THE EIGHT NOVELL

 

  WHEREIN IS APPROVED, THAT HE WHICH OFFERETH SHAME AND DISGRACE TO

             HIS NEIGHBOUR; MAY RECEIVE THE LIKE INJURY (IF

                  NOT IN WORSE MANNER) BY THE SAME MAN

 

  Two neere dwelling Neighbours, the one beeing named Spineloccio

Tavena, and the other Zeppa di Mino, frequenting each others company

daily. together; Spinelloccio Cuckolded his Friend and Neighbour.

Which happening to the knowledge of Zeppa, he prevailed so well with

the Wife of Spinelloccio, that he being lockt up in a Chest, he

revenged his wrong at that instant, so that neyther of them complained

of his misfortune.

 

  Greevous, and full of compassion, appeared the hard Fortunes of

Madame Helena to be, having much descontented, and (well-neere)

wearied all the Ladies in hearing them recounted. But because they

were very justly inflicted upon her, and according as (in equity) shee

had deserved, they were the more moderate in their commisseration:

howbeit, they reputed the Scholler not onely over-obstinate, but

also too strict, rigorous and severe. Wherefore, when Madame

Pampinea had finished hir Novell, the Queene gave command to Madame

Fiammetta, that she should follow next with her discourse; whereto

shee shewing obedience, thus beganne.

  Because it appeareth in my judgement (faire Ladyes) that the

Schollers cruelty hath much displeased you, making you more

melancholly then this time requireth: I holde it therefore very

convenient, that your contristed spirits should be chearfully revived,

with matter more pleasing and delightfull. And therefore, I mean to

report a Novell of a certaine man, who too an injury done him, in much

milder manner, and revenged his wrong more moderately, then the

furious incensed Scholler did. Whereby you may comprehend, that it

is sufficient for any man, and so he ought to esteeme it, to serve

another with the same sawce, which the offending party caused him

first to taste of: without coveting any stricter revenge, then agreeth

with the quality of the injury received.

  Know then (Gracious assembly) that, as have heretofore heard,

there lived not long since in Sienna, two young men, of honest

parentage and equall condition, neither of the best, nor yet the

meanest calling in the City: the one being named Spinelloccio

Tavena, and the other tearmed Zeppa di Mino, their houses Neighbouring

together in the streete Camollia. Seldome the one walked abroade

without the others Company, and their houses allowed equall welcome to

them both; so that by outward demonstrations, and inward mutuall

affection, as far as humane capacity had power to extend, they lived

and loved like two Brethren, they both beeing wealthy, and married

unto two beautifull women.

  It came to passe, that Spinelloccio, by often resorting to the house

of Zeppa, as well in his absence, as when he abode at home; beganne to

glance amorous looks on Zeppaes wife, and pursued his unneighbourly

purpose in such sort: that hee being the stronger perswader, and she

(belike) too credulous in beleeving, or else overfeeble in

resisting; from private imparlance, they fell to action; and continued

their close fight a long while together, unseene and without

suspition, no doubt to their equall joy and contentment.

 But, whether as a just punishment, for breaking so loving a league of

friendship and neighbour-hood, or rather a fatall infliction, evermore

attending on the closest Cuckoldry, their felicity still continuing in

this kinde: it fortuned on a day, Zeppa abiding within doors, contrary

to the knowledge of his wife, Spinelloccio came to enquire for him,

and she answering (as she verily supposed) that he was gon abroad:

uppe they went both together into the Hall, and no bodie being there

to hinder what they intended, they fell to their wonted recreation

without any feare, kissing and embracing as Lovers use to do.

  Zeppa seeing all this, spake not one word, neither made any noise at

all; but kept himselfe closely hidden, to observe the yssue of this

amorous conflict. To be briefe, he saw Spinelloccio goe with his

wife into the Chamber, and make the doore fast after them, whereat

he could have beene angry, which he held to be no part of true

wisedome. For he knew well enough, that to make an out crie in this

case, or otherwise to reveale this kinde of injury, it could no way

make it lesse, but rather give a greater addition of shame and

scandall: he thought this no course for him to take; wiser

considerations entred his braine, to have this wrong fully revenged,

yet with such a discreete and orderly carriage, as no neighbours

knowledge should by any meanes apprehend it, or the least sig of

discontent in himselfe blabbe it, because they were two dangerous

evils.

  Many notable courses whee.ed about his conceit, every one

promising fairely, and ministring meanes of formall apparance, yet one

(above the rest) wonne his absolute allowance, which he intended to

prosecute as best he might. In which resolution, he kept still very

close, so long as Spinelloccio was with his Wife; but hee being

gone, he went into the Chamber, where he found his wife, amending

the forme of her head attyre, which Spinelloccio had put into a

disordred fashion. Wife (quoth be) what art thou doing? Why? Do you

not see Husband? answered she. Yes that I do wife, replied Zeppa,

and something else happened to my sight, which I could wish that I had

not seene. Rougher Language growing betweene them, of his avouching,

and her as stout denying, with defending her cause over-weakely,

against the manifest proofes both of eye and eare: at last she fell on

her knees before him, weeping incessantly, and no excuses now

availing, she confest her long acquaintance with Spinelloccio, and

most humbly entreated him to forgive her. Uppon the which penitent

confession and submission, Zeppa thus answered.

  Wife, if inward contrition be answerable to thy outward seeming

sorrow, then I make no doubt, but faithfully thou dost acknowledge

thine owne evill dooing: for which, if thou expectest pardon of me;

determine then to fulfill effectually, such a busines as I must

enjoyne, and thou performe. I command thee to tell Spinelloccio,

that to morrow morning, about nine of the clocke, we being both abroad

walking, he must finde some apt occasion to leave my company, and then

come hither to visit thee. When he is here, sodainly will I returne

home, and upon thy hearing of my entraunce: to save his owne

credite, and thee from detection, thou shalt require him to enter this

Chest, untill such time as I am gone forth againe; which he doing, for

both your safeties, so soon as he is in the chest, take the key and

locke him up fast. When thou hast effected this, then shall I acquaint

thee with the rest remaining, which also must be done by thee, without

dread of the least harme to him or thee, because there is no malicious

meaning in me, but such as (I am perswaded) thou canst not justly

mislike. The wife, to make some satisfaction for her offence committed

promised that she would performe it, and so she did.

  On the morrow morning, the houre of nine being come, when Zeppa

and Spinelloccio were walking abroad together, Spinelloccio remembring

his promise unto his Mistresse, and the clocke telling him the

appointed houre, hee saide to Zeppa. I am to dine this day with an

especiall friend of mine, who I would be loath should tarry for my

comming; and therefore holde my departure excused. How now? answered

Zeppa, the time for dinner is yet farre enough off, wherefore then

should we part so soone? Yea but Zeppa, replied Spinelloccio, wee have

weighty matters to confer on before dinner, which will require three

houres space at the least, and therefore it behoveth me to respect due

time.

  Spinelloccio being departed from Zeppa (who followed faire and

softly after him)

  being come to the house, and kindly welcommed by the wife: they were

no sooner gone up the staires, and entering in at the Chamber doore;

but the Woman heard her Husband cough, and also his comming up the

staires. Alas deare Spinelloccio (quoth she) what shall we do? My

Husband is comming uppe, and we shall be both taken tardie, step

into this Chest, lye downe there and stirre not, till I have sent

him forth againe, which shall be within a very short while.

Spinelloccio was not a little joyfull for her good advice; downe in

the Chest lay he, and she lockt him in: by which time Zeppa was entred

the Chamber. Where are you Wife? said he, (speaking so loud, as hee in

the Chest might heare him) What, is it time to go to dinner? It will

be anon Sir, answered she, as yet it is overearly but seeing you are

come, the more hast shall be made, and every thing will be ready

quickly.

  Zeppa, sitting downe upon the Chest, wherein Spinelloccio lay not

a little affrighted, speaking stil aloud, as formerly he did: Come

hither Wife (quoth he) how shall we do for some good companie to

dine with us? Mine honest kinde neighbour Spinelloccio is not at home,

because he dineth forth to day with a deare friend of his, by which

meanes, his wife is left at home alone: give her a call out at our

Window, and desire her to come dine with us: for we two can make no

merry Musicke, except some more come to make up the consort.

  His Wife being very timorous, yet diligent to doe whatsoever he

commanded, so prevailed with the Wife of Spinelloccio: that she came

to them quickely, and so much the rather, because her Husband dined

abroad. Shee being come up into the Chamber, Zeppa gave her most kinde

entertainment, taking her gently by the hand, and winking on his Wife,

that she should betake her selfe to the kitchin, to see dinner

speedily prepared, while he sat conversing with his neighbour in the

Chamber.

  His wife being gone, he shut the doore after her; which the new-come

Neighbour perceyving, she sayde. Our blessed Lady defend me. Zeppa,

What is your meaning in this? Have you caused me to come hither to

this intent? Is this the love you beare to Spinelloccio, and your

professed loyalty in friendshippe? Zeppa, seating her downe on the

Chest, wherein her Husband was inclosed, entreating her patience, thus

began. Kinde and loving Neighbor, before you adventure too farre in

anger, vouchsafe to heare what I shall tell you.

  I have loved, and still doe love, Spinelloccio as my brother, but

yesterday (albeit he knoweth it not) I found, the honest trust I

reposed in him, deserved no other, or better recompence, but even to

be bold with my wife, in the selfesame manner as I am, and as hee

ought to do with none but you. Now, in regard of the love which I

beare him, I intend to be no otherwise revenged on him, but in the

same kinde as the offence was committed. He hath bin more then

familiar with my wife. I must borrow the selfe-same courtesie of

you, which in equity you cannot deny mee, weighing the wrong you

have sustained by my wife. Our injuries are alike, in your Husband

to me, and in my wife to you: let then their punishment and ours be

alike also; as they, so we; for in this case there can be no juster

revenge.

 The Woman hearing this, and perceiving the manifolde confirmations

thereof, protested (on solemne oath) by Zeppa; hir beliefe grew

setled, and thus she answered. My loving neighbor Zeppa, seeing this

kinde of revenge is (in meere justice) imposed on mee, and ordained as

a due scourge, as well to the breach of friendship and

neighbourhood, as abuse of his true and loyall wife: I am the more

willing to consent: alwaies provided, that it be no imbarrement of

love betweene your wife and mee, albeit I have good reason to alledge,

that she began the quarrell first: and what I do is but to right my

wrong, as any other woman of spirit would do: Afterwards, we may the

more pardon one another. For breach more easi of peace (answered

Zeppa) between my wife and you, take my honest word for your

warrant. Moreover, in requitall of this favour to mee, I will

bestowe a deare and precious jewell on you, excelling all the rest

which you have beside.

  In delivering these words, he sweetly kissed and embraced her, as

she sat on the Chest wherein her husband lay: now, what they did

else beside, in recompence of the wrong received, I leave to your

imagination, as rather deserving silence, then immodest blabbing.

Spinelloccio, being all this while in the Chest, hearing easily all

the words which Zeppa had uttered, the answer of his wife, as also

what Musicke they made over his head: you may guesse in what a case he

was, his heart being ready to split with rage, and, but that hee stood

in feare of Zeppa, he would have railde and exclaimed on his wife,

as thus hee lay shut up in the Chest. But entering into better

consideration, that so great al injury was first begun by himselfe,

and Zeppa did no more, then in reason and equity he might well do

(having evermore carried himselfe like a kinde neighbour and frend

towards him, without the least offer of distaste) he faithfully

resolved, to be a firmer friend to Zeppa then formerly hee had bin, if

it might be embraced and accepted.

  Delights and pleasures, be they never so long in contenting and

continuance, yet they come to a period and conclusion at last: So

Zeppa, having ended his amorous combate, and over the head of his

perfidious friend, thought himselfe sufficiently revenged. But now, in

consideration of a further promise made on the bargaine;

Spinelloccioes wife challengeth the jewel, then which kind of

recompence, nothing can be more welcom to women. Heereupon, Zeppa

calling for his owne wife, commanded her to open the Chest; which shee

did, and he merrily smiling, saide. Well wife, you have given mee a

Cake insted of bread, and you shal lose nothing for your labour. So

Spinelloccio comming forth of the Chest, it requireth a better witte

then mine, to tell you, which of them stood most confounded with

shame, either Spinelloccio seeing Zeppa, and knowing well enough

what he had done: or the woman beholding her husband, who easily heard

all their familiar conference, and the action thereupon so

deservedly performed.

  See neighbour, is not this your dearest Jewell? Having kept it

awhile in my wives custody; according to my promise, here I deliver it

you. Spinellcccio being glad of his deliverance out of the Chest,

albeit not a little ashamed of himselfe; without using many

impertinent words saide. Zeppa, our wrongs are equally requited on

each other, and therefore I allow thy former speeches to my Wife, that

thou wast my friend, as I am the like to thee, and so I pray thee

let us still continue. For nothing else is now to bee divided betweene

us, seeing we have shared alike in our wives, which none knowing but

our selves, let it be as closely kept to our selves. Zeppa was wel

pleased with the motion, and so all foure dined lovingly together,

without any variance or discontentment. And thence forward, each of

the Women had two Husbands, as either Husband enjoyed two Wives,

without further contention or debate.