THE NINTH NOVELL

 

     CONTAINING AN EXCELLENT ADMONITION, THAT SUCH AS COVET TO HAVE

    THE LOVE OF OTHER MEN, MUST FIRST LEARNE THEMSELVES, HOW TO LOVE:

    ALSO, BY WHAT MEANES SUCH WOMEN AS ARE CURST AND SELF-WILLED, MAY

                     BE REDUCED TO CIVILL OBEDIENCE

 

  Two yong Gentlemen, the one named Melisso, borne in the City of

Laiazzo: and the other Giose of Antioche, travalled together unto

Salomon, the famous King of Great Britaine. The one desiring to learne

what he should do, whereby to compasse and winne the love of men.

The other craved to be enstructed by what meanes hee might reclaime an

headstrong and unruly wife. And what answeres the wise King gave

unto them both, before they departed away from him.

 

  Upon the conclusion of Madame urettaes Novell, none now ained to

succeede next in er, but onely the Queene r viledge reserved,

granted to Dioneus; wherefore, after they had all smiled at the

folly of Blondello, with a chearfull countenance thus the Queene

began.

  Honourable Ladies, if with advised judgement, we do duly consider

the order of all things, we shall very easily perceyve, That the whole

universall multiplicitie of Women, by Nature, custome, and lawes,

are and ought to be subject to men, yea, and to be governd by their

discretion. Because every one desiring to enjoy peace, repose and

comfort with them, under whose charge they are; ought to be humble,

patient and obedient, over and beside her spotlesse honesty, which

is the crowne and honour of every good woman. And although those

lawes, which respect the common good of all things, or rather use

and custome (as our wonted saying is) the powers wherof are very

great, and worthy to be reverenced, should not make us wise in this

case. Yet Nature hath given us a sufficient demonstration, in creating

our bodies more soft and delicate, yea, and our hearts timorous,

fearefull, benigne and compassionable, our strength feeble, our voyces

pleasing, and the motion of our members sweetly plyant: all which

are apparant testimonies, that wee have neede of others government.

  Now, it is not to be denyed, that whosoever hath need of helpe,

and is to bee governed: meerely reason commandeth, that they should

bee subject and obedient to their governour. Who then should we have

for our helps and governours, if not men? Wherfore, we should be

intirely subject to them, in giving them due honour and reverence, and

such a one as shall depart from this rule: she (in mine opinion) is

not onely worthy of grievous reprehension, but also severe

chastisement beside. And to this exact consideration (over and above

divers other important reasons) I am the rather induced, by the

Novel which Madame Pampinea so lately reported, concerning the froward

and wilfull wife of Talano, who had a heavier punishment inflicted

on her, then her Husband could devise to doe. And therefore it is my

peremptory sentence, that all such women as will not be gracious,

benigne and pleasing: doe justly deserve (as I have already said)

rude, rough and harsh handling, as both nature, custome and lawes have

commanded.

  To make good what I have said, I wil declare unto you the counsell

and advise, given by Salomon, the wise and famous King of Great

Britaine, as a most wholesome and soveraigne medicine for the cure

of such a dangerous disease, in any woman so fouly infected. Which

counsel (notwithstanding) all such women as have no need of this

Phisicke, I would not have them to imagine, that it was meant for

them, albeit men have a common Proverbe, to wit.

 

  As the good horse and bad horse, doe both need the spurre.

  So a good wife and bad wife, a wand will make stirre.

 

  Which saying, whosoever doth interpret it in such pleasing manner as

they ought, shal find it (as you al wil affirm no lesse) to be very

true: especially in the morall meaning, it is beyond all

contradiction. Women are naturally all unstable, and easily

enclining to misgovernment; wherefore to correct the iniquity of

such a distemperature in them that out-step the tearmes and bounds

of womanhood, a wand hath been allowed for especiall phisicke. As in

the like manner, for support of vertue, in those of contrary

condition, shaming to be sullyed with so grosse a sinne: the

correcting Wand may serve as a walking staffe, to protect them from

all other feares. But, forbearing to teach any longer; let mee proceed

to my purpose, and tell you my Novell.

  In those ancient and reverend dayes, wherof I am now to speake,

the high renowne and admirable wisedome of Salomon, King of Great

Brittain, was most famous throughout all parts of the world; for

answering all doubtfull questions and demaunds whatsoever, that

possibly could be propounded to him. So that many resorted to him,

from the most remote and furthest off countreyes, to heare his

miraculous knowledge and experience, yea, and to crave his counsell,

in matters of greatest importance. Among the rest of them which

repaired thither, was a rich yong Gentleman, honourably descended,

named Melisso, who came from the City of Laiazzo, where he was both

borne, and dwelt.

  In his riding towards France, as he passed by Naples, hee

overtooke another yong Gentleman, a native of Antioch, and named

Giosefo, whose journey lay the same way as the others did. Having

ridden in company some few dayes together, as it is a custome commonly

observed among Travellers, to understand one anothers Countrey and

condition, as also to what part his occasions call him: so happened it

with them, Giosefo directly telling him, that he journyed, towards the

wise King Salomon, to desire his advise what meanes he should

observe in the reclaiming of a wilfull wife, the most froward and

selfe-willed woman that ever lived; whom neither faire perswasions,

nor gentle courtesies could in any manner prevaile withall.

Afterward he demaunded of Melisso, to know the occasion of his

travell, and whither.

  Now trust me Sir, answered Melisso, I am a native of Laiazzo, and as

you are vexed with one great mis-fortune, even so am I offended with

another. I am young, wealthy, well derived by birth, and allow

liberall expences, for maintaining a worthy table in my house, without

distinguishing persons by their rancke and quality, but make it free

for all commers, both of the city, and all places els. Notwithstanding

all which bounty and honourable entertainement, I cannot meet with any

man that loveth me. In which respect, I journey to the same place as

you doe, to crave the counsell of so wise a King, what I should doe,

whereby I might procure men to love me. Thus like two well-met

friendly companions, they rode on together, untill they arrived in

Great Britaine, where, by meanes of the Noble Barons attending on

the King, they were brought before him. Melisso delivered his minde in

very few words, whereto the King made no other answere, but this:

Learne to love. Which was no sooner spoken, but Melisso was

dismissed from the Kings presence.

  Giosefo also relating, wherefore he came thither; the King

replying onely thus: Goe to the Goose Bridge: and presently Giosefo

had also his dismission from the King. Comming forth, he found Melisso

attending for him, and revealed in what manner the King had answered

him: whereupon, they consulted together, concerning both their

answeres, which seemed either to exceed their comprehension, or else

was delivered them in meere mockery, and therefore (more then halfe

discontented) they returned homeward againe.

  After they had ridden on a few dayes together, they came to a River,

over which was a goodly Bridge, and because a great company of

Horses and Mules (heavily laden, and after the manner of a Caravan

of Camels in Egypt) were first to passe over the saide Bridge; they

gladly stayed to permit their passe. The greater number of them

being already past over, there was one shie and skittish Mule

(belike subject to fearefull starting, as oftentimes we see horses

have the like ill quality) that would not passe over the Bridge by any

meanes, wherefore one of the Muletters tooke a good Cudgell, and smote

her at the first gently, as hoping so to procure her passage.

Notwithstanding, starting one while backeward, then againe forward,

side-wayes, and every way indeed, but the direct Roadway she would not

goe.

  Now grew the Muletter extreamely angry, giving her many cruell

stroakes, on the head, sides, flancks and all parts else, but yet they

proved to no purpose, which Melisso and Giosefo seeing, and being

(by this meanes) hindred of their passage, they called to the

Muletter, saying. Foolish fellow, what doest thou? Intendest thou to

kill the Mule? why dost thou not leade her gently, which is the

likelier course to prevaile by, then beating and misusing her as

thou dost? Content your selves Gentlemen (answered the Muletter) you

know your horses qualities, as I doe my Mules, let mee deale with

her as I please. Having thus spoken, he gave her so many violent

strokes, on head, sides, hippes, and every where else, as made her

at last passe over the Bridge quietly, so that the Muletter wonne

the Mastery of his Mule.

  When Melisso and Giosefo had passed over the Bridge, where they

intended to part each from other; a sudden motion happened into the

minde of Melisso, which caused him to demaund of an aged man (who sate

craving almes of Passengers at the Bridge foot) how the Bridge was

called: Sir, answered the old man, this is called, The Goose Bridge.

Which words when Giosefo heard, hee called to minde the saying of King

Salomon, and therefore immediately saide to Melisso. Worthy friend,

and partner in my travell, I dare now assure sure that the counsell

given me by King Salomon, may fall out most effectall and true: For

I plainely perceive, that I knew not how to handle my selfe-will'd

wife, untill the Muletter did instruct me. So, requesting still to

enjoy the others Company, they journeyed on, till at the length they

came to Laiazzo, where Giosefo retained Melisso still with him, for

some repose after so long a journey, and entertained him with very

honourable respect and courtesie.

  One day Giosefo said to his Wife: Woman, this Gentleman is my

intimate friend, and hath borne me company in all my travell: such

dyet therfore as thou wilt welcome him withall, I would have it

ordered (in dressing) according to his direction. Melisso perceiving

that Giosefo would needs have it to be so; in few words directed her

such a course, as (for ever) might be to her Husbands contentment. But

she, not altring a jote from her former disposition, but rather

farre more froward and tempestuous: delighted to vexe and crosse

him, doing every thing quite contrary to the order appointed. Which

Giosefo observing, angerly he said unto her. Was it not tolde you by

my friend, in what manner he would have our Supper drest? She

turning fiercely to him, replyed. Am I to be directed by him or

thee? Supper must and shall bee drest as I will have it: if it

pleaseth mee, I care not who doth dislike it; if thou wouldst have

it otherwise, goe seeke both your Suppers where you may have it.

  Melisso marvelling at her froward answere, rebuked her for it in

very kind manner: whereupon, Giosefo spake thus to her. I perceive

wife, you are the same woman as you were wount to be: but beleeve me

on my word, I shal quite alter you from this curst complexion. So

turning to Melisso, thus he proceeded. Noble friend, we shall try

anone, whether the counsell of King Salomon bee effectuall, or no; and

I pray you, let it not be offensive to you to see it; but rather

hold all to be done in merriment. And because I would not be

hindered by you, doe but remember the answere which the Muletter

gave us, when we tooke compassion on his Mule. Worthy friend,

replyed Melisso, I am in your owne house, where I purpose not to

impeach whatsoever you doe.

  Giosefo, having provided a good Hollywand, went into the Chamber,

where his wife sate railing, and despitefully grumbling, where

taking her by the haire of her head, he threw her at his feete,

beating her extreamely with the wand. She crying, then cursing, next

railing, lastly fighting, biting and scratching, when she felt the

cruell smart of the blowes, and that all her resistance served to no

end: then she fell on her knees before him, and desired mercy for

charities sake. Giosefo fought still more and more on head, armes,

shoulders, sides, and all parts else, pretending as if he heard not

her complaints, but wearied himselfe wel neere out of breath: so

that (to be briefe) she that never felt his fingers before,

perceived and confessed, it was now too soone. This being done, hee

returned to Melisso, and said: Tomorrow we shall see a miracle, and

how availeable the counsell is of going to the Goose Bridge. So

sitting a while together, after they had washed their hands, and supt,

they withdrew to their lodgings.

  The poore beaten woman, could hardly raise her selfe from the

ground, which yet (with much adoe) she did, and threw her selfe upon

the bed, where she tooke such rest as she could: but arising early the

next morning, she came to her Husband, and making him a very low

courtesie, demaunded what hee pleased to have for his dinner; he

smiling heartely thereat, with Melisso, tolde her his mind. And when

dinner time came, every thing was ready according to the direction

given: in which regard, they highly commended the counsell, whereof

they made such an harsh construction at the first.

  Within a while after, Melisso being gone from Giosefo, and

returned home to his owne house: hee acquainted a wise and reverend

man, with the answere which king Salomon gave him, whereto hee

received this reply. No better or truer advise could possibly be given

you, for well you know, that you love not any man; but the bountiful

banquets you bestow on them, is more in respect of your owne

vaine-glory, then any kind affection you beare to them: Learne then to

love men, as Salomon advised, and you shall be beloved of them againe.

Thus our unruly Wife became mildely reclaimed, and the yong Gentleman,

by loving others, found the fruits of reciporall affection.