madame, if you please to bestow a

new Smocke on me, were it to runne thorow the fire for you, or any

businesse of farre greater danger, you onely have the power to command

me, and I will doe it. I will not (said Piccarda) urge thee to any

dangerous action, but onely to lodge in my bed this night with a

man, and give him courteous entertainement, who shall reward thee

liberally for it. But have an especiall care that thou speake not

one word, for feare thou shouldst be heard by my Brethren, who (as

thou knowest) lodge so neere by; doe this, and then demaund thy Smocke

of me. Madame (quoth Ciutazza) if it were to lye with sixe men, rather

then one; if you say the word, it shall be done.

  When night was come, the Provoste also came according to

appointment, even when two brethren were in their lodging, they easily

heard his entrance, as Piccarda (being present with them) had informed

them. In went the Provoste without any candle, or making the least

noise to be heard, and being in Piccardaes Chamber, went to bed:

Ciutazza tarrying not long from him, but (as her Mistresse had

instructed her) she went to bed likewise, not speaking any word at

all, and the Provoste, imagining to have her there, whom he so

highly affected, fell to imbracing and kissing Ciutazza, who was as

forward in the same manner to him, and there for a while I intend to

leave them.

  When Piccarda had performed this hot piece of businesse, she

referred the effecting of the remainder to her Brethren, in such

sort as it was compacted betweene them. Faire and softly went the

two brethren forth of their Chamber, and going to the Market place,

Fortune was more favourable to them then they could wish, in

accomplishing the issue of their intent. For the heat being somwhat

tedious, the Lord Bishop was walking abroad very late, with purpose to

visit the Brethren at the Widdowes house, because he tooke great

delight in their company, as being good Schollers, and endued with

other singular parts beside. Meeting with them in the open Market

place, he acquainted them with his determination; whereof they were

not a little joyfull, it jumping so justly with their intent.

  Being come to the Widdowes house, they passed through a smal

nether Court, where lights stood ready to welcome him thither; and

entring into a goodly Hall, there was store of good wine and

banquetting, which the Bishop accepted in very thankefull manner:

and courteous complement being overpassed, one of the Brethren, thus

spake. My good Lord, seeing it hath pleased you to honour our poore

Widdowed Sisters house with your presence, for which wee shall

thanke you while we live: We would intreate one favour more of you,

onely but to see a sight which we will shew you. The Lord Bishop was

well contented with the motion: so the Brethren conducting him by

the hand, brought him into their Sisters Chamber, where the Provoste

was in bed with Ciutazza, both soundly sleeping, but enfolded in his

armes, as wearied (belike) with their former wantonning, and whereof

his age had but little need.

  The Courtaines being close drawne about the bed, although the season

was exceeding hot, they having lighted Torches in their hands; drew

open the Curtaines, and shewed the Bishop his Provoste, close snugging

betweene the armes of Ciutazza. Upon a sudden the Provoste awaked, and

seeing so great a light, as also so many people about him: shame and

feare so daunted him, that hee shrunke downe in the bed, and hid his

head. But the Bishop being displeased at a sight so unseemely, made

him to discover his head againe, to see whom he was in bed withall.

Now the poore Provoste perceiving the Gentlewomans deceite, and the

proper hansome person so sweetly embracing him: it made him so

confounded with shame, as he had not the power to utter one word:

but having put on his cloathes by the Bishops command, hee sent him

(under sufficient guard) to his Pallace, to suffer due chastisement

for his sinne committed; and afterward he desired to know, by what

meanes hee became so favoured of Ciutazza, the whole Historie whereof,

the two brethren related at large to him.

  When the Bishop had heard all the discourse, highly he commended the

wisedome of the Gentlewoman, and worthy assistance of her brethren,

who contemning to soile their hands in the blood of a Priest, rather

sought to shame him as hee deserved. The Bishop enjoyned him a

pennance of repentance for forty dayes after, but love and disdaine

made him weepe nine and forty: Moreover, it was a long while after,

before he durst be seene abroad. But when he came to walke the

streets, the Boyes would point their fingers at him, saying. Behold

the Provoste that lay with Ciutazza: Which was such a wearisome life

to him, that he became (well neere) distracted in his wits. In this

manner the honest Gentlewoman discharged her dutie, and rid her

selfe of the Provosts importunity: Ciutazza had a merry night of it,

and a new Smocke also for her labour.