THE NINTH NOVELL

 

   WHEREIN IS DECLARED, THAT GREAT LORDS MAY SOMETIME BE DECEIVED BY

             THEIR WIVES, AS WELL AS MEN OF MEANER CONDITION

 

  Lydia, a Lady of great beauty, birth, and honor, being Wife to

Nicostratus, Governour of Argos, falling in love with a Gentleman,

named Pyrrhus; was requested by him (as a true testimony of her

unfeigned affection) to performe three severall actions of her

selfe. She did accomplish them all, and imbraced and kissed Pyrrhus in

the presence of Nicostratus; by perswading him, that whatsoever he

saw, was meerely false.

 

  The Novell delivered, by Madame Neiphila, seemed so pleasing to

all the Ladies; as they could not refraine from hearty laughter,

beside much liberality of speech. Albeit the King did oftentimes

urge silence, and commanded Pamphilus to follow next. So, when

attention was admitted, Pamphilus began in this order. I am of

opinion, faire Ladies, that there is not any matter, how uneasie or

doubtfull soever it may seeme to be; but the man or woman that

affecteth fervently, dare boldly attempt, and effectually

accomplish. And this perswasion of mine, although it hath beene

sufficiently approved, by many of our passed Novels: Yet

notwithstanding, I shall make it much apparent to you, by a present

discourse of mine owne. Wherein I have occasion to speake of a Lady,

to whom Fortune was more favourable, then either reason or

judgement, could give direction. In which regard, I would not advise

any of you, to entertaine so high an imagination of minde, as to

tracke her footsteps of whom I am now to speake: because Fortune

containeth not alwayes one and the same disposition, neither can all

mens eyes be blinded after one manner. And so proceed we to our Tale.

  In Argos, a most ancient Citie of Achaya, much more renowned by

her precedent Kings, then wealth, or any other great matter of

worth: there lived as Lieutenant or Governour thereof, a Noble Lord,

named Nicostratus, on whom (albeit hee was well stept into yeares)

Fortune bestowed in marriage a great Lady, no lesse bold of spirit,

then choisely beautifull. Nicostratus, abounding in treasure and

wealthy possessions, kept a goodly traine of Servants, Horses,

Houndes, Hawkes, and what else not, as having an extraordinary

felicity in all kinds of game, as singular exercises to maintaine

his health.

  Among his other Servants and Followers, there was a yong

Gentleman, gracefull of person, excellent in speech, and every way

as active as no man could be more: his name Pyrrhus, highly affected

of Nicostratus, and more intimately trusted then all the rest. Such

seemed the perfections of this Pyrrhus, that Lydia (for so was the

Lady named) began to affect him very earnestly, and in such sort, as

day or night shee could take no rest, but devised all meanes to

compasse her harts desire. Now, whether he observed this inclination

of her towards him, or else would take no notice thereof, it could not

be discerned by any outward apprehension: which moved the more

impatiency in her, and drove her hopes to dispairing passions. Wherein

to finde some comfort and ease, she called an ancient Gentlewoman of

her Chamber, in whom shee reposed especiall confidence, and thus she

spake to her.

  Lesca, The good turnes and favours thou hast received from me,

should make thee faithfull and obedient to me: and therefore set a

locke uppon thy lippes, for revealing to any one whatsoever, such

matters as now I shall impart to thee; except it be to him that I

command thee. Thou perceivest Lesca, how youthfull I am, apt to all

sprightly recreations, rich, and abounding in all that a woman can

wish to have, in regard of Fortunes common and ordinary favours: yet I

have one especiall cause of complaint: namely, the inequality of my

Mariage, my Husband being over-ancient for me; in which regard, my

youth finds it selfe too highly wronged, being defeated of those

duties and delights, which Women (farre inferiour to me) are

continuallie cloyed withall, and I am utterly deprived of. I am

subject to the same desires they are, and deserve to taste the benefit

of them, in as ample manner, as they do or can.

  Hitherto I have lived with the losse of time, which yet (in some

measure) may be releeved and recompenced: For, though Fortune were

mine enemy in Mariage, by such a disproportion of our conditions:

yet she may befriend in another nature, and kindely redeeme the injury

done me. Wherefore Lesca, to be as compleate in this case, as I am

in all the rest beside; I have resolved upon a private Friend, and one

more worthy then any other, Namely, my Servant Pyrrhus, whose youth

carieth some correspondency with mine; and so constantly have I setled

my love to him, as I am not well, but when I thinke on him, or see

him: and (indeede) shall dye, except the sooner I may enjoy him. And

therefore, if my life and well-fare be respected by thee, let him

understand the integrity of mine affection, by such good means as thou

findest it most expedient to be done: entreating him from me, that I

may have some conference with him, when he shall thereto be

solicited by me.

  The Chamber-Gentlewoman Lesca, willingly undertooke the Ladies

Embassie; and so soone as opportunity did favor her: having withdrawne

Pyrrhus into an apt and commodious place, shee delivered the Message

to him, in the best manner she could devise. Which Pyrrhus hearing,

did not a little wonder thereat, never having noted any such matter;

and therefore sodainly conceyved, that the Lady did this onely to

try him; whereupon, somewhat roundly and roughly, hee returned this

answere. Lesca, I am not so simple, as to credite any such Message

to be sent from my Lady, and therefore be better advised of thy words.

But admit that it should come from her, yet I cannot be perswaded,

that her soule consented to such harsh Language, far differing from

a forme so full of beuty. And yet admit againe, that her hart and

tongue herein were relatives: My Lord and Master hath so farre

honoured mee, and so much beyond the least part of merite in mee: as I

will rather dye, then any way offer to disgrace him: And therefore I

charge thee, never more to move mee in this matter.

  Lesca, not a jot danted at his stearne words, presently she saide.

Pyrrhus, Both in this and all other Messages my Lady shall command me,

I wil speake to thee whensoever shee pleaseth, receive what discontent

thou canst thereby; or make presumption of what doubts thou maist

devise. But as I found thee a senselesse fellow, dull, and not

shaped to any understanding, so I leave thee: And in that anger parted

from him, carrying backe the same answer to her Lady. She no sooner

heard it, but instantly shee wished her selfe to be dead; and within

some few dayes after, she conferred againe with her Chamber-woman,

saying. Lesca, thou knowest well enough, that the Oxe falleth not at

the first blow of the Axel neither is the victory won, upon a silly

and shallow adventure: Wherefore, I thinke it convenient, that once

more thou shouldst make another tryall of him, who (in prejudice to

me) standeth so strictly on his loyalty, and choosing such an houre as

seemeth most commodious, soundly possesse him with my tormenting

passions. Bestirre thy Wittes, and tippe thy tongue with a Womans

eloquence, to effect what I so earnestly desire: because, by

languishing in this lovesicke affliction, it will bee the danger of my

death, and some severe detriment to him, to be the occasion of so

great a losse.

  Lesca, comforted her Lady, so much as lay in her power to doe, and

having sought for Pyrrhus, whom she found at good leysure; and, in a

pleasing humor, thus she beganne. Pyrrhus, some few dayes since I

tolde thee, in what extreame Agonies thy Lady and mine was, onely in

regarde of her love to thee: and now againe I come once more, to

give thee further assurance thereof: Wherefore, beleeve it

unfeignedly, that if thy obstinacie continue still, in like manner

as the other day it did, expect very shortly to heare the tydings of

her death.

  It is my part therefore, to entreat thee, to comfort her long

languishing desires: but if thou persist in thy harsh opinion, in

stead of reputing thee a wise and fortunate yong man, I shall confesse

thee to bee an ignoraunt Asse. What a glorie is it to thee, to be

affected of so faire and worthy a Lady, beyond all men else

whatsoever? Next to this, tell me, how highly maist thou confesse

thy self beholding to Fortune, if thou but duly consider, how shee

hath elected thee as sole soveraigne of her hopes, which is a crowne

of honour to thy youth and a sufficient refuge against all wants and

necessities? Where is any to thy knowledge like thy selfe, that can

make such advantage of his time, as thou maist do, if thou wert

wise? Where canst thou find any one to go beyond thee in Armes,

Horses, sumptuous garments, and Gold, as will be heaped on thee, if

Lydia may be the Lady of thy love? Open then thine understanding to my

words, returne into thine owne souie, and bee wise for thy selfe.

  Remember (Pyrrhus) that Fortune presents her selfe but once before

any one, with cheerefull lookes, and her lappe wide open of richest

favours, where if choice be not quickely made, before she folde it up,

not quic and turn her backe; let no complaint afterward be made of

her, if the Fellow that had so faire an offer, proove to be miserable,

wretched, and a Begger, only thorow his owne negligence. Beside,

what else hath formerly bin saide, there is now no such neede of

loyaltie in servants to their Ladies, as should be among deare Friends

and Kindred: but servants ought rather (as best they may) be such to

their Masters, as they are to them. Doest thou imagine, that if thou

hadst a faire Wife, Mother, Daughter, or Sister, pleasing in the eye

of our Nicostratus; he would stand on such nice tearmes of duty or

Loyaltie, as now thou doest to his Ladie? Thou wert a verie foole to

rest so perswaded. Assure thy selfe, that if entreaties and faire

means might not prevalle, force, and compulsion (whatsoever ensued

thereon) woulde winne the masterie. Let us then use them, and the

commodities unto them belonging, as they would us and ours. Use the

benefit of thy Fortune, and beware of abusing her favour. She yet

smiles on thee; but take heede least she turne her backe, it will then

be over-late to repent thy folly. And if my Ladie die through thy

disdaine, be assured, that thou canst not escape with life, beside

open shame and disgrace for ever.

  Pyrrhus, who had often considered on Lescaes first message,

concluded with himselfe; that if any more she moved the same matter:

hee would returne her another kinde of answere, wholly yeelding to

content his Lady; provided, that he might remaine assured,

concerning the intyre truth of the motion, and that it was not urged

onely to trie him, wherefore, thus he replyed. Lesca, do not imagine

mee so ignorant, as not to know the certaintie of all thy former

allegations, confessing them as freely as thou doest, or canst. But

yet let mee tell thee withall, that I knowe my Lord to be wise and

judicious, and having committed all his affaires to my care and trust:

never blame mee to misdoubt, least my Ladie (by his counsell and

advice) make thee the messenger of this motion, therby to call my

Fidelitie in question.

  To cleare which doubt, and for my further assurance of her well

meanning toward me; if she wil undertake the performance of three such

things as I must needes require in this case: I am afterward her owne,

in any service she can command me. The first of them, is; that in

the presence of my Lord and Master, she kill his faire Faulcon,

which so dearly hee affecteth. The second, to send me a locke or

tuft of his beard, being puld away with her owne hand. The third and

last, with the same hand also, to pluck out one of his best and

soundest teeth, and send it mee as her loves true token. When I

finde all these three effectually performed, I am wholly hers, and not

before.

  These three strict impositions, seemed to Lesca, and her Ladie

likewise, almost beyond the compasse of all possibility. Nevertheles

Love, being a powerfull Oratour in perswading, as also adventurous

even on the most difficult dangers; gave her courage to undertake them

all: sending Lesca backe againe to him, with full assurance, of

these more then Herculean labours. Moreover, her selfe did intend to

adde a fourth taske, in regard of his strong opinion concerning the

great Wisedome of his Lord and Maister. After she had effected all the

other three, she would not permit him to kisse her, but before his

Lords face: which yet should be accomplished in such sort, as

Nicostratus himselfe should not beleeve it, although apparantly he saw

it. Well, (quoth Pyrrhus) when all these wonders are performed, assure

my Ladie. that I am truelie hers.

  Within a short while after, Nicostratus made a solemne Feastival

(accorling as yearely he used to doe) in honour of his birth day,

inviting many Lords and Ladies thereto. On which rejoycing day, so

soone as dinner was ended, and the Tables withdrawne: Lydia came

into the great Hall, where the Feast was solemnly kept; very rich

and costly apparrelled; and there, in presence of Pyrrhus, and the

whole assemblie, going to the Perch whereon the Faulcone sate, wherein

her Husband tooke no little delight, and having untyed her, as if shee

meant to beare her on her Fist: tooke her by the jesses, and beating

her against the wal, killed her. Nicostratus beholding this, called

out aloud unto her, saying. Alas Madame! What have you done? She

making him no answere, but turning to the Lords and Ladies, which

had dined there, spake in this manner.

  Ill should I take revenge on a King, that had offended me, if I

had not so much heart, as to wreake my spleene on a paltry Hawke.

Understand then, worthy Lords and Ladies, that this Faulcone hath long

time robbed me of those delights, which men (in meere equitie) ought

to have with their wives: because continually, so as breake of day

hath appeared, my Husband, starting out of bed, makes him selfe

readie, presently to Horsse, and with this Faulcon on his Fist,

rides abroad to his recreation in the Fields. And I, in such

forsaken sort as you see, am left all alone in my bed, discontented

and despised: often vowing to my selfe, to bee thus revenged as now

I am, being with-held from it by no other occasion, but onely want

of a fit and apt time, to do it in the presence of such persons, as

might bee just judges of my wrongs, and as I conceive you all to be.

  The Lords and Ladies hearing these words, and beleeving this deed of

hers to be done no otherwise, but out of her entire affection to

Nicostratus, according as her speeches sounded: compassionately

turning towards him (who was exceedingly displeased) and all

smiling, said. Now in good sadnesse Sir; Madame Lydia hath done well

in acting her just revenge upon the Hawke, that bereft her of her

Husbands kinde companie; then which nothing is more precious to a

loving wife, and a hell it is to live without it. And Lydia, being

sodainly with. into her chamber; with much other friendly and familiar

talke, they converted the anger of Nicostratus into mirth and smiling.

  Pyrrhus, who had diligently observed the whole cariage of this

businesse, saide to himselfe. My Ladie hath begun well, and proceeding

on with no worse successe, will (no doubt) bring her love to an

happy conclusion. As for the Lady her selfe, she having thus kild

the Hawke, it was no long while after, but being in the Chamber with

her husband, and they conversing familiarly together; she began to

jest with him, and hee in the like manner with her, tickling and

toying each the other, till at the length she played with his beard,

and now she found occasion aptly serving, to effect the second taske

imposed by Pyrrhus. So, taking fast hold on a small tuft of his beard,

she gave a sodaine snatch, and plucked it away quite from his chin.

Whereat Nicostratus beeing angerly moved, she (to appease his

distaste) pleasantly thus spake. How now my Lord? Why do you looke

so frowningly? What? Are you angry for a few loose haires of your

beard? How then should I take it, when you plucke mee by the haire

of my head, and yet I am not a jot discontented, because I know you do

it but in jesting manner? These friendly speeches cut off all

further contention, and she kepte charily the tuft of er Husbands

beard, which (the verie selfe-same day) shee sent to Pyrrhus her

hearts chosen friend.

  But now concerning the third matter to be adventured, it drove her

to a much more serious consideration, then those two which shee had

already so well and exactly performed. Notwithstanding, like a Ladie

of unconquerable spirit, and (in whom) Love enlarged his power more

and more: she sodainly conceited, what course was best to bee kept

in this case, forming her attempt in this manner. Upon Nicostratus

wayted two young Gentlemen, as Pages of his Chamber, whose Fathers had

given them to his service, to learne the manners of honourable

Courtship, and those qualities necessarily required in Gentlemen.

One of them, when Nicostratus sate downe to dinner or supper, stood in

Office of his Carver, delivering him all the meats whereon he fed. The

other (as Taster) attended on his Cup, and he dranke no other

drinke, but what hee brought him, and they both were highly pleasing

unto him.

  On a day, Lydia called these two youths aside; and, among some other

speeches, which served but as an induction to her intended policy; she

perswaded them, that their mouths yeelded an unsavoury and

ilpleasing smell, whereof their Lord seemed to take dislike. Wherefore

she advised them, that at such times as they attended on him in

their severall places: they should (so much as possibly they could)

withdraw their heads aside from him, because their breath might not be

noyous unto him. But withall, to have an especiall care, of not

disclosing to any one, what she had told them; because (out of meere

love) she had acquainted them therewith: which very coistantly they

beleeved, and followed the same direction as she had advised, being

loath to displease, where service bound them to obey. Choosing a

time fitting for her purpose, when Nicostratus was in private

conference with her, thus she began. Sir, you observe not the

behaviour of your two Pages, when they wait on you at the Table? Yes

but I do wife (quoth he) how squemishly they turn their heads aside

from me, and it hath often bin in my minde, to understand a reason why

they do so.

  Seating her selfe by him, as if shee had some weighty matter to tell

him; she proceeded in this manner. Alas my Lord, you shall not need to

question them, because I can sufficiently resolve you therein: which

(neverthelesse) I have long concealed, because I would not be

offensive to you. But in regard, it is now manifestly apparant, that

others have tasted, what (I immagined) none but my selfe did, I will

no longer hide it from you. Assuredly Sir, there is a most strange and

unwonted ill-savour, continually issuing from your mouth, smelling

most noysomely, and I wonder what should be the occasion. In former

times, I never felt any such foule breathing to come from you: and

you, who do dally converse with so many worthy persons, should seeke

meanes to be rid of so great an annoyance. You say verie true wife

(answered Nicostratus) and I protest to you on my Credite, I feele

no such ill smell, neither know what should cause it, except I have

som corrupted tooth in my mouth. Perhaps Sir (quoth she) it may be so,

and yet you feele not the savour which others do, yea, very

offensively.

  So, walking with her to a Window, he opened wide his mouth, the

which nicely shee surveyed on either side, and, turning her head

from him, as seeming unable to endure the savour: starting, and

shrieking out alowd, she said. Santa Maria! What a sight is this? Alas

my good Lord, How could you abide this, and for so long a while? Heere

is a tooth on this side, which (so farre as I can perceive) is not

onely hollow and corrupted: but also wholly putrified and rotten,

and if it continue still in your head, beleeve it for a truth, that it

will infect and spoile all the rest neere it. I would therefore

counsell you, to let it be pluckt out, before it breede your further

danger. I like your counsell well Lydia, replyed Nicostratus, and

presently intend to follow it; Let therefore my Barber be sent for,

and, without any longer delay, he shall plucke it forth instantly.

  How sir? (quoth she,) your Barber? Uppon mine Honour, there shall

come no Barber heere. Why Sir, it is such a rotten Tooth, and standeth

so fairely for my hand: that, without helpe or advice of any Barber,

let mee alone for plucking it forth without putting you to any paine

at all. Moreover, let me tell you Sir, those Tooth-drawers are so rude

and cruell, in performing such Offices, as my heart cannot endure,

that you should come within compasse of their currish courtesie,

neither shall you Sir, if you will be ruled by me. If I should faile

in the manner of their facilitie, yet love and duty hath enstructed

me, to forbeare your least paining, which no unmannerly Barber will

do.

  Having thus spoken, and he well contented with her kinde offer,

the instruments were brought, which are used in such occasions, all

being commanded forth of the Chamber, but onely Lesca, who evermore

kept still in her company. So, locking fast the doore, and Nicostratus

being seated, as she thought fittest for her purpose, she put the

Tanacles into his mouth, catching fast hold on one of his soundest

teeth: which, notwithstanding his loud crying, Lesca held him so

strongly, that forth she pluckt it, and hid it, having another tooth

readie made hot, and bloody, very much corrupted and rotten, which she

helde in the Tanacles, and shewed to him, who was well-neere halfe

dead with anguish. See Sir (quoth she) was this Tooth to be suffered

in your head, and to yeeld so foule a smell as it did? He verily

beleeving what she said, albeit hee had endured extreame paine, and

still complained on her harsh and violent pulling it out: rejoyced

yet, that he was now ridde of it, and she comforting him on the one

side, and the anguish asswaging him on the other, he departed forth of

the Chamber.

  In the mean while, by Lesca she sent the sound tooth to Pyrrhus, who

(wondering not a little at her so many strange attempts, which hee

urged so much the rather, as thinking their performance impossible,

and in meere loyall duty to his Lord) seeing them all three to be

notably effected; he made no further doubt of her intire love towardes

him, but sent her assurance likewise, of his readinesse and

serviceable diligence, whensoever she would command him.

  Now, after the passage of all these adventures, hardly to bee

undertaken by any other Woman: yet she held them insufficient for

his security, in the grounded perswasion of her love to him, except

shee performed another of her owne, and according as shee had boldly

promised. Houres do now seeme dayes, and dayes multiplicitie of

yeeres, till the kisse may be given, and receyved in the presence of

Nicostratus, yet hee himselfe to avouch the contrary.

  Madam Lydia (upon a pretended sicknesse) keepeth her chamber, and as

women can hardly be exceeded in dissimulation: so, shee wanted no wit,

to seeme exquisitely cunning, in all the outwarde apparances of

sicknesse. One day after dinner, shee being visited by Nicostratus,

and none attending on him but Pyrrhus onely: she earnestly

entreated, that as a mitigation, to some inward afflictions which

she felt, they would helpe to guide her into the Garden.

  Most gladly was her motion graunted, and Nicostratus gently taking

her by one arme, and Pyrrhus by the other, so they conducted her

into the Garden, seating her in a faire floury Grasse-plot, with her

backe leaning to a Peare-tree. Having sitten there an indifferent

while, and Pyrrhus, being formerly enstructed, in the directions which

she had given him, thus shee spake, some-what faintly. Pyrrhus, I have

a kinde of longing desire upon a sodaine, to taste of these Peares:

Wherefore, climbe up into the Tree, and cast me downe one or two;

which instantly hee did. Being aloft in the Tree, and throwing downe

some of the best and ripest Peares; at length (according to his

premeditated Lesson) looking downe, he said.

  Forbeare my Lord, Do you not see, in how weake and feeble

condition my Ladie is, being shaken with so violent a sicknesse? And

you Madam, how kinde and loving soever you are to my Lord, Are you

so little carefull of your health, being but now come forth of your

sicke Chamber, to be ruffled and tumbled in such rough manner?

Though such dalliances are not amisse in you both; being fitter for

the private Chamber, then an open garden, and in the presence of a

servant: yet time and place should alwaies bee respectively

considered, for the avoiding of ill example, and better testimonie

of your owne Wisedomes, which ever should be like your selves. But

if so soone, and even in the heate of a yet turbulent sicknesse,

your equall love can admit these kisses and embraces: your private

Lodginges were much more convenient, where no Servants eye can see

such Wantonnesse, nor you be reproved of indiscretion, for being too

publique in your Familiaritie. Madame Lydia, sodainely starting, and

turning unto her Husband, sayde. What doth Pyrrhus prate? Is he well

in his wittes? Or is he franticke? No Madame, replyed Pyrrhus, I am

not franticke. Are you so fond as to thinke that I do not see your

folly? Nicostratus wondering at his Words, presently answered. Now

trust me Pyrrhus, I think thou dreamest. No my Lord, replyed

Pyrrhus, I dreame not a jot, neither do you, or my Ladie: but if

this Tree could affoord the like kindnesse to me, as you do to her,

there would not a Peare bee left uppon it. How now Pyrrhus? (quoth

Lydia) this language goeth beyond our understanding, it seemeth thou

knowest not what thou saist. Beleeve me husband, if I were as well

as ever I have bin, I would climb this tree, to see those idle wonders

which hee talketh of: for, while he continueth thus above, it

appeareth, hee can finde no other prattle, albeit he taketh his

marke amisse.

  Heereupon, he commanded Pyrrhus to come downe, and being on the

ground: Now Pyrrhus (quoth he) tell me what thou saydst. Pyrrhus,

pretending an alteration into much amazement, straungely looking about

him, saide; I know not verie well (my Lord) what answere I should make

you, fearing least my sight hath bin abused by error: for when I was

aloft in that Tree, it seemed manifestly to me: that you embraced my

Lady (though somewhat rudely, in regard of her perillous sicknesse,

yet lovingly) and as youthfully as in your yonger dales, with infinite

kisses, and wanton dalliances, such as (indeede) deserved a far more

private place in my poore opinion. But in my descending downe, mee

thought you gave over that amorous familiaritie, and I found you

seated as I left you. Now trust mee Pyrrhus, answered Nicostratus, Thy

tongue and wit have very strangely wandred, both from reason and all

reall apprehension: because we never stirred from hence, since thou

didst climbe up into the Tree, neither mooved otherwise, then as now

thou seest us. Alas my Lord (saide Pyrrhus) I humbly crave pardon

for my presumption, in reprooving you for medling with your owne:

which shal make me hereafter better advised, in any thing what

soever I heare or see.

  Mervaile and amazement, encreased in Nicostratus far greater then

before, hearing him to avouch still so constantly what he had seene,

no contradiction being able to alter him, which made him rashly sweare

and say. I will see my selfe, whether this Peare-tree bee enchanted,

or no: and such wonders to be seene when a man is up in it, as thou

wouldst have us to beleeve. And being mounted up so hy, that they were

safe from his sodaine comming on them, Lydia had soone forgotten her

sicknes, and the promised kisse cost her above twenty more, beside

verie kinde and hearty embraces, as lovingly respected and entertained

by Pyrrhus. Which Nicostratus beholding aloft in the tree; cryed out

to her, saying. Wicked woman, What doest thou meane? And thou

villain Pyrrhus, Darst thou abuse thy Lord, who hath reposed so much

trust in thee? So, descending in haste downe againe, yet crying so

to them still: Lydia replyed, Alas my Lord, Why do you raile and

rave in such sort? So, he( found her seated as before, and Pyrrhus

waiting with dutiful reverence, even as when he climbed up the Tree:

but yet he thought his sight not deceyved, for all their demure and

formall behaviour, which made him walke up and downe, extreamely

fuming and fretting unto himselfe, and which in some milder manner

to qualifie, Pyrrhus spake thus to him.

  I deny not (my good Lord) but freely confesse, that even as your

selfe, so I, being above in the Tree, had my sight most falsely

deluded: which is so apparantly confirmed by you, and in the same

sort, as there needeth no doubt of both our beguiling; in one and

the same suspitious nature. In which case to be the more assuredly

resolved, nothing can be questioned, but whether your beleefe do so

farre misleade you, as to thinke, that my Ladie (who hath alwayes bene

most wise, loyall, and vertuous,) would so shamefullie wrong you: yea,

and to performe it before your face, wherein I dare gadge my life to

the contrary. Concerning my selfe, it is not fit for mee, to argue

or contest in mine owne commendation: you that have ever knowne the

sincerity of my service, are best able to speake in my behalfe: and

rather wold I be drawne in peeces with foure wilde horses, then bee

such an injurious slave to my Lord and Master.

  Now then, it can be no otherwise, but we must needs rest

certainely perswaded, that the guile and offence of this false

appearance, was occasioned by thee onely. For all the world could

not make me otherwise beleeve, but that I saw you kisse and most

kindely imbrace my Lady: if your owne eyes had not credited the like

behaviour in me to her, of which sinne, I never conceived so much as a

thought. The Lady (on the other side) seeming to be very angerly

incensed, starting faintly up on her feet, yet supporting her selfe by

the tree, said. It appeareth Sir, that you have entertained a goodly

opinion of me, as, if I were so lewde and lasciviously disposed, or

addicted to the very least desire of wantonnesse: that I would bee

so forgetfull of mine owne honour, as to adventure it in your sight,

and with a servant of my house? Oh Sir, such women as are so

familiarly affected, need learne no wit of men in amourous matters;

their private Chambers shall be better trusted, then an open blabing

and tell-tale Garden.

  Nicostratus, who verily beleeved what they had both said, and that

neither of them would adventure such familiarity before his face:

would talke no more of the matter, but rather studyed of the rarity of

such a miracle, not seene, but in the height of the tree, and changing

againe up on the descent. But Lydia, containing still her

collourable kinde of impatience, and angerly frowning upon

Nicostratus, stearnely saide. If I may have my will, this villanous

and deceiving tree, shall never more shame me, or any other woman: and

therefore Pyrrhus, runne for an Axe, and by felling it to the

ground, in an instant, revenge both thy wrong and mine. Doest not thou

serve a worthy Lord? And have not I a wise Husband, who, without any

consideration, will suffer the eye of his understanding to be so

dazeled, with a foolish imagination beyond all possibility? For,

although his eyes did apprehend such a folly, and it seemed to be a

truth indeed: yet, in the depth of setled judgement, all the world

should not perswade him, that it was so.

  Pyrrhus had quickely brought the Axe, and hewing downe the tree,

so soone as the Lady saw it fall; turning her selfe to Nicostratus,

she said. Now that I have seene mine honour and honesties enemy laid

along; mine anger is past, and Husband, I freely pardon you:

intreating you heartily henceforward, not to presume or imagine,

that my love eyther is, or can bee altred from you.

  Thus the mocked and derided Nicostratus, returned in againe with his

Lady and Pyrrhus; where perhaps (although the Peare-tree was cut

downe) they could find as cunning meanes to over-reach him.